AITA for no longer visiting my boyfriend’s family after they sold their car?

A Redditor shared their frustration after their boyfriend’s parents sold a van they had agreed to buy, leaving them without a reliable vehicle in harsh winter conditions. Despite offering to pay extra, the sale was canceled without any warning. Since then, the Redditor has distanced themselves from the boyfriend’s family, but their boyfriend is becoming upset. Read the full story below to see how things unfolded!

‘ AITA for no longer visiting my boyfriend’s family after they sold their car?’

So I(23f) came from the foster system. When I was out, I had no financial resources and had to buy the only vehicle I could to survive. We live in a region where winter is harsh. My vehicle doesn’t do well in this weather, and to make matters worse, the heater and defroster have stopped working.

My boyfriend of 4 years lives with his parents, and they were selling their van. I asked if I could purchase it, even threw in a little more above asking price. They said sure. So I’ve worked hard these past 2 weeks to pay in full, only to arrive the morning we scheduled for the exchange and find they sold it the night before. Pretty much just shrugged off what we discussed.

I thought his parents like me, but needless to say, that’s not the case. I’ve been upset since now I don’t know what to do. My vehicle won’t last another winter. They knew the situation. They didn’t care. It’s not really selling the car to someone else that sucks, it’s the disrespect. Since then I don’t go over there. I don’t want to. My boyfriend said I’m invited to Xmas but I told him I’d rather celebrate with my cats.

He’s getting annoyed, I can tell. I don’t want this to impact our relationship. I don’t want to be petty. I just know through this event I’m not welcome.. AITA?

See what others had to share with OP:

VegetableBusiness897 −  Please. Get yourself another bf for Christmas…

BeginningParfait7599 −  No. Perfectly good reason to be upset. I wouldn’t go either.

FoxySlyOldStoatyFox −  The good news: You’re NTA.  The bad news: This – *I don’t want this to impact our relationship* – won’t happen. It’s line saying “I hope that my food won’t be burnt” after leaving your burger and chips in the oven for eight hours.

Your boyfriend knows that his parents screwed you over. And sure, for a while he sympathised. But now he’s bored of being sympathetic. It’s a huge problem for you but he’s boooooored so you should just accept that they don’t like you and also slightly despise you.

Tell him you’ll come to Christmas. Then phone up on the morning of the 25th to say your car won’t start. Radio silence for a day or so. Then send a text to say that you being left to spend Christmas alone, as a direct result of his parents being selfish arseholes, has thrown your future into sharp focus and the relationship is over.

PleaseCoffeeMe −  NTA. However buying a car from friends or family members can be its own kind of hell. If anything goes wrong with the car, you would resent them and/or they will resent you. They disrespected you…should have been upfront and told you they didn’t want to sell to you. Now they are trying to gloss it over. Reevaluate your relationship with this family. This is an indication of how they will treat you in the future. There is a better car out there waiting for you.

Caspian4136 −  NTA. That’s really s**tty what they did, as I’m assuming they knew you’re in a tough spot with your current vehicle. Then to just shrug it off like it’s not a big deal? Did they even give a reason why they sold it to someone else??

Miss_Melody_Pond −  He’s getting annoyed at you because his parents fucked you over? Sounds like a great guy.

prettyymelons −  NTA. The way they handled the car sale was disrespectful, especially given your situation. It’s okay to distance yourself if you’re feeling unwelcome, but try to talk to your boyfriend about how this has affected you to avoid straining your relationship.

Ok-Try-857 −  NTA. I’m sorry they did that to you. I don’t think I’d be able to stay with someone who didn’t at least call and tell me that their parents already sold the car so I wouldn’t waste a trip. Also the fact that he didn’t demand an apology to me would make me view him differently. 

If you haven’t asked him about these 2 things directly, then you should. And don’t accept a b**lshit or gas lighting response. If he won’t give you that, then ask him how you’re supposed to trust him if he can’t even give you the courtesy of a heads up to save you from humiliation, disrespect and pain you had to to swallow. 

I think this is about your boyfriend, not his family. You have to teach people how to treat you. Telling him how you expect to be treated and asking if he is capable of it would be a good conversation to have. 

BeadBrains −  NTA. Can you trade in a slightly used ( and totally spineless) boyfriend for a newer car?

MutedEntertainer3590 −  Nta but sorry your relationship is over.