AITA for not buying my sister a bridal shower gift?

A Redditor finds themselves at odds with family expectations regarding gift-giving for their sister’s upcoming bridal shower. As a skilled crocheter, they have already committed to making a blanket for the wedding, investing over $100 in materials.

When their mother insists that they should also bring a gift to the bridal shower, the Redditor feels frustrated by what they see as an outdated tradition. Is it fair to expect multiple gifts for one event, or is the sister’s blanket gift enough? Read the original story below to delve into the complexities of family obligations and gift-giving norms.

‘ AITA for not buying my sister a bridal shower gift?’

I, 30f, have a sister, 35f. She is getting married in December. For her wedding present she asked me to make her a blanket; I crochet. I said sure absolutely I could that for her. She picked the colours, design, size, etc.

Her bridal shower is coming up and my mom asked me what I’m getting for her and I told her I wasn’t getting her anything for the bridal shower since I’m already making her a blanket for her wedding. My mom says I’m the a**hole for this since it’s “tradition” to get the bride stuff for the bridal shower and as well for the couple for the wedding.

I think that it’s a ridiculous tradition considering I’ve already spent over 100$ in materials for the blanket, and if I were to sell the blanket (in general) it would be around 300$ to purchase what with time, money, expertise, etc factored into the cost and complexity of the pattern. So AITA for not getting my sister a bridal shower gift as well?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

ZombieHealthy2616 −  I’d get something small and reasonably priced from her registry for her shower gift. Give the blanket as a wedding gift. Rule of thumb is you buy something to set up a household for a shower gift. You could do something as simple as a cook book for a cuisine she loves and a bouquet of kitchen utensils or new sheets for her bed.

MileyMae2k −  **NTA.** You’re already putting in a lot of time, effort, and money into creating a personalized, handmade wedding gift that’s worth way more than anything you could grab off a registry. It’s not like you’re skipping out on gifting entirely—you’re just focusing your energy on something meaningful and significant.

Traditions are fine, but they shouldn’t force you into buying more stuff just for the sake of it, especially when you’re already going above and beyond with your wedding gift.

Your mom might not see it that way, but your sister should understand and appreciate the love and effort you’re putting into her blanket. Quality over quantity, right? Plus, your gift is literally wrapping her in love. 💕🧶

MyCouchPulzOut_IDont −  **INFO: I don’t really understand what a bridal shower** ***is*** **or the purpose.**
Maybe I just don’t understand the tradition though. What kind of gifts do you typically get at a bridal shower anyway? Like I get a baby shower is for buying baby stuff that you probably don’t already have.

At bachelorette parties they sometimes do the gag gifts like sexy lingerie and toys as if to say “you’re gonna need this!” *wink*. The wedding gift itself is usually a household item to get the newlyweds started as a cohabitating couple because people used to not live together before marriage and it’s a nice way to give the couple a boost nowadays.

As a bride, what do you need to be ‘showered’ with??  ETA: if the tradition of bridal shower gifts are old recipes and other things that relate to homemaking/marital advice, **gift her a pattern and tell her to make her own darn blanket 😆NTA🤣**

I’m joking about telling her to make your own blanket – the shower sounds like mom’s idea in the first place. If you cant go, so you’re not the only one there without a gift because it sounds like they open the gifts in front of everyone.

jjj68548 −  Personally I wouldn’t show up to a bridal shower empty handed. The point of the bridal shower is to shower the bride in gifts. Usually I’d say gifts are optional but not for a bridal shower, especially when your sister is the bride. Even a card with 50 dollars should be given since she’s your sister.

I get that the blanket is 300 dollars for a wedding gift but honestly that’s what I gave my sister for her wedding on top of a bridal shower gift. I’m close with my sister and was in her wedding. I’m not sure how close you are with yours. YTA if you show up to the shower without a small gift or card.

thatsaSagittarius −  Slight YTA. A bridal shower is strictly for the bride – wedding is for the couple. I would suggest not spending a whole lot and just getting her some stuff she could use for the day of – a nice robe, ‘bride’ slippers and an inexpensive “bride” cup with a straw. I did this for my SIL as a secondary gift and it cost me around $40 total.

Brilliant-Sea-2015 −  Considering the entire point of any “shower” is to literally shower the guest of honor in gifts, YTA.
I get your line of thinking, but showing up to a bridal shower (or baby shower, FWIW) empty-handed is kind of tacky. It doesn’t have to be anything large or expensive. My favorite shower present was literally a cookbook.

ur-humble-overlord −  NTA. I assume if your sister asked you to do this blanket, she’s excited for it and special to her. If she’s a halfway decent person, she didn’t invite her younger sister to the shower with the hopes she’d spend even more.

Besides you get so much nonsense at showers she’ll probably be glad you saved her a trip to the donation bin. The bride stuff is all fast fashion and its kinda sad to have to trash it all after.

I dont think your mom was a huge AH but her pressuring you to spend more is silly. My sister gave me a card with a hand written link to the never gonna give you up music video for my shower. Yes, im serious. And i love it, because she’s my sister, and of course she rickrolled me.

tinyd71 −  I think a small gift for the bridal shower would be appropriate. Most people buy wedding presents, and also a shower gift (if they’re invited to both!).

Your wedding present sounds lovely and meaningful, but doesn’t preclude you from giving a bridal shower gift. It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant but I would think it’s worth it to avoid the awkwardness of being the only person not giving a present at the shower!. Light YTA

TriforceThunder −  NAH, I mean it’s normal + expected for people to both get wedding & bridal shower gifts so I don’t think you’re mother or sister are wrong there.

But you are also putting time into DIY an entire blanket + spending even more money in this economy lmao. Just a slight vary in opinions but noone’s really wrong here

Mysterious-Bird1293 −  I’m not going to say you are the AH but this is pretty standard. I generally buy a gift for the shower and give cash at the wedding. Always within my budget and the amount I spend/give depends on how close I am to the couple.

I do believe some people go overboard with bachelorette parties, luncheons, etc and expecting gifts at each one but a shower and wedding gift is normal. Especially for a sibling. But it’s not mandatory so I’ll go with NAH.