AITA for never helping my siblings with their kids at family events

A woman in her late 20s, who is childfree, faces backlash from her siblings for refusing to help with childcare during family events. With 14 nieces and nephews, including her sister’s six kids, she prefers to spend quality time with her aging parents rather than babysitting.

Despite being pressured to assist with various tasks like changing diapers and feeding babies, she firmly declines, expressing that her siblings’ choices are their responsibility. While her husband and dad support her stance, her siblings and mother argue that it’s her duty as a sibling to help.

AITA for never helping my siblings with their kids at family events

‘ AITA for never helping my siblings with their kids at family events’

My husband (late 20s) are both childfree, and have multiple siblings each. I have three older siblings, my sister, brother 1, and brother 2. I have a grand total of 14 nieces and nephews, which is a lot I know. My sister has 6 kids and is a single parent.My parents like to host family events and invite all of the kids/grandkids.

They’re old, and I’m cherishing the remaining time I have with them. I don’t want to skip these holidays because I don’t know how many I’ll have left with them.
Recently at the 4th of July thing my parents threw my siblings went off on me because I never help with their kids. Quite frankly, I don’t like almost any of their kids.

The two I like are old enough that they don’t need me for anything. Changing diapers, feeding babies, and chasing toddlers has no appeal to me, and I don’t like my siblings enough to want to spend my holiday babysitting. I just want to spend time with my parents.

As soon as I got there both my sister and brother 2 were asking me to change diapers, which they know I won’t do. Then I’m being asked to help feed babies, which I say no to. Them I’m asked to help change a toddler that emptied a ketchup bottle on himself. I say no again.

They know I have no intentions on child managing, so I don’t know why they even ask.My sisters kids were crying, and then she started crying and yelling at me. I told them if I wanted to take care of kids I’d have some, and if she wanted breaks six kids with six different deadbeat men was a bad idea.

My dad and my husband are both on my side, whereas my mom and siblings all think it’s my responsibility as a sibling to help. My siblings never help me with anything, like ever. They wouldn’t help me move, wouldn’t help me put up a fence when a hurricane took mine down, etc.

I feel like relationships are supposed to be give and take, and all they expect to do is take.AITA for never helping with childcare at family events?

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

winter_laurel ( Top 1 ) says

NTA You have no obligation or responsibility for their kids.

gramsknows ( Top 2 ) says

NTA you have no obligation to help. No is a complete sentence. Your there to see your parents not be free child care.

ConvivialKat ( Top 3 ) says

NTA. Of COURSE your siblings disagree. They are the ones hounding you to take care of their kids! They had them, and they are responsible for them. ALWAYS. You are not.
Stand your ground. Don’t give in even one time, or it will all be over with, and they will all be on you all the time. Have a nice cocktail, and enjoy the BBQ.

alicat777777 ( Top 4 ) says

NTA. I don’t understand why people have more kids than they can manage and then get mad when everyone doesn’t rally around and help.

butterfly-garden ( Top 5 ) says

NTA. You are helping them as much as they have helped you in the past.

pigandpom ( Top 6 ) says

NTA. Child free friends and family aren’t obligated to look after other people’s kids.

MNConcerto ( Top 7 ) says

NTA, not your kids not your responsibility. Just because you’re a female you have to help with the kids at family gatherings? Also your sister has to get on some birth control. Single and 6 kids, she’s now facing the consequences of her choices.

[deleted] ( Top 8 ) says

NTA, why on earth would you be changing diapers if their parents are there?

mrsgalvezghost ( Top 9 ) says

I have a cousin that would have said “I don’t want a crotch goblin of my own, what in hell would make you think I would want anything to do with yours.” I know she would say this – because she did. For me – it was extra but she was correct in the principle. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

yeahyeahyeah6661 ( Top 10 ) says

Nta. Truth be told yeah she shouldn’t be f**cking and getting Prego by different men if she ain’t willing to face the reality. There were options she choose the worst