AITA for losing weight before my sister’s wedding?

A woman who has lost 100 lbs over the past year is being accused by her sister of trying to upstage her at her wedding. The woman hadn’t shared much about her weight loss with her family and hadn’t seen them in a while. Upon seeing her, the sister, who has gained some weight, became upset and accused her of stealing focus. The family is siding with the sister, leaving the woman wondering if she’s in the wrong.

‘ AITA for losing weight before my sister’s wedding?’

I 28F used to be quite overweight, over the last year or so I have made many changes in my life and have successfully lost almost 100lbs. I don’t live close to any of my family and don’t post on social media so my family wasn’t really aware of my weight loss. I did mention that I was making healthier choices but that’s it.

It’s just that every time before that I’ve tried to lose weight it hasn’t worked out so I didn’t want anyone commenting on it. My sister 26F got engaged last year and I’m super happy for her. Due to circumstances, the wedding had to be pushed back a little.

It’s happening a week from now and because I haven’t seen everyone in so long I decided to come down two weeks earlier to help out and catch up. Well, when I came to see my family my sister freaked out upon seeing me. As it turns out she has gained a bit of weight not super noticeable to me she still looks great.

But I think this is the first time in our lives that I’m smaller than her I’ve always been the “fat sister”. She basically accused me of trying to upstage her and my parents are fully taking her side. I’m really not sure if I’m in the wrong here as so many of my family are taking her side of things. AITA for losing weight before my sister’s wedding?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

[Reddit User] −  Wow OP, you spent whole year of your life losing weight and make sacrifices just to upstage your sister ?! How dedicated and petty of you ! /sarcasm
How delusional is your family ? NTA.. Edit : typo. Edit : Thanks for the awards !! 😀

nonasuch −  NTA. You didn’t lose weight _at_ her.

glossyjikookbun −  Nta, girl don’t go to the wedding if this is how they’re gonna act, like cut toxic family out

PurplePenguinPoops −  Wow. How dare you lose an amazing 100 lbs and decide to make healthier lifestyle choices. How dare you care for your health and make your insecure sister even more insecure due to her own problems with vanity. What a monster /s. All ridiculousness aside,. NTA.

With all due respect, your sister needs to get her head out of her backend before she starts choking on the s**t that she’s so full of. I’m sorry you have to go through this OP.

Unit-Healthy −  NTA. I suggest you simply say “I’m sorry my current appearance has ruined your wedding; I’ll head back home now. Send photos!” Then get on with your life.

Sometimes (I’ve seen it happen) families get so entrenched in obesity and unhealthy habits that they are actually offended by friends or family members who choose a different path. Truth is they’re jealous as can be, but may not even realize that themselves.

[Reddit User] −  NAH. Let me explain. I say this as someone who was your sister. My older sister who had been on the chubby side all her life decided to lose weight for my wedding. With the privilege of hindsight, she made a great choice and looks fantastic in the wedding pictures.

Unfortunately I turned into a bridezilla one fine day when we were wedding shopping and I had a hard time getting stuff that fit while she had no problems getting a dress that looked fabulous on her new sleek bod (mind you she had given birth about 6 months earlier). I straight up started sobbing in the store.

I’m ashamed to admit that I even accused her of stealing the limelight. What I didn’t have was family that supported me in my silly tantrum. They immediately told me my sister worked hard for this and I need to get over myself. That’s all the wake up call I needed. I got myself together (took a day),

apologised to my sister and appreciated the fact that she was so excited about my wedding that she finally fought off her obesity. It honestly made my wedding so much better than if I had spent the entire day seething at her. I completely get where your sister is coming from. But this needs to be shut down pronto.

Your family on the other hand are completely TA here. Them joining in on this bridezilla campaign is detrimental to both you and your sister. Edit: 100lbs??? Holy heck. Great job OP super proud of you. Don’t take any of this drama to heart.

PoisonedCherry −  NTA. You didn’t know that she gained weight and you’re just taking care of yourself(which btw we’re all proud of you) the only person that you spend 100% of your life with is yourself and you gotta know what’s best for you.

They’re acting like she got in a horrible accident that broke her nose and can’t fix it by the wedding and you got a nose job that’ll be healed by then. This is about your health not looks.

Leggoeggolas −  NTA Is it possible that your family has a bit to do with your weight loss not sticking in the past? Negative comments? Bringing you unhealthy food? That kind of thing? I’ve seen this happen before with my sibling, that could be the real reason they’re upset, they couldn’t keep you where they wanted you.

AmethysstFire −  NTA. She’s jealous. Congrats on you weight loss! That’s amazing.

Mysterious_Damage708 −  NTA what your family is saying is horrendous. They should be supporting you not saying bad things about you