AITA for lying to my boyfriend what I fed him for dessert?

A 24-year-old Polish woman feels frustrated that her Spanish boyfriend refuses to try traditional Polish food, openly gagging at meals and calling them disgusting. After a tense family dinner, she lies to him about the dessert her mother made, claiming it was store-bought instead of the cottage cheese cake known as sernik.

When he finds out the truth and expresses anger over her deception, she begins to question whether her actions were wrong. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for lying to my boyfriend what I fed him for dessert?’

Hi! So I (24f) have a boyfriend (24m). I’m from Poland and he’s from Spain. Since we met almost 1 year ago, he never tried any polish food that me or my family prapered for him. If he just said ,,no thanks” I would be fine. But he always comments on how disgusting it is, asks how could we even eat that and he gags for the whole meal.

He never even tried that food! We argued about it a few times, because I think that he’s behavior is unacceptable, but he sais that this food is just horrible and he’s allowed to have preference.

Four days ago, at a family dinner when my mom asked him if he would like some gołąbki (google translates it as a cabbage rolls, not sure if it’s the same thing) he one again gaged, coverd his mouth and said that he could never eat that. I was furious with him and told him to apologise.

He refused and there was a tense mood throughout the rest of the lunch. After lunch it was time for a dessert. My mom made sernik, whitch is simillar to cheescake, but it’s made with cottage cheese. My boyfriend refused to try that before, but this time my mom covered it in chocolate so it looked a little different.

When he asked what’s that, I quickly said that it’s some store bought cake. My family didn’t correct me and we all ate in peace. My boyfriend even took a second piece! He asked where we bought that. Then I told him that it’s sernik that my mom made with cottage cheese. He looked at me a little confused than told my mom it is good.

I was happy with the result of my litte lie, but on our way home he started yelling at me, how could I humiliate him like that in front of my family and how could I lie about what he’s going to eat when he already told me that it’s disgusting.

I asked him what his problem was because he liked the cake, but he said that I didn’t respect him and his boundries and he’s not talking to me until I apologise. It’s been four days, he’s not answering my massages and I’m having doubts if he’s right? AITA?

Heres the input from the Reddit crowd:

Basic-Regret-6263 −  ESH, but you’ll stop being one after you d**p this guy. He openly disrespects your by calling your food disgusting, and then gets angry when you prove that he’s just doing it to denigrate you, and not even because of the food. 

You’re twisting yourself up trying to prove that your food isn’t disgusting, but you’ll never succeed, because the taste isn’t the point.The point is him using it to tear you down and neg you, so that he feels that he’s better than you.

I genuinely dislike most Filipino food. Never once have I insulted chicken adobo or pancit in front of any Filipino person. Not just if they were friends, not just someone I dated, literally anyone. Why? Because only a massive a**hole would do that. Now, I’m not very nice – decent, at best.

So how come my baseline courtesy to anyone, as a mild a**hole, is so far above how your bf treats you and your family?  What about you – have you ever been that rude to someone – even a stranger? Stop twisting yourself up to fix his hate like it was a good-faith issue, accept that he does this because he wants to be a d**k, and d**p him.

Equivalent_March3225 −  I had my daughter’s friend over for a sleepover and said I was cooking “Puerco Asado, red beans and rice and Yucca with mojo” she said she didn’t know if she would like it because she doesn’t always like that sort of thing. I said if she didn’t, I’d happily do something else.

However, she happily gave it a try 3 or 4 mouthfuls to fully assess flavour, etcetera. She then apologised and said she didn’t like it. I said, “It’s okay. You tried, and that’s fine.
Even though she had a feeling she might not like it, she still gave it a go.

Afterwards, I made something else. My point is that even a 10 year old still tried food of a different culture without immediately saying no. She also said she happily try another cuban dish.

Overall-Astronomer58 −  NTA, but I wouldn’t stay with a guy like that. Being picky with food is one thing, but the clearly disrespectful behavior towards you and your family? Not even wanting to try? Sorry, but that has nothing to do with being a picky eater or certain nationalities – that’s just flat out rude. Sorry you have to deal with that. 🫤

laughinglovinglivid −  NTA, but break up with him; his attitude to your culture is disgusting, and he’s rude to your family as well as you. Why are you with him?

Lewlynn −  ESH – you shouldn’t have lied, and he is looking down on you because you are Polish. He doesn’t have a problem with the food, he has problems with you being Polish and his prejudice towards your culture.

Tough_Crazy_8362 −  Your boyfriend is extremely rude and disrespectful. I’d say his behavior is bordering the line of emotional abuse and bigotry. In short, he sucks.. NTA

Joubachi −  Normally I’d say Y T A for lying about food but… this time NTA – **d**p this toddler**. His reactions are not just vile, they are straight up r**ist. You lied knowing no allergies were involved and his “preferences” sre just disguised racism, not the best way but understandable. But you are an A H to yourself if you stay with him. He’s a grown man. He chooses to behave that way.

Fit_Menu8933 −  He doesn’t have a problem with the food. He wants you to feel like you have to prove to him that you deserve to exist and be liked. He’s an a**hole. D**p him. 

AinoNaviovaat −  NTA but as a slovak, if my dutch partner behaved like that ONCE he’d be out the door. I think your ex boyfriend did you a service by taking himself our like the trash he is. Next time get someone who isn’t a rude asshat

Good-Statement-9658 −  NTA. But you seem to be dating a 5 year old. Literally, my oldest son was like that when he was little. He HATED fish. Loved chicken. I’d ran out of chicken nuggies so I gave him fish nuggies instead. Told him they were chicken.

He ate the lot without fuss. Then when I told him they were fish, he insisted he doesn’t like them 🤣🤣🤦‍♀️ He’d be gone on the premise of being a rude ah to my parents, but next time, find a grown up to date ☺️

Is the woman justified in her decision to lie about the dessert, or did she cross a line by not respecting her boyfriend’s preferences? What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!