AITA for making my cousin’s pregnant GF sleep on the couch over Thanksgiving?

A Reddit user shares a Thanksgiving dilemma where, after being promised a room with a bed, she was asked to give it up for her cousin’s pregnant girlfriend due to a surprise last-minute arrival. Despite her mother’s insistence, the user stood firm on keeping her bed for herself, causing tension with family. Was she in the wrong for not giving up her room? Read the full story below to find out!

‘ AITA for making my cousin’s pregnant GF sleep on the couch over Thanksgiving?’

My (38F) Aunt (60ishF) hosted Thanksgiving this year at her fairly large house. She was really eager this year to have my mother’s family join this year, including me and my sister her husband, and her kids because haven’t seen each other in a while. She was insistent that we all stay at her house so we could spend more time with each other.

Before I agreed to go, I confirmed with her that I would be able to sleep in a bed, in a room with a door that closes. I’m ok with sharing a bed or a room, but I need an actual bed or a room. I am the only one of my siblings or cousins who is single or childless/childfree. Because of this, historically I have been relegated to the living room couch or floor during holidays. It has always sucked. I am overweight so I wake up with back pain.

I have had air mattresses deflate on me overnight due to a hole. I can’t fall asleep until the the younger adult family members finish hanging out at 1 am and then I get woken up at 6 am by someone making coffee. People keep on moving my luggage. I get only a couple of hours of bad sleep and wake up in pain. I have pledged to myself that if I wasn’t able to get a real bed in an actual room, that I would get a hotel room.

Thanksgiving week arrives and I’m pleasantly surprised that I was assigned a room and a Queen bed to myself. All of the adults had beds they shared with thier SO. It was great for the first night.

But the day before Thanksgiving my cousin (35M) arrives with his GF (28F) who is 6 months pregnant as a surprise. He had originally told my Aunt he wasn’t going to be able to make it because of work, but he just wanted to surprise her. But now, there isn’t enough beds for everyone.

My mother said that I could give up my bed to the couple and sleep on the air mattress in the den, but my Aunt insisted I stay in my room. My cousin ended up on the couch and his GF on an air mattress. My mother is now lecturing me about being a bad guest. She thinks I should of insisted that my cousin and his GF take the bed, especially because she is pregnant.. AITA?

See what others had to share with OP:

owls_and_cardinals −  ~~NAH.~~ NTA You weren’t a bad guest. You have been given the short stick many times and had needs you helpfully communicated in advance. You could not have anticipated additional guests. I think the only possible AHs here are the cousin with the surprise pregnant GF, it’s a nice gesture but if he wasn’t sure there would be room for them to stay it was s**tty of them not to make hotel reservations nearby and graciously decline any offers that your aunt could ‘make room’ for the unexpected additions.

If expecting cousin couple had done that, this would have been a non-issue. I don’t feel that you should have insisted on giving up your spot over this. EDIT: I originally felt there were no AHs but I agree with others that your mom volunteering your space and then giving you a hard time is AHish, and secondarily the surprise guests expecting accommodation without having arranged it in advance also are.

LadyGrey_oftheAbyss −  NTA – but…..you might have a mum problem. Why is she voluntelling you? – Your Aunt is a good host who understands that you specifically called ahead to make sure you had what you needed. You mum is a bad guest trying to put pressure on another guess which could make her host look bad.

Personally I don’t know why the kids aren’t the ones sleeping on the couch and air mattress. But regardless The cousin should have made arrangements to make sure his GF didn’t end up on the air mattress- like a hotel room.

Tdluxon −  NTA. Since your cousin was coming as a surprise, he should have known that there wouldn’t be enough beds and planned ahead by getting a hotel, or telling someone else who was in on the surprise and made some sort of arrangements with them. Showing up with someone who is 6 months pregnant and no plans for where they will sleep is pretty dumb on his part. Also, if your mom is so insistent on you giving up your bed, why didn’t she just give up her bed?

ZombieHealthy2616 −  Your Mom could have given up her bed as could any of the other people staying with your aunt. Tell your Mom she or your sister and BIL were equally capable of giving up their beds and your sleep and comfort are just as important as theirs. NTA.

andromache97 −  idk if there is an AH in this story….but i feel like someone should’ve made sure the pregnant woman had a bed to sleep in. probably your cousin’s responsibility since he is the one who brought her to his mother’s house. he should’ve ponied up for a hotel room ffs.

ETA: my judgment is NTA. cousin is TA. but i am surprised that the aunt or OP’s mother (or any of the other older-generation adults here) didn’t try to (kindly) kick him out and make him get a proper hotel room for him and his gf instead of letting them sleep on the couch / air mattress.

Novel-Vacation-4788 −  As the single child free person in my family, I usually have the worst bed or room. I didn’t mind for a while until I realized that the young kids each get their own room and I’m still in the living room. I confirm ahead of time now or stay at a hotel or simply don’t go.

SingleAlfredoFemale −  Can we just give kudos to your aunt for a second? I was shocked (in a good way!) when you said she stood by her word to you. That’s just awesome. NTA by the way. Cousin should have gotten a hotel. Presumably he knew who all was staying over and can count.

xaledonia −  NTA. You communicated early about your requests for an actual bed in a room with a door that closes, and that you wouldn’t mind sharing a room or a bed. Your aunt agreed and took that into consideration when making the sleeping arrangements and assigned you a bed in a room. Your aunt, who is the host, didn’t budge when unexpected guests arrived asking for a bed.

The only a**hole in this is your mom because she’s amongst those people who think that singles should always get the short end/that couples take priority. She could’ve just as easily offered her spot in a bed (and I’m guessing your father’s or her partner’s spot as well) to her nephew and his gf but didn’t.

The cousin might also be an a**hole if he assumed that you would automatically give up your bed, and he and his gf could’ve easily booked a hotel since they were coming in as a surprise and knew that not having a bed would be a risk.

Efficient_Art_5688 −  If it was important to your mother that they have a bed she had the option of offering up the one she was going to use.

DinoSnuggler −  NTA. Nobody with a working brain brings a pregnant woman who needs a place to sleep as a surprise guest.