AITA for making fun of my stepmum getting cheated on?

A Redditor shared their complicated family dynamics as the “affair baby” of a wealthy father and his stepmother. Living under the same roof, the stepmother often makes derogatory comments about the user’s mother, which have sparked tension.

After overhearing her insult their mother during a phone call, the Redditor couldn’t hold back and made a biting remark about her jealousy. Now, they’re questioning whether they crossed the line. Read the original story below.

‘ AITA for making fun of my stepmum getting cheated on?’

Ok, so for context, I am my dad’s ‘affair baby’, and I live with him and my stepmum. My dad is basically your stereotypical rich douchebag, who cheated on his reasonably aged wife with a younger woman, my mum, and my stepmum decided to stay with him.

My mum was unaware of my dad’s wife or my older siblings when she had me, however, despite this, rather than direct her anger at my dad, SM chooses to direct it at my mum and at me. Honestly, I’m pretty indifferent to my dad’s douchebaginess, sure he’s a bad person, but he’s a good father.

My SM, doesn’t interact with me much and treats me with indifference mostly, we exist in the same house but we don’t care for each other. I don’t mind this, but what I do mind is her occasional comments on my mum.

Earlier today, while I was in the conservatory studying (i like natural light), She came in on her phone, talking to her friend, and basically called mum an u**y s**t in a ‘look at what he cheated on me with’ way. I interrupted, and said if mum was so bad and dad cheated on SM with mum, what did that say about SM?

She went red in the face, cut the call and then tried to yell at me, but I essentially called her a jealous bitter old lady, took my books and went up to my room.
I don’t know. I can’t focus on physics properly when I’m feeling bad about saying all that and making fun of her for getting cheated on. My exam’s later today and I’m gonna fail at this rate. AITA?. Edit: i’m a guy

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

IslandMist −  NTA – I don’t know what this thing is where the kid is expected to act like the adult in the face of ridicule and abuse from an adult, but you could make her life hell. Catelyn Stark got what she deserved.

PS: Your mom likely knew he was married with a family. It’s almost impossible to keep something like that hidden unless she just met him, slept with him and got pregnant all in the same week.

Rich, powerful men are very attractive to young women, and he probably made promises of leaving his wife and to be with her to seduce her. Later on, women often say they didn’t know so that people don’t judge them as harshly while the man gets off scot free.

UnhappyDare5806 −  Sorry, if your dad has stayed married to someone who is resentful of you and treats you badly because of his f**k up, then he isn’t a good father. He didn’t love her enough to not cheat on her so why is he pretending to love her now and put you through living and growing up in this environment? It’s his responsibility to make sure that his selfishness doesn’t affect you.

If he was a s**tty person but good dad, he would have left her after he realized she was going to hold his affair against you. He has it pretty perfect rn. You’re both taking your anger out at each other and nobody is giving him any s**t.

Own-Kangaroo6931 −  Good luck with physics today (from a physics teacher!). And yeah, NTA, she shouldn’t be talking crap about your mother in front of you. She’s clearly insecure and knows he’ll do it again. But not ok to say that in front of the kids.

LurkerByNatureGT −  ESH – Defending your mom is reasonable, but you and your SM both are targeting the wrong person and giving the actual a**hole in the situation a pass. 

Mhunterjr −  ESH. First of all your dad is not a good father. He’s a primary source of the hostility you’ve had to live with. Also your stepmom is an AH for lashing out at you and your mother, rather than your father, who is the main person deserving of her ire.

I can’t blame you for feeling the urge to defend your mom. If she truly didn’t know your dad had a family, she really doesn’t deserve to be trashed. That said, it’s EXTREMELY unlikely that your mom didn’t know, and if she did, then yeah, shame on her.

But your stepmom also didn’t deserve what happened to her so rubbing it in isn’t the way to go. Your dad is living comfortably,  while everyone around him is bickering with each other because of his behavior. And he’s remained in a relationship with a person who is a**sive to his son. He a horrible father. 

Beneficial_Local1012 −  NTA. Your stepmom is a grown woman, you are a child that had no say in even being born. The fact that she keeps taking things out on you and regularly insults your mother in front of you is just gross. It’s like she’s saying that she can’t stand up to your dad but she can definitely b**ly a kid.  What does your dad say about this? Have you brought it up to him and told him how it makes you feel? 

Still_Command5702 −  I don’t want to give a judgment. Torn between esh and nah. Your mother was a home wrecker, simple as that, you honestly cannot expect your SM to talk positively about your mother. Should she be mad at her husband as well? Of course.

But you don’t know what they talk about in private or if she is mad at him as well. You are, obviously, innocent in all this, but your SM is still allowing you to live in her home despite being a constant reminder of her partner’s cheating.

You said you are indifferente to your father douchebaginess, well try being indifferent to your SM douchebaginess towards your mom as well. Of course if she is s**tty towards you then you have a right to defend yourself. But if she is s**tty toward your mother mind your business because she would never be able to respect her for what she did.

EssentialFoils −  You’re in serious denial if you believe your mum didn’t know he was married and had kids when she decided to f**k a married man.
Your stepmum should leave your dad and kick you both out.

unimpressed-one −  Sorry dude your Mother, Father and stepmother all s**k. No kid deserves to grow up with that. Get an education and get out. If you marry and have kids, you know what not to do.

Random-widget −  ESH. *She came in on her phone, talking to her friend, and basically called mum an u**y s**t in a ‘look at what he cheated on me with’ way.* You take this line and combine it with this line… *and said if mum was so bad and dad cheated on SM with mum, what did that say about SM?* …and you get a situation where everyone is at least equally at fault. But…understandably so.

Your Stepmother was inconsiderate for saying that around you, certainly. But being cheated on is a rough thing to have to deal with. When my first wife demanded a divorce since “this just isn’t working out” and once she left, she moved in with her girlfriend…I was devastated. So inconsiderate but understandable.

In your case, you were a little snarky with your response. But again it’s understandable since this person was bad mouthing your mother right in front of you. I’m not sure I would have been able to resist a snarky comment in your situation. To me this is an “Everyone sucks” situation caused by the pain of the cheating and the natural knee-j**k reaction of having your mother bad-mouthed.

Do you think the Redditor was justified in standing up for their mother, or did they go too far in making fun of their stepmother’s situation? How would you handle a similar conflict with a stepparent? Share your thoughts below!