AITA for not allowing a family come over for Thanksgiving?
A Reddit user shares their dilemma after declining their mother’s demand to host a family from church for Thanksgiving or give away their turkey. While the user wanted a quiet holiday alone, the refusal sparked an argument and left them questioning if they should have compromised. Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for not allowing a family come over for Thanksgiving? ‘
So I, (30F) had plans changed when my boyfriend couldn’t visit this thanksgiving. My brother (27M) plans to have his dinner with my mother (50F) and her family so I am going to spend it alone. The issue arose when my mother called me and demanded (yes, demanded!)
I invite a family from her church to spend thanksgiving at my house. I naturally said no, and then she asked me to give them my turkey and I said no again. It went back and forth until she snapped that I am a selfish witch and my turkey isn’t even good.
Before I could explain that I wasn’t comfortable with strangers at my house, she hanged up on me and won’t answer my calls. I don’t think I’m the j**k, but I do feel a bit guilty? Like maybe I could have offered to give her church friends at least 100 dollars?
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
CivilAsAnOrang − NTA. I mean, why is your mother carping at you on Thanksgiving? If I had to guess, she selfishly wants to brag about what a good person she is by giving away your turkey. Pretty childish and selfish behavior.
Eat your turkey. Also, don’t “explain” to your mother things that don’t need to be explained. You did not need to justify not inviting random people to your house or why you don’t want to host a turkey charity party.
jaywearsblack − NTA. Why does she not invite them over to her Thanksgiving?
GuyFromLI747 − NTA .. you don’t have to let anyone into your home especially from your mothers church .. she didnt buy your turkey so she can stfu about that too.. i was having a discussion with my sister about thanksgiving today..
I’ve lived alone most my adult life and wouldn’t give it up for anything.. she was telling me she started drinking champagne for breakfast today as her idgaf anymore with tradition..
we talked about how it feels great to be free to do whatever we want and if we choose to have people over or follow traditions that’s cool, but it’s also cool that we don’t have to follow a tradition.. and if you really think about thanksgiving, the pilgrims came here to escape religion and tradition and start their own, so why can’t we?
KaetzenOrkester − She already promised them, didn’t she?. NTA.
CandylandCanada − NTA. You teach people how to treat you. Your mother won because you are stewing about this. Next time, say “Mom, you are being ridiculous. I am an adult who does not need you to tell me how to act. I will not tolerate you calling me names because I won’t do what \*you\* think is right.”
glamourcrow − She won’t answer your calls? Why in the world would you call her???. Your mom is insane.. NTA. You need boundaries.
PlayfulNaughtyMinx − NTA. First off, your turkey, your rules. If you wanted to spend Thanksgiving marathoning Netflix in your PJs, that’s your prerogative. It’s super weird that your mom not only tried to invite a random family over to your place but also went after your cooking skills when you said no?
Major red flags there. Honestly, throwing money at the situation isn’t necessary either. You’re allowed to set boundaries, especially when it comes to your living space and holiday plans. Maybe she’ll cool down after a bit, but stick to your guns. You’re definitely not the Thanksgiving Grinch she’s making you out to be.
NectarineAny4897 − Assuming this is real: Nope. NTA. No strangers are allowed in my home. Full stop.
Katiew84 − Umm no, definitely NTA. If your mom wanted these people to have a turkey so bad why didn’t she give them hers? This is bizarre to me. Your mom wanted her own child not to eat on Thanksgiving.
You owe these church people nothing. No food and no money. Their church likely gave free turkeys or meals away. Most churches do. Why didn’t they take advantage of that…?
Queen_Sized_Beauty − NTA “My son and I are having Thanksgiving together, but my daughter lives nearby and will be alone, so *she* can help you.” This is not the flex she thinks it is.
She just told these people that she’s not spending the day with *her daughter*, knows you’ll be alone even though you live close enough to her that you *could* spend the day together, and that while she’s not interested in sharing a meal with them (or you), that she’s volunteering you to help people that you don’t even know.
Was it wrong for the user to prioritize their comfort over their mother’s request, or were they justified in setting boundaries? How would you handle pressure to accommodate others during the holidays? Share your thoughts below!