AITA for my reaction when I learned that my fiance returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom picked for me?

A bride-to-be found herself in a shocking situation when her fiancé returned her wedding dress and replaced it with one chosen by his mom. He justified his actions by saying that his mom had a “vision” for the wedding, and it wasn’t fair for the bride to dismiss it. Furious, the bride left to stay with a friend after an explosive argument. Her fiancé now accuses her of overreacting, but she’s left questioning whether she was out of line. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for my reaction when I learned that my fiance returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom picked for me?’

My fiance M33, and I F28 are getting married in december. His mom is the intrusive type but she’s nice overall and we….somewhat get along. I hate to admit that wedding planning has been an absolute nightmare. His mom wasn’t willing to agree on most things, and my fiance said that since he’s her only son then I should respect and appreciate this “vision” she has for the wedding and how it should be.

She insisted to come along for wedding dress shopping. I took her with me and my mom and friends. I was so lucky to have found what I was looking for. but she picked a dress that she liked so much and said that “she always pictured her son’s bride in it” mom and friends thought this line was creepy.

I thought the dress was somewhat creepy and toooootally not my type. I apologized and thanked her for her “vision” but told her that I’d already decided on a dress that I had “envisioned” myself wearing at my wedding!.

She got all pissy because of it apparently, then must’ve told my fiance because, he came home in the evening ranting about how I made his mom upset and “turned down” her help in choosing the wedding dress and excluded her from the process.

I asked “what process?” duh it’s just a wedding dress…my wedding dress so I really didn’t get how she should get a say at all!. He got upset and said that this attitude of mine isn’t working on him or his mom. He said that I should consider the dress his mom wanted me to buy especially knowing that “both dresses weren’t that much different anyway” like she said but I told him yes they were different…like so much different.

Anyways, We argued about it then we dropped it. Yesterday I came home and found out that he had returned my wedding dress and replaced it with the one his mom wanted. I called him and he was straightforward about what he did and why he did it. I lost it and started screaming at him.

He asked me to calmn down and really give this dress “a chance”. I refused to even listen I screamed at him without giving him a chance to speak. He got home and we had an argument.

I then went to stay with one of my friends and he kept calling and calling then texting saying that I overreacted and it’s his wedding too so it wasn’t cool how I screamed at him. He insisted I give this dress a chance. He went on and on about how his mom has a “vision” and good intentions and just wants what best for me as her future daughter inlaw.

Mom is livid and has been wanting to go scream at him and his mom but my dad said that this isn’t worth ruining my relationship with my inlaws. He suggested I wisen up and “go with the flow” but is it too much for me to be able to pick my own wedding dress without being guilted about it just to keep the peace?. AITA for my reaction?.

ETD Q & As

I’m editing in some answers to frequent questions I get.

A. The dress she picked wasn’t all too crazy but just wasn’t my type.

B. This issue started during wedding planning and there were other things…like way too many things we didn’t agree on. but this “vision” has been there for…quite a while.

C. I AM paying for the dress obviously.

D. My fiance’s dad is deceased. also, his mom suffered from multiple health conditions. Has no daughters but one only son..

E. He’s still presisting…

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

CaptainPatent −  Hand him the ring back… Say “I hope you get the wedding you and your mom have always hoped for.”. Walk away.. NTA

[Reddit User] −  NTA. It’s good that this is happening now. This is not a dynamic that is going to change with either your fiancé or his mother. RUN.

alisong89 −  NTA. Maybe his mum could wear it to the wedding and stand in for you.

[Reddit User] −  NTA, sane response: call off the wedding – comedy response: take his suit back and exchange it for a clown outfit

Peasplease25 −  NTA. Wise up and run a mile. Next step is picking your honeymoon and coming along. Run, run, run, run and then run some more. Also, your Dad is being ridiculous too.

JoshDunkley −  Do you plan on having kids? Now imagine your MIL disagreeing with something you want to do for those children, and how your mommas boy fiancé will side with her instead of you. NTA. Im sorry, but leave while you can.

Prudent_Border5060 −  Nta. WTH did I just read?! I have no idea why you want to marry this man. He clearly has one woman he hold above everyone. And guess what that’s not you.

I am shocked at the audacity of his mother. And even more so of his behavior. Please do some soul searching. And looking at his past behavior if he has done somethings similar. Just imagine if you have kids. Will she think it’s her experience?

oddpolyglot −  NTA and DO NOT, under any circumstance, MARRY THIS PERSON and his mother, because make no mistake, you’ll be marrying both if you go through with it as things stand. This has soooo many red flags, it’s not funny.

If you come second to mommy on something like this, a piece of clothing that *you will be wearing on the supposed most important day of your life*, imagine what comes after? And your future husband thinks it’s okay?! You are *not* overreacting, you’re *under-reacting* because the wedding needs to be cancelled pronto. Seriously.

Doesn’t this guy have friends, or other humans around him who aren’t mom? Surely anyone would tell him how creepy, controlling, disrespectful, a**sive and just plain *wrong* this actions were?!

IAmHerdingCatz −  NTA. But this isn’t really about a dress, is it? This is about boundaries and about a fiance who is already making it clear how you rate compared to his mom. Run far. Run fast. Don’t look back.

JBB2002902 −  Molly, you in danger girl. This will be the REST of your life!! She doesn’t like your choice of baby name? His mummy will be naming the child. She doesn’t like your decorating choices? Your house is getting repainted when you’re not there. He decides your cooking isn’t good enough? Mummy is moving in to take care of her precious boy.. Seriously…run!!

A wedding is supposed to be about the couple’s shared vision, not one dictated by an overbearing mother-in-law. Was the bride justified in her reaction, or should she have handled the situation differently? What would you do if your partner prioritized their parent’s wishes over yours for such a personal decision? Share your thoughts below!