AITA for making my pregnant SIL cry when she kept asking why I changed my name?
A Reddit user finds herself at odds with her pregnant sister-in-law, Hailey, who has repeatedly questioned her name change from “Evelyn” to “Indie.”
After months of explaining her reasons and asking Hailey to drop it, she lost her patience when Hailey suggested the change was a mistake, causing her to snap and leave Hailey in tears. Now, her family is questioning whether she went too far. Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for making my pregnant SIL cry when she kept asking why I changed my name?’
My brother (30m) is married to Hailey (29f) and they’re expecting a baby together. Last year I (17f) officially changed my first name from Evelyn to Indie (which was a nickname form of my original middle name).
My parents gave in after realizing how serious I was about being Indie and how I was not warming up to or growing into Evelyn. My brother and Hailey want an older/vintage name for their baby and Hailey asked me about 5 months ago why I disliked Evelyn enough to change the name.
At the time she brought up how popular the name has become and how vintage is back. I told her I didn’t like vintage names and to me it sounded really old fashioned. I told her the popularity didn’t influence my decision.
She wanted to know my reason for disliking older names and why I liked something like Indie instead. I didn’t mind her asking this first time. She brought it up again a week later and she asked the same question and pressed more for why. She asked a third and a fourth time.
I gave her the same answer and asked her why she kept asking me. I told her my answer wasn’t going to change. By the seventh time she asked she admitted she was worried her baby would hate having an older name and wanted to figure out what she could do to prevent what happened with me happening to her.
She also said she’d like me to rethink my name because she thought Evelyn was beautiful and she was sad I had chosen something like Indie over it. I asked her to stop so many times already and I even asked my brother to stop her. He told me I needed to understand it was the hormones.
I can easily say she has asked me this more than 25 times by now. I’m not exaggerating that number either. Two weeks ago when she brought it up again she felt like I had made a mistake changing my name and how 30 year old me wouldn’t be so against Evelyn.
I told her 30 year old me can deal with it if that happens. She told me I didn’t really have a good reason to like the name and Indie seemed like the kind of name someone young likes but not someone older. Then yesterday happened and I kinda lost my temper.
She started out asking the same stuff and the baby is almost ready to be born so I know it’s coming to an end but she asked me to really think about why and help her because she couldn’t figure out what she’d do differently than my parents did.
Then she said they really shouldn’t have let me change my name so young. I snapped and I told her to stop asking me the same question because my answer won’t change and her comments are not changing my mind because I don’t like old fashioned names.
I told her I think they’re awful and I’m sick and tired of hearing about how much better they are and having her try to make me find a reason she finds acceptable.
I told her just like she hates Indie, I hate Evelyn and she needs to let it f**king go already. She burst into tears and my brother got so mad at me. My parents were also like why did I have to speak to her so harshly.. AITA?
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Final_Figure_7150 − I told her just like she hates Indie, I hate Evelyn and she needs to let it f**king go already. She burst into tears and my brother got so mad at me. My parents were also like why did I have to speak to her so harshly.
If you reacted like this the very first time she asked, then you’d be a bit of an AH … But, after months of her asking you the same thing over, and over, and over, your reaction is justified. I hate the ” you must understand it’s the pregnancy hormones ” spiel – being pregnant doesn’t give you a free pass to be an AH.. NTA
Famous_Specialist_44 − If someone continues to question your identity, and they don’t accept you for who you are, and if they ignore your explanation and request to move on… they are bullies and discriminatory.
So, no surprise she burst into tears and is playing the victim now because that’s what entitled bullies do when they are challenged.. NTA Indie
KSJ08 − NTA. Her behavior is really weird. Why ask repeatedly? And what’s it to her, whether you choose to use Evelyn or Indie? It has nothing to do with her or her baby. I don’t understand why she’s so obsessed with your name.
PumpkinPowerful3292 − NTA – This: ‘She told me I didn’t really have a good reason to like the name and Indie seemed like the kind of name someone young likes but not someone older.’, You don’t need her good reason to change your name just your good reason to change your name.
After 25 times of the same b**lying from her, I would have snapped at her as well. Because it is b**lying she was doing, for what purpose, who knows? And it is not hormones and as to why you needed to speak harshly to her, well it was because she kept b**lying you over you changing your name,
tell your parents and brother is was like when you were kids traveling with your parents and you kept asking, ‘Are we there yet?’ over and over and over again and how they finally snapped at you to shut up? Yeah, it was like that.
Secret_Double_9239 − NTA pregnancy or not she would be testing anyone’s patience the way she was carrying on. Tell your parents exactly how many time you have had the same disrespectful conversation with her and ask them what they would have done.
Also tell your brother that you had told him how irritating she was being and asked him to tell her to stop which he didn’t, therefore the situation is as much his fault as hers.
Suzeli55 − OMG. It’s not hormones. She is talking down to you and lecturing you because you’re 17. She’s saying you don’t know what you want and shouldn’t be allowed to choose anything for yourself.
I’d be so mad!! I’d have reamed her out just like you did. And she’s only pregnant. I’ve been pregnant twice and it’s not a terminal disease, or an excuse to treat others badly. Your brother and mother should both tell to stop already.
Excellent-Count4009 − NTA. ” She also said she’d like me to rethink my name ” .. this makes her the AH. “she needs to let it f**king go already.” .. this is the only reasonable response. REFUSE to discuss this with her any more. And your brother and parents need to either shut HER up, or accept that you will do it yourself.
Apprehensive_War9612 − NTA. But in the future when she starts, just stare at her a second and walk off. Because this is not going to end once the baby is born. She will bring it up every time she tells someone her child’s name and will follow up with a passive aggressive comment about how its better than the name you chose.
MerlinBiggs − NTA. Your response is what happens when someone constantly badgers you after being repeatedly told to stop. Maybe now she’ll stop bothering you.
authorizedscott − NTA – you were immensely patient for putting up with it for as long as you did, and your outburst is completely understandable. It doesn’t matter that she is pregnant and “it’s the hormones” only goes so far.
Sure, you could have been less aggressive in your final response, but she also could have stopped asking the same question 20+ times ago. By the way, Indie is a cool f**king name, hell yeah! (It makes me think of Indiana Jones… *you were named after the DOG???*).
Do you think the Reddit user’s reaction was justified after her sister-in-law’s persistent questioning, or was she too harsh in expressing her frustration? How would you handle repeated comments about a personal choice like a name change? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
