AITA for letting my 7 year old daughter call my husband “daddy”, against the wishes of her biological father (my ex husband)?

A mother is questioning whether she’s in the wrong for allowing her 7-year-old daughter to call her stepfather “daddy,” despite her biological father’s objections. Her ex-husband, who left during her pregnancy, believes this is inappropriate and has accused her of emotional abuse and parental alienation.

The child naturally began calling her stepfather “daddy” after her younger brother was born, and the mother feels her daughter should be free to express love for her stepfather. For the full story and family dynamics, read below.

‘ AITA for letting my 7 year old daughter call my husband “daddy”, against the wishes of her biological father (my ex husband)?’

My ex husband left me when I was 2 months pregnant. When my daughter turned 4 months old, he married his current wife. I met my husband when my daughter was 2 years old and married him when she turned 3. My daughter is now 7 years old and I have a 3 year old son with my husband.

My ex has two daughters with his wife, who are 6 and 4. My ex has an every other weekend visitation with our daughter. Now my daughter used to call my husband ‘popi’ , but ever since the birth of my son, my daughter has started calling my husband ‘daddy’.

That’s what I call my husband when I address him in front of my son, and my daughter has kind of picked up on that. We never told her no, because my husband loves my daughter and thinks of her as his own. He has stayed up nights taking care of her the times she has been sick.

Now, she doesn’t have the same relationship with her stepmother. She has always called her stepmother by her actual first name, and it has always been that way, even though her stepmother has known her for a longer time than my husband. Here’s why I’m wondering if I’m the a**hole.

The other night, when me and my husband went to pick up my daughter from her dad’s, my daughter ran out of their door happily saying “mommy and daddy are here, I’m going home!” When my ex heard her address my husband as ‘daddy’, he turned visibly upset.

Later when we got home, my ex blew up on my phone saying that I was emotionally abusing my daughter by ‘making’ her call another man “daddy” and that I needed to make her stop. I said that our daughter has all the right to call my husband daddy if it makes her happy.

He then asked me how I’d feel if he made our daughter call his wife “mommy”. I told him that if my daughter hasn’t called her ” Mommy ” after 6 years of knowing her, it is because she never wanted to. I said that it isn’t my fault if our daughter feels closer to her stepfather and actually loves our family together.

After saying that, I hanged up. The next day my ex mother in law called me accusing me of parental alienation. This is honestly messing with my mind. My husband loves my daughter. Is it really bad if we let her call him “daddy”?. He loves it and in fact, he always says that he has 2 kids.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

AnarchoNAP −  Based on your description NTA. If he wanted to not have competition for the term daddy then he shouldn’t have gone out looking for competition for the term wife while he was still married to you.

hillybelle −  NTA. The ex is TA assuming that you make her call him daddy. He’s clearly insecure with his parenting of your daughter. He should be very happy your daughter has this in her life.

DuskShades −  NTA. I had a friend who was in your daughter’s situation as a child. She had a “dad” and a “daddy” and both learned to be happy with it. If it’s your daughter’s choice then it’s not parental alienation.

[Reddit User] −  NTA. Her dad is feeling insecure and he’s lashing out. Ultimately telling your daughter to stop calling a parental figure dad is just going to hurt her at this point and if your ex takes a second to think he’ll hopefully see that.

amiracle786 −  Real simple in my mind, NTA. Maybe I misrrad it but I didn’t see you say she stopped calling her original dad, dad or popi. But the fact that she is growing close to the one she sees more is a great sign and he should want that for her. Esp when it has no negative on his life. Let alone for the fact the og pops walked out on you pregnant.

[Reddit User] −  NTA – Tell your ex to f**k off.

CCrider921 −  INFO – Does your daughter not call the step mother mommy because they made it clear from the beginning that you are her mommy and established boundaries from the beginning so that the daughter knows who is who? Do you know exactly why the daughter calls her by her name and nothing else?

TheRealBillSteele −  NTA. Divorce is crappy. It’s almost like she is using this as a coping mechanism to regain something that has been lost. If your ex is a good man, the daughter will know this as she gets older and she will always be his daughter. The ex needs to lighten up.

[Reddit User] −  ESH – did it occur to you she doesn’t call his wife mommy because he stopped her or was never brought up? Think about how you would really feel about her calling his wife mommy instead of making an accusation about how close they are.

People are touchy about parental names and I think it’s really normal for him to be hurt by that. He shouldn’t have involved other people in the argument and should respect his daughter is old enough care about multiple people as parents but quite frankly I think you need a bit more empathy in this situation.

He’s obviously still involved in his child’s life and loves her – it doesn’t matter what happened between you guys but their relationship and it’s not easy to watch someone else be in your spot as well