A man, recently moved into a small apartment complex, is confronted by his neighbors about their unspoken agreement to keep the hallway door unlocked at all times. After explaining his concerns about safety in their dangerous neighborhood, he declines to lend his key for copying, causing tension between him and the long-term residents.
The neighbors have since been distant, leading him to worry that he may have upset them and created bad blood.
‘ AITA for no allowing my neighbors to make a copy of my apartment key?’
So I recently just moved into my new apartment complex less than 60 days ago. There are only 4 units in my complex, two downstairs and two upstairs. I reside downstairs in the second apartment. Everyone here has lived here for at least 5 years whilst the oldest resident has reside here for 8.
Everyone knows everyone and has been good friends with each other for as long as each one has been a resident. Everyone in my building has children besides me majority are single mothers, I am the only man.
Apparently there is an unspoken agreement I at first had any knowledge of between the rest of the tenants that the hallway door is to never be locked. No one ever locks the hallway door. That is until I arrived. From my knowledge no one in the building has a hallway key just the keys to their apartments.
The cost to replace a key is $70 for each quoted from my landlord. I just finished up my place and have officially moved in for about 3 weeks now. Each time I leave and come back from my complex I always lock the hallway door. It’s always been a hit to lock all doors behind me.
My neighbor that works night shifts has arrived home for the past couple of weeks to a locked hallway door which is a surprise given that the door hasn’t been locked for years. Apparently everyone lost their key their first year or so living in the complex. I will hear continuously knocking and banging until someone comes to open the door.
The first few nights I was awaken and got up to unlock the door. After the first week I’ve since stopped and my neighbor will be up to unlock it to let our neighbor in. If my neighbor isn’t home or doesn’t wake up to come to the door she will knock and bang on every window and yell until someone comes open the door.
Yesterday my neighbor ask I I could pleaseleave the door unlocked given it has always been that way and would like me to continue doing so. I expressed that while we live in a dangerous neighborhood ( rated one of the top 5 most dangerous in our city) Is feel more safe knowing strangers can’t enter the building.
Whilst she understood my concerns she assured me no one ever comes here but residents and invited visitors and my safety is not to worry. I had to beg to differ. She then asks would I mind lending her my hall key so she can make a copy and let other make their own copy from hers.
I politely declined because I wasn’t comfortable with that. She offered to pay me to make a copy myself in which I also declined. For the past week my neighbors has barely spoken to me we usually tell each other good morning and chat a little or just a hi and bye even but not even that nowadays.
My neighbor whom volunteers at the food bank in our community would come back with goodies and share with everyone in the complex. She has since knocked on my door to deliver me a box as she usually would every Wednesday.
I don’t care for the food but for the change in this routine leads me to believe I may have upset the rest of the tenants and I honestly don’t want any bad blood.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
So my understanding is this is a communal hallway leading to individual apartment entrances? And the doors to individual apartments can be locked? I don’t understand why you wouldn’t let them copy your hallway key if that’s the case tbh. It costs like $3-5 . Barring clarification, YTA
If they pay you for a copy, then I don’t really see your issue anymore. It’s $70 for the landlord to do it, so it would be cheaper if you did it for everyone. If you want that community and connection then you have to give a little to get a little back.. YtA
Wtf? YTA. Yeah you caused bad blood. You declined every solution proposed. Just get the key copied and have them pay you. It costs a few dollars and the goodwill will mean you don’t have beef with your neighbours. Or just be an AH but don’t whine about it and wonder what went wrong.
YTA you’re probably making it more dangerous for your neighbors by locking them outside the building
100% yta on multiple occasions…..bro either you give them copies of the key or u stop locking it makes more sense to mke a copy ..
YTA. She made a reasonable request so that she and the others could accommodate your wishes and you said no. Yes, they have a preference to leave the door unlocked, but they will lock it for you as long as they can also return to their homes.
They have already agreed to allow your comfort zone of having the door locked. Why on Earth would you be uncomfortable about letting them have keys to the door that you share? You have said that they could get new ones from the landlord but they would be $70 a piece. For some people that’s a lot of money.
Your comfort is not the final deciding factor in all matters of shared safety and justice. Get over yourself and make a copy of your key for her.
So, you want them to spend $70 to get replacement keys when you could get them for a few bucks a piece? Why? I mean hey, technically you’re e**titled to do that, but don’t be surprised when your neighbors turn down any request you make in the future or ignore your pleas for help when you forget your key or need someone to sign for a package.YTA
Edit – Dude hasn’t left a single comment. No clarifications on if the key says “do not copy,” or his reasoning why he doesn’t want to make copies, nothing… I’m starting to think we’ve been duped, y’all.
Wow, she even offered to pay you to have a copy made yourself since you were too afraid to let her borrow it to get a copy? And you refused? Yeah, you wouldn’t be on my list to say good morning to either. YTA.
YTA. Look, I get it. You are following the rules and they aren’t. They should not have lost their keys and when they did, they should have replaced them instead of compromising the security of everyone living in the building.
But $70 is a lot of money for some people. And if these are all single moms, then they are single income families and they just might not have $70 to spare. You are upsetting all of your neighbors to prove a point. And your sleep gets disturbed frequently by people who are just trying to get get into their homes and go to sleep.
And your taking a stand on the matter isn’t working. Have a tiny bit of compassion. Take your key and find out how much it costs to get it copied. Landlords frequently inflate the cost of replacement keys so that people will keep track of them and not bother the landlord for copies.
If it is a regular key, just get copies made and inform your neighbors they can have the keys if they pay for them. Feel free to add a bit to the cost to cover your time and effort in getting the keys made. Problem solved.
If the keys cannot be copied or are super expensive, suggest to one of the other tenants that the cheapest way for them all to get keys is for someone to figure out a way to get the landlord to replace the lock in the hallway door. Then everyone will get new keys.
But while your locking the door protects everyone in the apartments, it puts those who are not home at that time in more danger than if the hall door were just unlocked.
YTA. You are deliberately locking out your neighbours and wondering why they’re mad at you? She’s given you three different solutions to the problem that you’ve declined. I don’t understand why you want to make your living situation so uncomfortable
Is the man justified in prioritizing his safety and refusing to share his key, or has he crossed a line by not adhering to the established community norm? What do you think?