AITA for making my stepson walk on his engagement night?

A stepfather recounts a tense moment on his stepson’s engagement night when he kicked his stepson and his friend out of the car for harassing a woman in a parking lot. The decision sparked a heated argument with his wife, who believes he overreacted. Now, the stepson is refusing to speak to him, and the family is divided. Was the stepfather right to take a stand, or did he escalate the situation unnecessarily? Read the story below.

‘ AITA for making my stepson walk on his engagement night?’

The title sounds bad but hear me out. My stepson Rowan (23) just got engaged to his fiancee, she comes from a highly conservative family and they both won’t live together til after Marriage. They’re both on great terms and I have to say her parents are a bit much. So the engagement party was held at a restaurant. I drove my wife, Rowan snd his best friend Jack there because Rowan’s car needed some work. Things went quite well, party ended and everyone went home.

On the way back, I had to stop by the store so my could grab something for our 16 year old son. Rowan, Jack and I waited in the car. Rowan and Jack kept laughing then this young lady walked towards us cause her car was parked next to mine in the parking lot. Rowan kept trying to speak to her while she was trying to load her stuff in the car. he and jack kept throwing words at her and she sermed annoyed.

Jack then said “hey, he just wants to look at that a**” then Rowan said “Let me see it jiggle, baby” I was appalled, I told them both to knock it off but then Rowan satcastically replied “Relax I was just giving her a compliment, bet she don’t get many of those often”. The lady got in her car and I started arguing with him about his behavior and shamed him for acting like this on his own engagement night. He argued back saying something about my car and I lost it.

I told him to get out immediately, Jack got involved so I kicked him out too. My wife got back and started engaging in the argument sayingI can’t let her son walk home from his emgagement party, I replied that her son can’t be harrassing other women on the way back from his engagement party but she kept defending him. I told her to either stay or get in the car. She did and I drove off.

Rowan didn’t come home and my wife gave me hell for it. we later found out that he was staying at one of his guy friends place. From what I understand, he’s pissed at me and refusing to see me. My wife said it was my fault, I escalated the situation ober some stupid s**t boys his age do all the time.

I told her he can’t do this while in my car but she took it as in I was holding it over his head. She said I should’ve never made him walk the night his engagement and demanded that I apologize to him. Was I AITA for kicking him and his friend out of the car on his engagement night?

See what others had to share with OP:

PattersonsOlady −  Calling s**ual harassment “stupid boy s**t” is how rape culture is created and maintained. I am proud of you. You stood up for decency and respect in the community. I truly wish more people held their sons accountable and attempted to train them in the same way.. NTA.

sagehoe −  NTA. OH MY GOD. first of all, I am scared for Rowan’s to be wife. OP you are not in the wrong. My wife said it was my fault, I escalated the situation ober some stupid s**t boys his age do all the time. No guy I know does this s**t. No one should have to put up with this. Please PLEASE do not apologize. You’re in the clear, I wish we had more people like you who didn’t tolerate and spoke up.

derfel_cadern −  NTA. Your step-son and his friend are creeps. Your wife is enabling s**tty behavior.

Evil_Mel −  NTA. He was s**ually harassing a woman and that is never right. You stood up for your beliefs and women, sadly your wife seems to give him a pass on his behavior and it’s likely why he acted like that. He has no respect for women, it appears. It’s your car, and you were doing him a favor.

Wrecks128 −  NTA. He deserved his call out. Feel free to warn his future wife he was creeping on other women the night he got engaged (cause that’s not 🚩 at all /s)

whynousernamelef −  Nta. So it’s wrong to have s** before marriage but it’s OK to s**ually harass random women? The boy needs his head examined because he’s not making sense. How would he feel if someone treated his fiancee like that? You did the right thing and anyone who says otherwise is crazy! Has he ever acted like that in front of you before? Bravo to you.

[Reddit User] −  Not the a**hole and I would be reconsidering my place in that family if I were you. For a woman to boys will be boys a situation like that is deeply disturbing.

DepressedOpossum −  NTA. SERIOUSLY?! I would have kicked my “adult” son out of the car simply for S**UALLY HARASSING a stranger, because that is, IN FACT, what he did!! The whole engagement thing is just icing on the cake! I am -furious- with how your wife is handling this! Seriously? Kids that age do it all the time?! Well DUH, that’s the issue though isn’t it?! That kids do that because parents like your wife pat them on the back about it!

I bet that if your wife would have been the one cat called on she would have demanded you do something about it!!! I “cannot” believe her. This is either sexism and bad parenting if she truly believes what he did was ok, or powerplay because he is her biological child and you’re his step parent, which if true, is m**ipulative. Parenting cannot be judged upon whether there is biology or not involved. What you did was either right or wrong. Can’t let “HER” son walk?! Oh, I’m sorry, I guess when things are good he’s “our” problem but when I scold him his “your” son? ok then.

If she would have been a good parent (talking this specific instant) She would have chewed the meat off of his bones about what he did to that poor woman, and THEN she might as well argued that you couldn’t leave them to walk home. That would be acceptable. Passing off s**ual harassment as normal because she didn’t want her boy walking home is ridiculous! GOOD FOR YOU, for standing up for that poor woman!

andiemly −  Nta. I had to double check your stepson’s age because he sounds like a childish teenager, but he’s a grown adult apparently. God help his future wife. Sounds like she’s marrying a misogynistic turd.

TrustedTriangle −  NTA. Some stupid s**t boys his age do all the time. Um, no. The a**hole ones? Yea.