AITA for making my partner choose between me and his mom?

Navigating family dynamics can be challenging, especially when a partner’s family doesn’t approve of the relationship. For one woman, the situation escalated to a dangerous level when her boyfriend’s mother and his ex-girlfriend deliberately tried to harm her. After years of enduring hurtful comments and boundary violations, she reached her breaking point. Now, she’s facing criticism for not inviting her boyfriend’s mom to a family BBQ. Was she wrong to draw the line, or is she justified in protecting herself?

‘ AITA for making my partner choose between me and his mom?’

Expert Opinions

Toxic Family Systems:
Dr. Sherrie Campbell, author of But It’s Your Family…, explains: “Narcissistic parents often sabotage relationships to maintain control. The mom’s actions—favoring Jane, poisoning OP—are classic tactics to isolate her son and assert dominance.”

Legal and Medical Repercussions:
Legal analyst Emily D. Baker stresses: “Knowingly exposing someone to an allergen is assault. OP could press charges; the mom’s admission is evidence. The family’s dismissal minimizes a crime.”

Partner Accountability:
Relationship coach Matthew Hussey notes: “The partner’s delayed response enabled escalation. True support means preemptive boundaries, not reactive apologies after near-fatal harm.”

Solutions from Experts:

• Maintain No-Contact: Mom’s lack of remorse signals future risk.
• Couples Therapy: Address partner’s history of passivity.
• Legal Action: Consider restraining orders or charges to deter future harm.

Heres the input from the Reddit crowd:

Community Opinions:

Reddit users overwhelmingly sided with OP, labeling the mom a “potential killer” and urging legal action. Critics dismissed family pressure as enabling abuse, while a minority blamed OP for “holding grudges”—but even they conceded: “Poisoning isn’t a grudge; it’s a felony.”

This isn’t about choosing sides—it’s about survival. The mom’s actions crossed into criminality, and the family’s pressure to forgive prioritizes comfort over justice. OP’s refusal to host her isn’t pettiness; it’s self-preservation.