AITA for not asking my grandparents to include the other kids in my house when we visit the water park?

A Reddit user shared a story about being pressured by his mom to invite his step-siblings and other children who live with him to a day at the water park with his grandparents, who wanted to spend time with only him.

The user’s mom, remarried after his dad passed away, took in her husband’s children as well as kids of family and friends, leading to a house full of younger siblings.

When his grandparents offered him a special day out, his mom insisted he invite the others, mentioning she could help with supervision, but he prefers the day to be exclusively with his grandparents.

Now, his mom and stepdad are upset, calling him selfish for not wanting to include the rest of the family in this outing. Read the full story below…

‘ AITA for not asking my grandparents to include the other kids in my house when we visit the water park?’

I (16M) have a really crazy house because my mom remarried after my dad died. Her husband already had two kids when they met who are now 12 and 11. Her husband’s best friend went to jail 18 months after my mom got married to her husband and they took in his best friends kids who are now 8 and 6.

Then her husband’s sister died and she had a a kid now 5 who also came to live here. So in total there are 6 kids (including me) in the house and two adults. My dad’s parents see me a few times a year.

My mom doesn’t let me see them too often because she’s worried the other kids will feel left out, especially because my grandparents don’t automatically include them or send them gifts and stuff.

About a week ago they told me they were planning to take me to this water park that got renovated about 2 hours away from where I live. They said we could make a day of it and mom already gave them permission to take me for the whole day.

Mom was listening to my conversation with them and right after the call ended she asked me if that was the place the other kids had wanted to visit. I told her I wasn’t sure but probably since everyone was talking about it at school.

My mom made a noise and then a few hours later she told me she had talked to her husband and they wanted me to ask my grandparents to include the other kids that day.

She said they could never afford something like that but my grandparents can and she’s happy to pay to come along and be an extra set of hands. But she feels like they should be willing to include all the kids this once because it’s something so popular and exciting.

I told mom I didn’t want them to come with us and I wanted to spend time with my grandparents. She told me I needed to ask because they would never say yes to her but if they think I want them there it’ll convince them.

She gave me a few days to ask and I didn’t and then her husband brought himself into the conversation and the two of them have reprimanded me for being s**fish and for being greedy.

They said I have the chance to do something kind and wonderful for my “siblings” and it’s not like mom isn’t willing to come so she can help. But I need to accept that I have the only grandparents in this family and that means I should be encouraging more of an inclusive dynamic between us all.

My mom told me she might not be able to say no to it but she can remind me that I’m already not the best oldest brother in the world and one day I might actually think of them as siblings and regret not trying to make them happier.. AITA?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

RoyallyOakie −  NTA…it’s THEY who need to a accept that you have grandparents and not rob YOU of the enjoyment of that relationship. It’s they who aren’t being the best parents by placing these responsibilities on you.

LouisV25 −  NTA. You don’t owe those kids a big brother or grandparents. It’s sad that your Mom married a man that d**g in all of those children and your Mom thinks their needs are more important than yours.

It’s sad that your Mom fails to realize the importance of quality time with your paternal family. Hold on to the living representation of your father. Enjoy the time you have with them.

Please talk to your grandparents so: 1) You can live with them at 18. 2) Tell them if they plan on you inheriting anything, put it in a trust so your Mom can’t spend it on all the kids she didn’t birth.

Ill_Visual6292 −  Nta
but she can remind me that I’m already not the best oldest brother in the world. But you’re not an older brother, you’re an only child.

Dominique-Gleeful −  Nta none of these kids are even related to you,  let alone your grandparents. It’s not the grandparents obligation to do anything for these random kids

throwawee1234 −  Next time, dont share the plans with your parents…. i feel sorry for your grandparents. Its very nice of your mother to take care of all these kids, but that is her choice.

She can not decide or have others manipulate others to have her way. You know that if you take 3 kids in extra your budget for fun stuff will shrink. But that is not the responsibillity of any other third party.

mdthomas −  If your mother wants to ask your grandparents to include others, SHE should do the asking, not you. She wants you to ask so it will seem like your idea.. NTA

ThreeDogs2022 −  NTA, kiddo. Please tell your grands what’s going on at home. Your step father is a b**ly, and your mother is actively being a bad mother to you.

MerlinBiggs −  NTA. You want quality time with your grandparents. They want time with you, not other people grandkids. Your mum and husband are the s**fish ones.

Cursd818 −  NTA – Tell your mother that in less than two years, you will be able to escape from her household. She is an *awful* parent for trying to manipulate and b**ly you in this way. Those other children are NOT your siblings, and your grandparents owe them nothing.

Her and her husband’s greed is despicable. At 16, you also have a say in where you live and who you see. If you want to see your grandparents more, your mother can’t stop you.

If she called the police, they wouldn’t force you to go anywhere, and a court would listen if you said you wanted to spend more time with your grandparents. Just something to consider.

maleficentwasright −  Info: where is all the other kids bio family? Friends kids and husbands nephew all have another parent or bio family? Same with husbands kids, do they not have a maternal family? If so why aren’t they taking time with the kids?

It’s not your fault your mum & her husband took in 3 kids and your time with your grandparents, who are in no way related to them (or even you) should be over run by them. If also not your fault that you are the only child at home with involved grandparents.

Your mum and dad also have family, so why aren’t they pressuring them? It’s more than e**itled to think that your dad’s parents should pay for an additional **SIX** people. First it’s the trip, then what next?

They saved for your future and your expected to split that too? They need to come to terms and make peace with the fact that you dont feel any type of family relationship with the kids, aren’t obligated to share time with your grandparents with them.

Your grandparents don’t have to be involved with the other kids (especially as contact with you has been limited) and that you’ll get different opportunities and experiences in life.. NTA.

What do you think—is the user justified in wanting alone time with his grandparents, or should he share the experience with his younger siblings? How would you handle family expectations in this situation? Share your thoughts below!