AITA for not buying a coffee maker for guests?

A Redditor shared a situation where a guest criticized them for not having a coffee maker, even though neither they nor their spouse drink coffee. Despite offering to buy coffee from a nearby café, the guest felt it was bad hosting. Read the full story below to decide if they’re in the wrong or if the guest’s expectations were unreasonable.

‘ AITA for not buying a coffee maker for guests?’

Me and my husband do not drink coffee. So we do not have a coffee maker or any coffee beans. He has a friend who lives hours away and he sees him in person once every year or two. Usually when he comes up, he brings his girlfriend. They stayed over for a few days last year. Before they came, I asked if they wanted any food or drinks to have in the house and I told them what we normally kept stocked in the house. They didn’t make any requests.

The first morning the girlfriend wanted coffee. I told her we did not have any way to make coffee here, but I could bring her to the coffee shop which was 2 minutes away. She declined but her mood seemed sour after that. We hung out with other mutual friends for the day and I learned from one of them that she was really upset we didn’t have a way to make coffee at home because she needs it in the morning.

Each morning I offered to bring her to the coffee shop and she always declined. I even offered it as my treat in case they didn’t have the money. She declined still.

Well they came over again a year later. I still didn’t have a coffee maker because we don’t drink coffee. This time, she called me a bad host to my face because I had them over knowing she needs her coffee and I didn’t get anything to make coffee. I am a people pleaser. And I go huge lengths to make guests most comfortable. But I can’t justify having a coffee maker we don’t use for maybe a once per year guest. I don’t have the storage space for it.

I talked to people about it and some think I was right, we don’t drink coffee, we don’t have it. But a lot of others think that if you ever have guests, you should have coffee available. And this makes me think of my mom and grandma who always had coffee ready within minutes of guests arriving, expected or not. So this skews my view. AITA for not having a coffee maker and coffee beans when I knew a guest who needs coffee comes to stay at my house?

Check out how the community responded:

KrofftSurvivor −  NTA – I visit a relative a couple times a year. I asked if they minded, then picked up a cheap $15 mini coffee maker & a can of coffee. Told ’em to do what they wanted with the leftover coffee, and they just stick the coffee maker in an upper cupboard after we leave. 

If you were kind enough to offer to take her to a coffee shop each morning, her refusal is a ~her~ problem. And knowing you didn’t have any, she could have brought instant the next time she visited,  but went with acting like you were a hotel. Which is exactly where they should stay next time they’re in town.

pamelaonthego −  I have a pretty solid caffeine addiction and I would be very grumpy that first morning upon discovering the absence of coffee, but I would fix the problem myself by getting a couple of basic supplies. You also offered to drive her to the coffee shop. It’s also pretty unappreciative and rude to complain the way she did. I would suggest that the hotel down the street may have accommodations that are more to her standards next time. NTA.

Basic-Regret-6263 −  NTA.  She can bring a French press.  Or, rather, she could have – now that she’s called you a bad host, I’d say that she’s permanently off the guest list unless there’s a substantial grovel.

No_Middle6092 −  NTA. I think you should have just said something like “Sorry, we don’t drink coffee so we can’t make it but if there’s anything else we can get or do for your visit let us know.” I learned from one of them that she was really upset we didn’t have a way to make coffee at home because she needs it in the morning. Each morning I offered to bring her to the coffee shop and she always declined. Seems like an awful friend, but maybe your guests are just weirdos? 

She called me a bad host to my face because I had them over knowing she needs her coffee and I didn’t get anything to make coffee. I think you’d be better off saying “We don’t drink coffee so we can’t provide that for our guests” rather than offering it in the first place, this way you’re not getting blamed if they decline or want something else instead.

ninaa1 −  I love that a bunch of commenters are like “just get a coffee maker!” completely forgetting that not everyone has extra space in their kitchen or home for extra appliances. Some people live in tiny places! With no pantry! And no extra room for appliances that only get used once a year by guests!

If there’s a coffee shop just a few minutes away, why isn’t her boyfriend getting up and getting coffee so it’s ready when she wakes up? Why is this OP’s problem and not the bf’s problem? I honestly wouldn’t invite her back if she’s this rude and helpless.. NTA.

Tinkerpro −  NTA. She was though. I travel with coffee, a drip cone and filters. All I need is boiling water and I am covered. Usually need it when I visit my son, they don’t drink coffee and I think it is wrong to ask them to have a coffee maker just for me.

If she is the only person to complain don’t give it another thought. You could get a French press and a small bag of coffee to keep in the freezer. neither will take up too much space, but if you live in a small home, it could take up more than you can afford.

SnooDoughnuts4691 −  As a host, you asked for specific wants from your guests. You suggested an nearby alternative after not catering to a need which wasn’t communicated. For this person to expect you to purchase a coffee maker and the supplies to create this beverage only for their comfort is ridiculous.. NTA.

Suz9006 −  NTA! Someone who called me a bad host would not be invited back. Such rudeness in guests is unacceptable.

barrie247 −  I think you’re going to get a very Reddit answer here, which is very individualist. And the Reddit answer is, no, you can’t be the a**hole for not providing something you don’t drink. Which, fair enough, you aren’t really.
But, you also aren’t a good host. There are lots of things I don’t like that I stock when people come over. I don’t particularly like orange peco, but I always have it on hand.

I don’t do anything with milk but I always make sure we have milk and cream on hand. We don’t drink pop but pick it up. I hate flat water but make sure it’s available. I don’t have to have these things in my house for guests, but they’re small easy things to have in the house for guests. A tin of instant coffee, or a pour over are not going to take up very much space (and I say that as someone with a galley kitchen with very little space).

Again, you don’t have to do anything, Reddit is right. But it also doesn’t make you a good host. Which, you might be fine with, I don’t know you, and that’s valid if that’s how you feel. Edit: guys, no one is surprised you disagree. I already stated in my first sentence that Reddit will offer a very specific answer. You don’t have to keep saying you disagree, I’ve already covered that in my first sentence long before you read it.

pixyfire −  Eh. If you want to accommodate your guests, go to the Goodwill and buy a French press. It’ll be less than $5. they’re very small and take up no room and then get a very small bag of pre-ground coffee when your friend comes. They can manage. When they leave throw the bag in the freezer. The next time somebody wants coffee you can offer your set up.

That being said, if you don’t want to provide coffee, make it known. In my house, we don’t eat meat. This house is meat free. They know before they get here. If they don’t like it, they’re free to get a hotel.