AITA for my reaction to my wife giving our twin sons true crime-related names?
A Redditor found out that his wife, a true crime enthusiast, gave their twin sons names tied to a notorious case without his knowledge. While the names are common individually, their pairing raised eyebrows when a family member pointed it out. Now, he’s insisting on changing them, but his wife refuses, arguing it was a subconscious decision and changing them would only attract more attention. Read the story below for all the details.
‘ AITA for my reaction to my wife giving our twin sons true crime-related names?’
My wife has a slightly irritating true crime hobby. It’s one of those hobbies we keep separate from our relationship. For the most part, she’s normal about it and knows when to bring it up. I’m only reminded of it when she’s around another “aficionado.”
We had twins earlier this year. There were some negotiations about the names. I know at the end of the day, she’s the one doing the hard work and has the final say, but she was inclined to eccentric, potentially life-ruining names that I had to talk her out of.
One day she came to me with two surprisingly ordinary names. And named separately, no one would bat an eye at either one. In fact, no one batted an eye until recently. We were visiting family and she was showing off the kids when my sister-in-law (brother’s wife) took me aside and said “Are you serious? You named your twins after \*them?\*” I had no idea, I hadn’t made the connection until that moment.
When I got home, I confronted her and demanded we change the names. She said it was just coincidence and that maybe subconsciously, she paired the names, but the names are common, and changing them would be a hassle and draw even more attention to it in the first place.
I said we can simply explain we hadn’t made the connection at the time and decided to change it as soon as we realized. After all, my sister-in-law already said something! She won’t budge and I find it concerning. Am I wrong?.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Far_Quantity_6133 − NTA. Sure, Dylan and Eric are perfectly normal names, but the fact she wants to name them after the murderers makes them very weird. Why on earth would you want to honor mass shooters with your babies’ names??? No way in hell would I allow this.
Ok_Stable7501 − I work in education and I would be uneasy about a parent conference for parents who selected these names, not gonna lie. NTA
Kimchilover30 − Honestly I would lose respect for my spouse if they named my children after murderers. A hobby is one thing this is real life. Not a tv show she can’t separate from reality.
kelpieconundrum − I didn’t make the connection and had to look to the comments. I think it’s genuinely possible that lots of people won’t, that your wife was really just subconsciously pairing them together, and that most people who are not true crime “aficionados” (which, personally, I find extremely ghoulish but that’s a whole other thing) won’t automatically connect them.
There have been a lot of school shootings in the meantime, after all. But. People who know your wife’s interest might squint at it (case in point) and more importantly—**the names are tainted now**. Even if they were innocently chosen, everytime you pair them you’ll be thinking about a massacre. It’s odd that your wife doesn’t mind the association, and it’s unfair to your kids. Change at least one of their names, and better both.. NTA
Mystchelle − I asked my husband, who is not at all into true crime, “if someone named their kids Dylan and Eric, would that mean anything to you?” And he looked at me like I had sprouted a second head and asked why the F someone would name their kids after the columbine shooters.
I gave him no context other than the question. It’s likely that no one their age will make the connection but there are plenty of people around who will- including parents of their future friends
Witchyomnist1128 − INFO: What are the names?? Are they Jeffery and Dahmer? Unfortunately the names are very important for context here
Mauinfinity-0805 − Changing Eric to Derek would be an easy solution.
reluctantseahorse − I almost don’t believe you. Like, my brain can’t comprehend than anyone would do such a stupid thing. I read a story here some years ago about a woman naming her kid Charles Manson, and really thought nobody would make the connection. What?
This isn’t AITA territory. I’d say this is just about as sick as you can get when naming your kids. If this is real, you need to change their names asap. This isn’t just a “true crime” fandom thing. If you are blissfully unaware, I caution you to learn their biographies. They destroyed their families. Might as well name your kids Cain and Abel.
sweadle − Dylan and Eric? That’s cruel. Change the names even if it’s a hassle. Imagine your kids find out one day and look it up. Can you imagine being named after that?
jiliari − This is why I don’t f**k with people who are a little too into true crime.
Do you think the husband is justified in wanting to change the twins’ names, or is the wife right that the connection is minor and not worth the trouble? How would you handle this type of disagreement? Share your thoughts below!