AITA for letting my Brother(m50) be homeless instead of letting him move in with me(m30)?

A 30-year-old new father is conflicted about letting his 50-year-old brother move in after the latter faces eviction. Living in a small apartment with his partner and newborn, the man is also struggling financially and feels it isn’t feasible to accommodate his brother, whose poor decisions and lifestyle contribute to his current situation.

Adding to the tension is resentment over the brother benefiting from their late parents, while the man had to navigate life without them. Despite guilt, he prioritizes his family’s needs during this bonding period. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for letting my Brother(m50) be homeless instead of letting him move in with me(m30)?’

Long story short, my partner just gave birth to our child. It’s just me, her and the baby in a small apartment. Don’t have any other family besides an estranged sister. Both my parents are deceased so there’s no one to really give guidance or help any of us.

My brother is getting evicted and asking to move in with me but I’m afraid his lifestyle along with his decision making just make it an impossible thing to do. I’m also not doing much better than him, I’m also poor and need help myself but at the very least I’m keeping my bills pay.

Not to mention my partner is not interested in this idea at all because why would she, but also this is our bonding time. It’s frustrating for me because I feel bad on one side but at the same rate I also resent him because he’s way older than me, had an actual relationship with our parents and benefited from them.

Edit: Hey, thanks everyone. I appreciate everyone’s words more than you know. You know, I obviously feel bad it’s my older brother, but I feel justified to say no.

I realistically don’t have the time, patience, or inclination. I told him I’d go as far as to help store some of his items and offer the occasional shower/meal. Pretty much all I can do. Again thanks everyone.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

VinylHighway −  Eviction doesn’t mean bankrupt. Also nobody gets evicted in one day. Did he wait 30 days to tell you?. Does he have a job? He’s a failure at 50 putting him up with you won’t fix that

Objective-Source-479 −  NTA. You have to put on your own oxygen mask before you can help others. If you are struggling on your own higher utilities and grocery bills will not help you out.

You said you think he is causing his own issues through lifestyle and decision making, don’t expose yourself, your SO or your new baby to that. He’s an adult and he will figure it out, or won’t but you can’t let yourself be dragged down too.

East_Parking8340 −  two yeses is a green light, one is a red. Your partner says no so no, he can’t move in.

Discount_Mithral −  NTA. He’s an adult, and it sounds like his choices lead him here. You and your spouse just had a baby, and you live in a small apartment. Where would he think he would live? Both of you are too old to deal with a couch surfer.

Tell him you’re sorry, but you don’t have the room or resources, and as it’s not just your place, your SO’s thoughts matter here too. With a new baby in the house, it’s just not an option. Perhaps you can provide him with a list of shelters in the area.

StAlvis −  NTA My brother is getting evicted and asking to move in with me but I’m afraid his lifestyle along with his decision making just make it an impossible thing to do. If you don’t have your s**t together by **_50_**, there’s no helping you.

Valuable-Island-1880 −  NTA you need to focus on maintaining a safe and comfortable environment for your wife and newborn. Those are a rough few months and sharing a 1 bedroom with a man she’s not entirely comfortable and on board with having around is just not an option.

By all means, try your best to help your brother out where you can but that just doesn’t sound like a solution here.

RoyallyOakie −  NTA….Everything about this situation is a giant NO! It’s sad, but you have your own responsibilities. To say yes to your brother would be irresponsible.

Eastern_Condition863 −  NTA. At this point, since you are not that much more well off than he is, you would be taking resources away from your child if you chose to house him. Your baby deserves better than that. The answer has to be “no”.

Tally0987654321 −  NTA Its your home. But if it’s just a few days and he has an actual plan to get a place immediately, I’d help him. If he’s wanting to crash permanently on your couch until he figures life out… nah. Your resentment of him isn’t healthy though. It’s cool to wish you had more time with your parents, but blaming him cuz he’s older isn’t good.

MrsChickenPam −  Congrats on the new baby! NTA – you are completely justified in now wanting to enter into this with him. It will be chaos. If he can’t understand that, then he’s completely self-centered and even more reason to dodge this bullet.

You could offer to have him for internet access, a meal (& a shower if needed) a couple of PRE-ARRANGED times per week since it seems that you DO want to help.

Is it wrong to prioritize your family and well-being over helping a sibling in need? How would you handle this tough decision? Share your thoughts below!