AITA for not asking my MIL nicely to hand over the baby for feeding?

A Redditor shared how they reached a breaking point with their MIL after repeatedly being denied access to their newborn when it was time to feed. Despite being exhausted and needing to feed her baby.

The MIL refused to hand over the child unless the user “asked nicely,” leading to a heated confrontation with both her husband and MIL. Now the user is questioning if their response was too harsh. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for not asking my MIL nicely to hand over the baby for feeding?’

I’m a new mom, had my son 5 weeks ago. my husband’s parents have been staying with us and things have been super overwhelming. MIL has a habit of taking the baby and refusing to give him back to me. She’d say I’m deliberately ruining her time with him.

My son needs feeding every 2hrs and she basically makes me beg her to hand him over to me so I could feed. last night at 10PM. MIL had my son in her arms while sitting on the couch with my husband and his dad. I was exhausted, the baby started crying. I told my MIL to hand him over to me so I could feed him.

She refused and I kept asking. my husband starts talking about what a whinny little girl I was to complain that our son is receiving love and cuddles and how I’m using feeding as an excuse to keep the baby away from his mom. I ignored him and told his mom to hand over the baby. she refused and said I needed to wait a little longer.

I got angry at this point, My husband said I could take the baby after I ask his mom nicely. This had me seething I meanly told his mom to stop being annoying and overbearing and hand him over to me. She looked at me shocked and hurt. She handed the baby over and ran into the guest room and my husband gave me a look than followed her and stayed inside to comfort her.

He came into the room while I was feeding my son and started yelling about how disrespectful I was to speak to his mom this way and treat her poorly when all she’s doing is showing our son more love than I do. I told him about how she’s been taking the baby for hours and preventing me from feeding him properly.

he said that 1, our son isn’t an object for me to act like I own him and 2, his mom was doing nothing wrong and 3, I should’ve asked nicely instead of being a bi$ch to his mom and making her cry. I started crying and yelled that I’d go to my mom’s place if his parents stay any longer and he yelled back saying “shut the f**k up,

you’re only acting up cause you don’t want my parents around! f**k’s wrong with you?” then walked out. I felt terrible thinking maybe I was rude to his mom but I also think that I’d hit my limits here. AITA for not asking her nicely like my husband wanted?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

looseylucy11 −  NTA. Pack your gear and take baby to your parents. Re think your relationship as well, who the hell speaks to their wife like that especially after having baby. Protect your mental/physical health at all cost.

redditor191389 −  NTA at all and I’m very alarmed at your husband calling you a whiney little girl for trying to feed your child. And then attempting to prevent him from being fed even when he was crying until you asked his mother nicely for permission to feed your own child. You seriously need to evaluate if this is a safe environment for your child to be raised in.

no_rxn −  I started crying and yelled that I’d go to my mom’s place. #DO THIS NOW. You are under such stress both emotionally and physically, I think having an actual loving, supportive environment is the best thing for both you and your child.

Take your child, go to your mom, and actually see how you’re supposed to be treated by someone who actually loves you. Your husband is an abusive a**hole. **Please, for the sake of your child, don’t let that become the norm of their life.**. NTA

_maliboo_ −  “Showing your son more love than you do” well maybe because the monster in law is hogging the baby. She’s doing more harm than good and obviously doesn’t love that baby as much as he thinks if she can sit there and hear them cry because they’re hungry. NTA but please get out before anything happens, they sound super toxic. I hope all goes well, stay safe OP 💕

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Pack up and take your baby to your moms. Oh and file for divorce cause this guy is a straight up abuser. Yikes.

Agitated_Net3736 −  Divorce him.

Mendicant_666 −  NTA. Find a safe place to get away. Can you go to your parents’ house?

Wonderful-Mission908 −  NTA. WTF is wrong with your husband?

spikeymist −  NTA, head over to r/JUSTNOMIL your husband should be on your side and not his mother’s. If it were me I would go and stay with family or friends until your MIL has gone and your husband wakes up to what he is doing to you.

OppositeStrawberry36 −  NTA….please please please take that baby and go to your moms. The way your husband spoke to you and failed to have your back is in no way an acceptable way for him to behave.

Do you think the user was justified in asserting herself to feed her baby, or should she have handled the situation differently to avoid conflict? How would you navigate boundaries with in-laws in such an emotionally charged situation? Share your thoughts below!