AITA for not acting happy when my wife saw me on our morning commute?

A Redditor shared an incident from his morning commute, where he encountered his wife on the freeway as she sped up beside him, smiling and waving to say hello. Already feeling annoyed at the unexpected move and focused on making his exit, he didn’t wave back or acknowledge her.

Later, his wife told him she was genuinely hurt by his lack of reaction, hoping he’d be happy to see her. Now, they’re at odds over the incident, leaving him to question whether he’s in the wrong for not responding to her gesture on a busy freeway. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for not acting happy when my wife saw me on our morning commute?’

So I (31M) was driving to work this morning and I’m getting close to my exit. I’m driving along in the middle lane, pass this slower car in the right lane and I’m about to switch lanes when the car in the right lane suddenly speeds up, blocking my access to that lane.

Automatically, I’m annoyed and I look over to see what the hell is wrong with that driver. Turns out it’s my wife (30F) and she’s smiling and waving, happy to see me on her way to work. I don’t wave back or smile – keep in mind I’m already annoyed at the driver speeding up to block my way, trying to make my exit and caught by surprise to see my wife.

My wife sends me a message when she gets to work saying she was sad I didn’t wave back, but I figured she was joking and forgot about it. Later tonight, she brought it up and we ended up having a mini-argument over it. Turns out her feelings were actually hurt by me not acting happy to see her.

From my point of view, I was kind of annoyed because I could have missed my exit or worse, gotten in an accident. I just don’t think the freeway at 7 am is the place to do that. From her point of view, she was trying to make a connection and show love and I didn’t recipropate that. AITA for not waving back to my wife on the freeway when I was trying to change lanes and make my exit?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

comeholdme −  YTA but not for being caught off guard — but rather for initially ignoring her when she said she was sad. She made two bids for your attention that morning, and both were ignored/rebuffed.

OpportunityProof8197 −  YTA – we need to cherish our wives man. Life is short. You have a built in best friend and lover who supports you and loves you. This is a rarity.

I know how frustrating the daily commute is, but you can’t let those inconsiderate and e**itled drivers bother you. It isn’t worth it. Try to make everyday count and share that with your wife. There’s too much hate in the world. Combat it by prioritizing her and making her happy.

BrutalBlonde82 −  YTA because instead of reasurring your wife that you even LIKE her, you decided to argue with her about your god-given right to straight up ignore her whenever you’re grumpy at traffic.

Also, you’re a s**tty driver who tried to hurry up and pass someone right before your exit, and then you’re all pissy traffic doesn’t move out of YOUR way fast enough.

whatgoes0n −  Honestly I would’ve called my hubby right away and been like why you driving like an ahole?! Edit: if I was the OP and my hubby did this to me then I would call him asap to be like wtf. Honestly, I would’ve given him a look like what are you doing?! She was being dangerous for sure but it’s a ridiculous reason to be fighting imo

Circle_K_Hole −  YTA… You didn’t recognize your wife *or* her license plate? Somebody is happy to see you, and your priority is driving aggressively… Sounds pretty AH to me.

emoaa −  These initial comments are wild lol. NTA because not only was this unsafe, it’s inconsiderate. And then to be actually upset about it is wild. Maybe try “I’m always happy to see you but I was distracted, paying attention to the road, as you should have been.

In the future, just text me you saw me on the drive and bid me a good day at work. Then I can reply with all the loveliness you need.”. But truly NTA.

nscapg −  What is with all the Y T A????? No, he’s not. She could have caused a MAJOR accident, injuring or killing not only him or her but others! The freeway is NOT The place to make cute romantic gestures in SEPRATE cars, going speeds over 70mph. Distracted driving is a thing, and cars going that fast are harder to control.

Had he started to move over, and then she sped up, perking the wheel to avoid hitting her would have caused him to veer into the other lane, probably roll his car, OR he could have just hit her, causing both of them to be in an accident. This was a dumb idea and she should NOT be b**t hurt he didn’t wave because she was irresponsible.. NTA

Critical_Gap_7026 −  All the Y T As are baffling to me. He was trying to CHANGE LANES and she SPED UP AND BLOCKED HIS PATH. That is so incredibly dangerous!! He could have hit her or swerved and hit someone else.

I’m going NAH, but you definitely should have a talk with her about this. Make it clear that it’s not the fact that she wanted to show some affection, it’s where and when she did it.

eewwppl −  NTA in my opinion. There’s enough bad drivers on the road and specially getting on an off the highway you have to be on alert. But with that being said in a way you did s**ew up by atleast not acknowledging the situation once you realized it was your wife.

You could have taken a few minutes once you made it to work and sent her a quick message. “hey honey sorry for ect ect. I didn’t wave back because I was concerned about ect ect situation, don’t take it personally if I didn’t seem excited to see you. hope you have a great work day blah blah blah. Can’t wait to see you this afternoon love you.”

This might have given her more of an understanding of the situation, and could’ve potentially eliminated any arguments from her confusion all day. Communication is key. Even for the smallest things that might not seem like a big deal to you.

[Reddit User] −  I know everyone is shitting on you here but honestly I completely get where you’re coming from. That’s dangerous behavior. It would be different if you had been at a stoplight sitting still or something.You should still go tell your wife you’re sorry though, of course she’s unhappy you weren’t happy to see her.

Do you think the Redditor should have taken a moment to wave back, or was his focus on the road more important in that moment? How would you balance road safety and spontaneous gestures on a busy commute? Share your opinions below!