AITA for moving back out after my parents demanded I follow their rules?

A Reddit user (22M) shared that after finishing college, he moved back in with his parents to help them financially, as they were struggling due to the effects of COVID. However, shortly after moving in, his mother began imposing strict rules, including limiting his screen time and grounding him for disobeying.

Feeling frustrated and disrespected, the user decided to move out and return to his original plan of sharing an apartment with friends. Now, his family is criticizing him for not supporting them. To learn more about the situation and how others have reacted, read the full story below…

‘ AITA for moving back out after my parents demanded I follow their rules?’

This is my first post and im on mobile so apologies if I get it wrong. I (22 male) just finished college and went back to my hometown while I figure out what I want to do next. I was planning to share an apartment with my old friends, but my parents wanted me to move in to help them out.

Covid has hid them hard and are struggling to pay their bills, so they wanted me to move in and pay rent. I said ok because I wanted to help them out. It all went well until 3 days after I moved in. My mother came in around 9 PM, saying ‘I had enough screen time and need to go to bed’.

I thought this was ridiculous, because I’m an adult paying rent, they have no right to demand this. She said ‘your living under my roof, I make the rules’. I went along with it for the night, and the next morning I went and took my laptop back from their room. She proceeded to ground me, for ‘disobeying her authority’.

I had enough of this, called the people I was going to room with and asked if they still had a spot. They said yes, so I packed up and moved in with them. Now my family is hounding me for ‘not supporting my family’.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

yourlittlebirdie −  absurd zonked pathetic crush swim vase tender sleep ghost mysterious.

Spinthiscity −  Haha too funny. Tell them to make an ad for a tenant and make sure to put in the ad that they’ll be controlling that tenants screen- and bedtime, and must obey all house rules or else be grounded. NTA.

RememberKoomValley −  NTA. Lois McMaster Bujold has a quote about adulthood that I like: “Adulthood isn’t an award they’ll give you for being a good child. You can waste…years, trying to get someone to give that respect to you, as though it were a sort of promotion or raise in pay.

If only you do enough, if only you are good enough. No. You have to just…take it. Give it to yourself, I suppose. Say, I’m sorry you feel like that, and walk away. But that’s hard.” They can’t have you as an adult and have you as a child at the same time. At 22, parental authority should be taking an advisor role, not a dominator one.

A lot of parents find this transition difficult (though frankly they should have started working on it years ago). But it being difficult for them is their problem, not yours. You’re not causing fights, you’re not straining against their rules, you’re just refusing to be put into a position where you have to submit; that’s reasonable, mature behavior.

Arbor_Arabicae −  NTA. You put it perfectly. Your mother was ridiculous. Either you are an adult who is paying rent and therefore entitled to privacy, or you are a child who doesn’t have to pay expenses. If they want your support, they need to respect your status as an adult.

asdrfgbn −  NTA Now my family is hounding me for ‘not supporting my family’.. “You move in and help them then.”

FreddyGtFngrd −  NTA, but dude, srsly? Your mom took your laptop? You waited too long to move out.

ughneedausername −  Oh this is ridiculous. Absolutely NTA. You’re a 22 year old college graduate, not a kid living under your parents roof. I’m guessing they were always like this? But you probably hoped that your being a college graduate and paying rent would have changed the dynamic a bit. I would absolutely not move back in. They’re treating you like a child.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Youre an adult paying rent, not a child that has to go to school tomorrow.

macaroni_rascal42 −  NTA. You’re a fully grown adult which would be reasons enough, but on top of that you were paying rent. She has no authority to ground you, or take your property, you made the right call.

Independent-Meat-662 −  NTA – they can have any ridiculous ‘rules’ they want in their own house but you fully have the right to leave if they’re going to try to control you like that.I’d be more understanding if it was their tv in their living space.. but to confiscate your property? You’re a grown man. That isn’t punishment, that’s theft.