AITA for not being upset that my friends dog could die because of me?

A Redditor hosted a garden party and explicitly requested no pets due to her cats and personal preferences.
However, a friend disregarded this rule, bringing her dog, which led to unforeseen consequences when the dog consumed something in the garden and became seriously ill.

Curious to know how this situation unfolded? Read the full story below!

‘ AITA for not being upset that my friends dog could die because of me?’

I was hosting a big garden party at the weekend. I invited my entire friend group plus their partners, one of my friend takes her dog everywhere. I told her no pets were allowed.

Although it was a garden party we were in and out of my home and I have 4 cats. My cats do not like dogs and neither do I.
Anyway my friend showed up with her dog, I told her that her dog was not welcome in my home or garden.

And asked her to please take her dog home or elsewhere. I thought my friend left. I went inside to sort some things out. I went into my garden about 15 minutes later and my friend was standing there in my garden talking to our friends.

She doesn’t live that close so I was confused. I went to ask her how she got back so quickly, she told me she just popped in and was going since her dog isn’t welcome. I asked her where her dog is and she shrugged her shoulders and said he was around. I went looking and found him at the bottom of the garden eating my crops and making a mess.

I was angry and told my friend to get her dog off my property. A few hours later she called me asking me what her dog ate, I had no clue. My gardener plants and attends everything, I told her I didn’t know, but told her he’d made a huge mess, dug things up and clearly eaten things.

She shouted at me that her dog is sick and that I need to find out what the dog ate. I told her I had no idea, but I’d text my gardener to ask, but it was really her problem.

I did send the text, but my gardener didn’t answer. My friend called again wanting to know what her dog ate, but I told her I still didn’t know. She told me I obviously don’t care if her dog dies and called me an AH.

I still don’t know what her dog ate, but apparently he is very sick and might die. I feel bad, but I told her not to bring her dog on my property so I don’t feel responsible like she says I am.. AITA?

ETA – After being unable to reach my gardener I took pictures of everything the dog dug up, which was a lot and sent them to my friend, but I have no idea what it ate and what it just dug up and for all I know what it ate isn’t even pictured because the whole section is a mess.

This wasn’t good enough for her, she wants me to tell her exactly what it ate and I just don’t know and don’t want to spend hours trying to figure it out when I don’t even know if it can be figured out.

ETA 2 – My cats are house cats, they don’t go in my garden and aren’t at risk of getting sick from whatever my gardener is growing. My garden is huge and what is growing changes often so no I don’t keep track of what is planted.

Update – I blocked ex friend after dozens of n**ty calls and texts. But I got an update from a mutual friend. The dog is at dog hospital, dog is pretty sick, but is expected to make a full recovery.

I managed to contact my gardener eventually, it looks like the dog ate some potatoes or something?  A lot was destroyed so even my gardener isn’t 100% sure what was eaten, but he thinks maybe the pesticides were the problem.

All info from gardener was passed to ex friend.Ex friend has seen this post and is very angry about it. Everyone say hi to Suzanne!

These are the responses from Reddit users:

mizfit0416 −  NTA – You asked her nicely not to bring the dog but yet she did. You asked her to leave but yet, she didn’t. She wasn’t even *WATCHING* her dog. If the dog dies, it’s on her.

UsualConferenceSnack −  I mostly just feel sorry for the dog having such an irresponsible parent. Your yard wasn’t dog safe, but you made it pretty clear the dog wasn’t welcome.
Your friend ignored that, and it is her dog who almost paid the price for it. Super sad and you are NTA.

Your friend is a super-duper-mega-a**hole though. She is saying you don’t care if her dog dies, but she ought to look at herself… Poor doggo deserves better.

atmasabr −  She told me I obviously don’t care if her dog dies Well, who set the bar on negligence?
You set a boundary not once, not twice, but **three times**, and each time your friend exercised less and less judgment, until she was actually negligent.

I take you at your word that you actually made an effort to find out what her dog ate. I fail to see how you possibly could have done anything different other than express remorse. I do not believe your friend was owed any remorse.

[Edit: I note the commenters who believe a more heroic effort was possible and warranted. Fine. Possible I agree with. Warranted I do not–it is not your dog. [Edit: YIKES! Did I forget to vote? Oh well, guess I’m stuck persuading.\]

DJ_HouseShoes −  What’s important right now is that you find out what the dog ate and then bill your friend for the lost plants and their replacement.. Also NTA.

tulipvonsquirrel −  NTA. As far as I know, the type of plant is irrelevant. She should have taken the dog to the vet so it could be given activated charcoal to induce vomiting and absorb the toxins.
Its not like there are special medications given depending on which plant the dog ate.

weebu123 −  NTA she obviously doesn’t care about her dog either if she’s just letting him wander out of sight. You had clearly told her he wasn’t allowed, her turn to learn that our choices have consequences.

Equivalent-Cry-5175 −  NTA your friend was told not to bring her dog she did anyways and then, She didn’t even keep track of it? What a lousy dog mom. She doesn’t deserve a dog. What a lousy friend.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. This is a classic case of f**k around and find out.

jess-kaa −  NTA. It’s sad about the dog, but your friend should have been more responsible. It’s pretty common knowledge that there are many plants known to be toxic to dogs/upset their stomachs.

And regardless of that, the dog was never welcome to begin with. Had she just never brought the dog or left instead of “popping in”, dog would be fine.

Icelandia2112 −  NTA. She should be happy you aren’t charging her for your ruined plants.

Was the Redditor justified in feeling no responsibility for the dog’s condition, or should she have done more to ensure the animal’s safety? How would you have handled a similar situation involving an uninvited pet? Share your thoughts below!