AITA for letting girls stay at my son’s sleepover?

‘ AITA for letting girls stay at my son’s sleepover?’

My (f42) son (m15) wanted to have a sleepover with a bunch of his friends before school started back up next week. Me and my husband agreed as long as we got all his friends parents phone numbers and that all his friends got permission to come. My son has a fairly large friend group of maybe eight people and six were coming over, four boys and two girls

When the sleepover came everyone had fun until around 11pm when the first girl left. I assumed that the second girl was going to leave soon as well, but she told me that her mom said that she could stay and I figured I could just set up the guest room and call it a day.Everything fine until the next morning when I woke up to multiple calls and texts from the girls mother.

I called her back and she answered screaming at me saying “how could I let a girl stay with all those boys” and “I should’ve just drove her home when it was getting late” even though that had never been discussed. I reminded her that her daughter lied about having permission but she wouldn’t listen to anything.

Now my husband is saying he felt uncomfortable with her staying the night and the other parents are saying it was a bad call on my part. So AITA?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

ExpensivePanda66 −  NTA. Why didn’t the girl’s mother physically come over to collect her daughter if it was such a big deal?

Fit-Profession-1628 −  NTA. She went over for a sleepover and stayed for a sleepover. I don’t even understand why she needed a separate room.

Isn’t one of the points of a sleep over to be all together all up talking until you fall asleep? If the mother had an issue with her staying late she should have told you herself or gotten off her ass and picked her daughter up.

Longjumping-Lab-1916 −  Info did she stay in the guestroom?  Where did her mother think she was? In any case, the girl’s mother is carries most of the blame.  She should know where her daughter is and who she’s with.

Probably if I was in your shoes I would have driven her home but I know most parents wouldn’t have.  But knowing how randy hormone-fueled teenagers are, imo, you shouldn’t have let her stay. If her daughter lied to her as well as you, she’s got a problem 15yo on her hands. I hope nothing “happened” or you may not have heard the last of this.. ESH

LilmissIrish −  No, you’re not the AH. Her child, her responsibility to come get her. You accommodated her staying there and being separated from the boys. That’s more than I would’ve done. At that age, I crashed at my guy friend’s houses several times and nothing ever happened.

Serious-Business5048 −  NTA, just a bit too trusting. As s father of a 15 year old, it is my common practice to double check with the host parents regarding any sleep over to ensure that I am clear on the attendees, activities and arrangements, 15 year olds sometimes omit details when asking for permission.

In the situation, it was the mom of the girl that should have check in with you on the details, however, given that she was the only female to stay the night, probably not a bad idea if you had reached out to her mom to double check. Parenting is an art not a science.

Brief_Background_109 −  If she was that worried about her daughter, she could have come over and picked her up.

nutty_cake −  NTA – we have had kids over like this boys get one room girls another for sleeping time. I am up super early and my husband is up super late it would be very hard to anything to happen as we are on it during those kind of evenings.

We check in with parents to be sure they know where the kids are. And I happily field calls from their parents for any questions.
This mom didn’t even check how the arrangements were made and I think she is over the top but also remember she is scared and trying to protect her child in her mind it’s the idea of perceived issues.

Anyhow I think you did great girl got separate place to sleep. Your husband has issues with a child sleeping over maybe he needs to check himself on why that is !

carton_of_cats −  NTA. I admit it was negligent of me to not check in with her mom Maybe, but it was also negligent of her mom to go to bed without making sure she knew where her daughter was. Maybe I was just lucky, but my mom never went to sleep until I came in and told her I made it home.

Should you have texted the girl’s mom to make sure she had permission to sleep over? Yes— it’s always good to be on the safe side, and now you know for next time. However, the phone works two ways and she clearly had your contact info.

If she didn’t want her daughter sleeping over, she should’ve communicated that with you rather than assuming you’d read her mind and do what she expected.

Emotional_Citron9398 −  NTA the mother of that girl is a different kind of parent than you and that doesn’t make you a bad parent.
But my question is what that girl said to her parents after she wasn’t coming home. Like what was her plan lol? To just say f**k it and hope for the best?

Did she communicate with her mom before coming over to this sleepover? Did the mom think she was at your house or did she lie about where she was?

If the mom knew it was a sleepover or hangout or whatever then it’s not your fault for choosing to let her stay and not drive her home lol. Her mom could’ve picked her up if she felt so strongly about not letting her daughter stay at your house. Why are you the only one to blame here? And now other parents are in on this and shaming you too? That’s unfair.

Independent-Owl2514 −  NTA. Everyone is focusing on how you should’ve checked bc teenagers lie. Dumb. More importantly, didn’t the girl’s mom know where she was? Did she have any issue with her hanging out with boys?

Did she have a curfew in place the daughter missed? Did she try contacting her daughter or you when she determined the daughter was out too late? Her daughter is her responsibility, not yours. She’s just looking to point blame somewhere else after she slipped up.