AITA for moving out when my stepsister ruined my father’s day gift for my dad?

A 16-year-old Redditor shared that their stepsister ruined a Father’s Day gift they had carefully prepared in memory of their late father, leading to a heated argument. After the stepsister’s actions, the Redditor became overwhelmed and decided to move out, leaving their mother’s home to live with their uncle.

The Redditor’s family members are angry with their mother for not intervening sooner, and the mother feels unjustly shunned. Read the full story below to find out if the Redditor was right to move out over the gift destruction or if they overreacted.

‘ AITA for moving out when my stepsister ruined my father’s day gift for my dad?’

I f16 live with my mom, step dad, and stepsister (18) and stepbrother(20). I lost my dad to cancer when I was 13 years old. We were very close and his death was a major loss in my life.

I wasn’t able to keep much of his belongings because of my stepdad’s insecurities and lack of sympathy and respect for me and my dad. It’s sad to say that mom moved on relatively fast.

My stepsister and I share a room together (my step brother has the bigger room because he’s a “man”) and as a result me and my stepsister are always in conflict. She wants me out during the day as she uses the room as her art studio.

She recently accused me of stealing her tools and convinced her dad to get a lock so now I’m being forcefully locked out and can’t get in til after a huge argument and getting mom involved. My stepsister had an argument with her brother and ruined his gaming console when he was out. He came into the room quietly in the evening.

Stood by the door and asked me to bring him my stepsister’s acrylic paintset. I asked if he got permission he said yes so I gave it to him and went back to study. At dinner, my step sister came downstairs yelling that her brother had access to her room and ruined her paintset. There was a lot of yelling and arguing.

Step dad asked how my step brother walked into the room when it was supposed to be locked. My step brother “admitted” I helped him out and brought the paintset to hi. My stepsister went off on me, called an accomplice then ran upstairs and took the gift I prepared for my dad for father’s day.

(I picked up flowers I planted from our small garden that I take care of by myself. And prepared a nice wooden letter shaped pot ~used my dad’s first initial~ and filled it with the flowers I picked and decorated it with ribbons. It wasn’t that good but it was like a floral letter.

I planned to visit his grave and put the gift there) she damaged it to pieces. It was completely ruined. I yelled at her and kept crying. mom and stepdad gave her harsh punishment and thought it was fixable but I was so done I called my uncle who came and berated my mom and stepdad.

Stepdad offered to fix it and punish my stepdaughter harder but I packed my things to go with my uncle. My mom begged me to stay but I refused and didn’t respond when she kept calling saying she did nothing to deserve to be shunned by me and my uncle who told the family about what happened. The family told mom not to come visit on father’s day and are angry with her because I moved out over this. AITA?.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

naranghim −  NTA. Your mom failed you, she failed to take your feelings into account after your dad died, failed to stand up to her husband when he failed to respect you and your dad, failed to protect you from his daughter and her unreasonable demands.

The only thing both of them did right was punishing your stepsister for destroying the father’s day gift you made. That isn’t enough to make up for all of the other crap. If you stayed **I think your stepsister would have found some way to punish you for her getting in trouble for destroying the gift you made. ** Stay away if you can. Yes, your mother deserves to be in trouble with the rest of the family for everything that has happened to you.

AshesB77 −  NTA. Being locked out of your own room is unacceptable. While your step family is awful, it’s your mom who is the real AH. She should be advocating and standing up for you.

Being locked out and not getting to keep your dads stuff is completely on her. I’m sure she had no problem spending or getting your stepdad to agree to keep any SS benefit she gets for you for your dad having passed away.

PassengerOk6675 −  NTA I’m so sorry that you lost your dad and I’m sorry that you have an insensitive mom. If you can stay with your uncle, I would. Your mom has not considered your feelings regarding your father, and the fact that she does nothing about how your stepfather and step sister treat you is truly awful. Keep your distance.

[Reddit User] −  NTA that girl sounds absolutely horrible and needs some therapy. At least the mom and step dad were also angry at her, but holy crap. She’s 16, she knows what she did. She knows what this meant to you. She’s disgusting. Also, that step brother or whatever needs to get talked to as well.. NTA

Edit: just realized the sister is actually 18 and that’s even more horrible because holy crap, an adult acting like this is horrifying and she needs some therapy and a reality check

Capable_Ad_976 −  NTA- you have a very weak mother. You are better at standing up for yourself. Do not move back until she grows a spine (ie. involves the court and proves that she will always have your best interests).

Ciecie33 −  NTA – Absolutely NTA. You were living in an emotionally negative place, and thankfully you have your Uncle to help out. Mom should have stood up for you long before this. Sounds like your stepsister and stepbrother are both spoiled and need some maturing.

MedievalHag −  NTA. You are in a toxic situation that you need to get out of for your own sanity. If you had stayed stepsister would have taken it out on you because she was punished.

The fact that you were being locked out of your own bedroom is just crazy. Stay with uncle providing it’s a healthy atmosphere. Stepdad is insecure and you will never be treated as an equal there.

michaelscott1776 −  NTA. Why does this sound like the plot to Cinderella? Evil Step-dad with an Evil step brother and sister. Glad you got out of that situation and hope you can stay out if that situation. I’m sorry about what happened to your gift

daaaaanica −  NTA. Your (“immediate”) family sounds like they are all emotional leeches. I can’t believe that your mom just allowed her husband and his kids to push you around like this, so badly that you felt like you couldn’t live there anymore. I’m glad that your uncle and the rest of your family are decent people.

7thatsanope −  NTA. Your stepdad and step siblings all sound awful. Your mom is worse. You have almost nothing of your dads because her new husband doesn’t want any reminders of him around? That is complete BS. That alone should have been a deal breaker for her and should have kept her from marrying him in the first place.

Allowing him to lock you out of your own bedroom is another thing she never should have allowed to happen. Your stepsister getting in trouble for breaking your gift is the only thing either your mom or stepdad did that was right out of everything you said.

Your mom’s family is mad at her for good reason. **It isn’t your fault they are mad at her, it is her fault and only her fault.** They are mad at her because she is choosing to fail to do her job as your parent.

Stay with your uncle as long as necessary. There is no need to go back to your mom and stepdad’s house as long as they are going to treat you as they have been when you have a safe and healthy alternative with your uncle.

Do you think the Redditor’s decision to move out was justified, or should they have tried to resolve things differently with their family? How would you handle a situation where a family member destroyed something so meaningful to you? Share your thoughts in the comments below!