AITA for leaving the dry wedding wedding early to go to go out.?

A Redditor shares their experience attending a wedding that turned out to be a dry event due to the groom’s sobriety, a detail they were unaware of before arriving. Feeling disappointed and bored, the user, along with their husband and other friends, decided to leave early for a night out, skipping the after-party.

This decision upset the bride, who felt unsupported and believed they were disrespecting her husband’s recovery. The Redditor argues that they simply wanted to enjoy their time away from the kids. To understand the full context of this wedding dilemma, read the original story below.

 

‘ AITA for leaving the dry wedding wedding early to go to go out.?’

So 2 weeks ago I 35f went to a wedding in our college town for a member of our college friend group. My husband and I left the kids with my parents and we went. We got a Vrbo with another couple I went to college with for a few days. My husband and I don’t have a ton of time to ourselves away from the kids so we were excited to let loose.

On the invitation it said the wedding went to 11 with an after party with the bride and groom at the venue.  The venue was a gorgeous mansion and the bride and groom had it for the night, they were leaving for the honeymoon the next morning. Cut to wedding day and it’s a dry wedding. Apparently the groom is 2 years sober.

No one told us this and we were admittedly bummed. When we found out there was no alcohol we told people we were going to some bars after and not going to the after party. We left the wedding at 9:30 because we were itching to go out and the wedding was boring.

Pretty much the whole college crew left around that time and went out. Apparently, the bride’s friend group did not stay for the party, the grooms did and the optics were very lopsided at the party. We all heard from the bride about this and she called us assholes for leaving.

She said that she didn’t feel supported and felt like we were spiteing her now husband for his sobriety. I told her that she was reading too much into  it. We just wanted to go out. She is especially mad at me as i’m looked at as the ringleader of this outing. I don’t think i’ve done anything wrong AITA?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

starbiebarbie99 −  YTA – You are going to get a lot of “if you can’t have fun without alc then you have a serious addiction problem and you s**k” crowd but I don’t agree with that sentiment at all and I think it misses the point entirely so I want to be clear that’s not why I’m voting YTA.

I do think that couples should disclose that ahead of time so that people can plan for it since alcohol at weddings is the norm. **But you are an a**hole for this: “we told people we were going to some bars after and not going to the after party.  We left the wedding at 9:30″**

You were talking s**t AT HER WEDDING, and then you formed a whole group to leave her party early. That’s a bad friend. Skipping her dry after party to go out after would be totally fine, expected even, but to leave the wedding early and bringing a group with you??? Yeah, you s**k super super hard.

She is trying to support her now husband and she’ll be supporting him like that during the whole marrige and you couldn’t even support your friend for 1.5 more hours? Life isn’t about only ever doing what you want to do. You are running on a greedy algorithm, only choosing what makes you happy in the moment, others be damned, and that’s not what makes a good person.

Sometimes we have to sit through long ceremonies for our siblings. Sometimes we have to go to boring art shows for our friends. Sometimes we have to participate in boring parties to celebrate the people we love. Get over it!

Alternative-Gur-6208 −  I’d like to call you, N T A. Had you just left quietly and not talked about it with groups of ppl you would have gotten that judgment.
Unfortunately YTA. you told all the friends that this sucked and you were leaving to go get drunk, and became a ringleader for the group of friends to follow.

I get it weddings can be boring and drag on. I went to a wedding (marriage didn’t last longer than the wedding) the wedding started at 4pm, very little food provided at the intermission before the reception. (Only cucumber wedges with cream cheese idk why) by 10:30 the dinner hadn’t started we ran to a diner and found other wedding guests (a complete surprise but we all laughed it off) 

Ok-Acanthaceae5744 −  YTA – That’s kind of a crappy way to treat a “friend.” Basically you all abandoned the wedding celebration, and I’m guessing she was looking forward to celebrating her wedding with her “friends.” Hence why you were invited. And it was a reasonable expectation of hers that you actually wanted to celebrate her marriage, since you went.

Honestly, you should go to weddings to celebrate and support the marriage of the friends and/or family, drinking should never a necessity. Even if you were bummed about the alcohol, celebrating and being happy for your friend would take priority over you getting drunk.

tralfamadoriest −  YTA. I’m going to get downvoted because people seem to hate dry weddings, but as someone with a partner in recovery, I will never understand why people can’t go without for one night to support someone you supposedly care about. You picked getting drunk over spending time with your friends for the entire reason you were out to begin with.

Argylesox95 −  YTA – “We got a Vrbo with another couple I went to college with for a few days.” So you are also on a trip where you guys can drink on other days, not just the wedding day. “we told people we were going to some bars after and not going to the after party.

We left the wedding at 9:30 because we were itching to go out and the wedding was boring.” You guys stared this and ruined the after party for the bride. you guys were crappy friends to her.

kevin2357 −  NTA. 10pm is a perfectly reasonable time to leave a wedding. Some guests started filtering out of my wedding at like 8:00 and I didn’t cry about it; just hugged them and sincerely thanked them for coming

bartkurcher −  NTA for leaving. I suppose it would be polite to NOT say anything when you’re going. But I don’t think leaving a wedding at 9:30pm is an AH move. If you were going to pick up your kids or something, I don’t think she’d be upset.

She’s upset because she’s embarrassed. And she’s only embarrassed because ALL her friends left. You’re not responsible for everyone’s actions. Also I’ve never heard of a wedding “after party”

menthepoivree −  INFO: When did the wedding start and/or how long were you there for? 11 pm sounds pretty late for a wedding to end in my experience, especially if it was dry. I can’t imagine asking most of my relatives to stay out even close to that late.

M1eXcel −  NTA 9:30 is a perfectly reasonable time to leave an event. At my wedding, we had people leaving earlier than that for various reasons, and it’s perfectly ok. If you’re planning something that’s lasting until late at night, it’s your job as a host to entertain your guests. If they aren’t entertained and leaving on mass before it’s over, then it’s on you

WhyCommentQueasy −  NTA, that’s what happens when you surprise guests with a dry wedding.

Do you think the user and their friends were wrong to leave the wedding early, or were they justified in wanting to enjoy their time away from home? How would you have handled a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!