AITA for leaving the hospital after my husband called for his mom instead of me?
Coming out of anesthesia is a confusing and disorienting experience, and many people say things they don’t even remember. It’s a vulnerable moment that requires patience and understanding from loved ones.
OP’s husband underwent surgery, and when he woke up groggy and calling for his mother, the nurse allowed his mom to be the one visitor. Feeling ignored and unappreciated, OP decided to leave the hospital early instead of staying to support him. Now, her in-laws are calling her petty, but was her reaction justified, or did she make the moment all about herself?
‘AITA for leaving the hospital after my husband called for his mom instead of me?’
Expert Analysis
This isn’t about favoritism—it’s about how the brain reacts under anesthesia.
Anesthesia and Cognitive Disorientation
Dr. Robert Glatter, an emergency physician, explains that patients waking from anesthesia often experience confusion, disorientation, and revert to childhood instincts. Many people call out for their mothers, even if they have strong relationships with spouses. It’s not a conscious decision but a reflex tied to deep-seated memories.
OP’s Emotional Reaction vs. Reality
It’s understandable that OP felt left out after waiting all day, but her husband’s behavior was not intentional. Instead of staying to support him, she left out of frustration, which comes across as self-centered rather than concerned for his health.
Psychologist Dr. Lisa Firestone states that feeling ignored can trigger insecurity, but mature relationships require empathy and patience in difficult moments. Instead of assuming rejection, OP could have reminded herself that her husband wasn’t in control of his actions.
What Should OP Have Done Differently?
- Recognized that her husband had no control over his reaction.
- Stayed to support him once he was fully conscious.
- Not turned this into a personal slight, especially in front of in-laws.
What OP Can Do Now:
- Apologize to her husband for leaving when he needed support.
- Acknowledge that his reaction wasn’t a slight against her.
- Use this as a learning moment for future situations requiring patience.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
OP’s feelings of frustration and disappointment were understandable, but her reaction was misplaced. Her husband’s response under anesthesia wasn’t personal, and by leaving instead of staying to support him, she made the situation about herself rather than his recovery.
What do you think? Was OP justified in feeling hurt, or was her reaction overly emotional and unfair? Let us know below!