AITA for my response to my sister’s boyfriend’s “brutal honesty”?

A Redditor (35F) shares a situation where her sister’s boyfriend, known for his “brutally honest” demeanor, made an uncomfortable comment about the Redditor’s infertility and age during her sister’s birthday celebration.

When he suggested that not having kids might be a good thing because women over 30 could have “defective” babies, the Redditor snapped back with a sarcastic remark: “Trust me, if I wanted an asshole’s opinion, I would’ve farted!” This comment caused laughter from the table but left her sister and her boyfriend stunned.

Later, her sister texted demanding an apology for ruining her birthday, and their mother agreed the Redditor should have ignored the comment. The Redditor now questions if she was in the wrong for her response.

‘ AITA for my response to my sister’s boyfriend’s “brutal honesty”?’

My F35 sister F27 started dating one of those “brutally honest” guys few months ago. He can be quite rude and make backhanded comments about me and the family sometimes which is bothersome but my sister says he’s not malicious but is just the brutally honest time and we should get used to it.

I visited my parents house to celebrate my sister’s birthday and my husband couldn’t come with me because he was busy, after the party we all sat down for dinner and my sister’s boyfriend said it was weird that my husband and I don’t have kids despite being married for 6 years now.

I was shocked that he brought this up but I gave a short answer stating that it’s because of infertility issues, he asked on which side and I didn’t wanna answer but my sister said it’s on my side.

I got uncomfortable as he looked at me for a second and said that maybe not having kids now is a good thing because he thought women over 30 might “produce” defective babies due to age. I told him it was none of his business but he said that he was just giving his “honest opinion” and that’s all.

I, in return, told him while maintaining eye contact: “trust me, if I wanted an a**hole’s opinion, I would’ve farted!”. Literally everyone at the table bursted into laughter and my sister and her boyfriend were stunned.

Few seconds later her boyfriend excused himself out and my sister followed then sent me a text after they left saying I was mean and disrespectful towards her boyfriend and insulted him maliciously just cause he stated his honest opinion.

She also said I ruined her birthday by being petty and making her boyfriend the joke of the night infront of the family. I didn’t respond but she demanded an apology via mail as soon as possible, mom agreed that I shouldn’t have said what I said and should’ve just ignored him knowing how he is.. I think AITA but I’m not sure.

See what others had to share with OP:

Rowanever −  Repeat after me: *He should’ve just ignored me. He knows what I’m like. I’m older than him; I can’t change now. I am who I am. I was just being honest. Seriously, that’s my opinion of his conversation.*

What’s that? Those excuses are toxic b**lshit, mum? Cool cool. Good to know you won’t be putting up with anyone’s crap from now on.. NTA.

Slow-Bumblebee-8609 −  NTA. Brutally honest is a synonym for a**hole. “**Brutally” is not a nice adjective, it means** ***s**age and violent way.*** If he identifies himself by that, that says a lot about him

Also, I’m surprised he is offended at being called an a**hole, considering that what he said is the equivalent to verbal diarrhea.. ​ Edit: thanks for the cute seal awards! Love their little round faces

Impossible_Balance11 −  NTA, but Sister is also TA for volunteering OP’s private medical information when BF so rudely asked the intrusive “Whose side?” question.

No-Recognition3929 −  NTA but that is the PERFECT response and I will be squirreling that one away for myself lol. “Just being honest” is often a very, very toxic way that assholes try to make their victims seem like the overly sensitive one when they get upset.

Being honest would have been him giving you a straight answer if you asked his opinion. NOT shoving his unwanted, unsolicited advice at you.

Lanersofcork −  NTA – what makes his brutal honesty superior to yours? People use the phrase “I’m just being honest” as an excuse for having poor social manners. Just because you’re giving your honest opinion, doesn’t mean you’re free from consequences of that opinion.

the-mirrors-truth −  NTA. He’s a j**k, plain and simple. He’s absolutely malicious and your sister is dumb enough to fall for his innocent act. Besides, no one asked him for his opinion but he still went and shared a very hurtful and untrue comment. He can’t take what he dishes out. How pathetic.

[Reddit User] −  ‘Funny’, isn’t it, how these people can dish it out all day long but can’t take any of their own medicine… NTA but the sisters boyfriend is TA. Not sure yet about the sister.

aniacret −  NTA he is an insensitive m**on and nobody asked his opinion. Also you didn’t do anything wrong, you were *just brutally honest* with him. He should be happy someone can speak as honestly as he does.

chickenlipsdribble −  Be right back with my vote as I first have to go tell my 13 year old as I was over 30 when he was born that he’s defective……. Also NTA

apxlcm −  NTA – who asks questions about fertility (particularly after knowing someone for only a few months, let alone at all). He was clearly being an ass and could tell you were uncomfortable,

your sister is also an ass for providing addition info to this guy therefore continuing the conversation rather than shutting it down. Maybe after being the b**t of the joke he will learn to read the room next time.

Was the Redditor’s response justified, considering the insensitivity of her sister’s boyfriend, or did she go too far with her sarcastic remark? How would you have handled such a rude comment at a family gathering? Share your thoughts below!