AITA for not attending my family Christmas gathering because I can’t afford the $250 white elephant gift?

A Redditor shared their dilemma about skipping their family Christmas gathering due to the $250 price tag for this year’s white elephant gift exchange. With financial struggles and tight budgeting, they felt excluded and unsure about attending without participating. Read the full story below to explore their perspective and decide if they’re in the wrong.

‘ AITA for not attending my family Christmas gathering because I can’t afford the $250 white elephant gift?’

My (29F) family has a tradition where we do a big Christmas get-together every year, and the highlight is the white elephant gift exchange. It’s always been a fun time, but this year my family decided to raise the price limit to $250 per gift.

I’m honestly a little shocked. I get that inflation has hit, but that’s a lot of money for one gift, especially for something that’s supposed to be fun and quirky, not something super expensive or meaningful. I have a pretty tight budget this year with unexpected medical bills, and just general life expenses. After paying for all my bills and essentials, there’s barely enough left to get by. The idea of spending $250 on a gift is totally unrealistic for me. xpected to show up for the family dinner and festivities.

I started feeling like I was being pushed out of the tradition because of my financial situation. I told her that, honestly, if I can’t participate in the gift exchange, then I might not come at all. I didn’t want to be the person who has to sit awkwardly and watch everyone else exchange expensive gifts when I couldn’t contribute.

Plus, I didn’t want to feel embarrassed about not meeting their expectations.. My mom thinks I’m being “petty” and that it’s “just one gift.” My dad says I’m overreacting and that it’s not about the price, it’s about the spirit of Christmas (which, to be fair, I do agree with, but still—$250??).

Some of my siblings are saying I should just s**k it up and “join in” because it’s about being together, while others are telling me they agree with me but are still going to participate since the majority of the family agreed to this.

There’s approximately 18-25 people in my family that will be there, and we are still expected to get gifts for our family members as well. I really don’t want to make a big scene or cause drama, but at the same time, I feel like this is a massive financial burden that’s being placed on me, and I just don’t know if it’s worth it to show up and feel out of place… So, aita if I decide to sit this one out?

Edit: to clarify $250 is the amount my family “agreed” to when it comes to the cost of the gift. I don’t even think a maximum amount was discussed.

Check out how the community responded:

MerlinBiggs −  NTA. I get it would be very uncomfotable to be the only one who couldn’t afford it. Tell your Dad you will come if he gives you the £250.

Fuzzy_Shower4821 −  NTA. Our family has a rule about gifts: take care of the kids. Adults don’t swap gifts, for this EXACT reason. We have very well off individuals and some who are on the paycheck to paycheck struggle. Your family is being dumb, and I would stay home, make my favorite comfort food, and do exactly f**k all.

Witty_Detail_2573 −  NTA – thats a shockingly big price tag for Xmas white elephant unless you are a lottery winner! Combined with the fact that you have actual gifts to buy, I’d message the whole family on one group chat and say “I’ve been advised the gift amount this year for white elephant is $250. I can’t afford that so I’m priced out of white elephant this year. Sorry guys.

Please take me out of the white elephant list for this year. Have done this on a group chat so no one includes me mistakenly.” Then sit back and watch the chat blow up. Some nanna or aunt will be outraged and kick off for you and I bet this will encourage others to opt out too.

Zlatyzoltan −  $250 minimum for White Elephant is dumb. The whole fun of white Elephant is look on people’s face when they get stuck with the terrible gift.

MegC18 −  Look for a $5 gift in a charity shop that could be $250… an “art work” for example.

essres −  NTA. $250 is a ridiculous amount to spend on a useless gift. We play a card game at Christmas called ‘snatch’ that involves stealing wrapped presents from each other but they are the worst things we could find from charity shops with the odd half decent prize. Genuinely hilarious to see people fighting over something that is truly awful. Why doesn’t your family donate the $5k+ they were going to waste to a homeless shelter or other charity instead.

59Kia −  I don’t get it. $250 is the limit, not the target yeah?

meeldtar −  Stay home, spend a few bucks on having a lovely, peaceful, meal, a few treats, and buy yourself a gift you know you want. Sounds perfect to me! If they want to price family members out of Christmas, they might want to recheck the meaning of Christmas.

kimba-the-tabby-lion −  This is a terrible idea. No one should be exchanging “white elephant” gifts at any price. So much carefully thought through Christmas gifts will end up in landfill, but to buy a gift especially to be awkward is an environmental nightmare. Add the cost, and it’s also a financial one.. NTA.

shoefarts666 −  One time I suggested we switch from buying everyone gifts (parents, siblings, in-laws, 5+ nibblings) and everyone freaked out at me. . So, NTA. But I say this as someone who doesn’t attend christmases. I honestly think this s**t is the opposite of what I want it to be. My therapist got me to day dream about what christmas could be. I made a pinterest board— It’s essentially the movie home alone.