AITA for leaving significant facial scarring uncovered on a plane and being confrontational when a father asked me to cover it because it was scaring his son?
A Reddit user shares their experience of being asked by a father on a flight to cover their healing facial scars because it was upsetting his child. Despite following medical advice to leave the scars uncovered for proper healing.
The father insisted, prompting the user to defend themselves and their appearance. The situation escalated, leaving the user feeling hurt and wondering if they overreacted. Read the original story below…
‘ AITA for leaving significant facial scarring uncovered on a plane and being confrontational when a father asked me to cover it because it was scaring his son?’
I sustained very bad injuries to my face this month. I’m in the stage of healing when the scar tissue has formed, but it’s still very tender “new skin”. I’m going to have very obvious facial scarring for the rest of my life. The injury starts about an inch above my hairline, goes down over my brow so that on part, hair will not grow.
It continues down my cheek where it is deepest; I’ll always probably have an indentation in the fullest part of my cheek. Then it continues to my jawline. In some ways it’s OK. I’m happy it’s just cosmetic damage. My friends are super reassuring, telling me how badass and sick it’s gonna look.
They say I’m still as hot as ever, now a little more sexy and mysterious lol. But in some ways it really sucks… I know that I’m always gonna be seen first as “the girl with the scar” and it feels especially bad when people look at me differently. This week, I had to fly home for a family thing; it was a plan I’d made long before my injury.
I wasn’t really looking forward to the pity or people making a big deal of it; I’d rather it not be acknowledged. I’d also met with my dermatologist who said that I was at the stage of scar tissue formation that I no longer should be dressing the wounds; the skin was healing and instead I needed to be applying topical cream and Vaseline to keep the site clean and moist.
It also looks a bit u**y; the building scar tissue is very red and tender, and with the Vaseline over it, looks slick and shiny. So I get on this flight; I have the window seat and I put on my headphones and drift off to sleep when the plane is still boarding. I wake up to this kid, maybe 4 years old, sat next to me, throwing a tantrum.
I didn’t catch the first part of it and I honestly couldn’t understand what he was yelling about… His father said to me, “Can you cover that injury?” I said that my dermatologist recommends I don’t, so no I don’t think I will. He started snapping at me saying “there is no need to be so rude. That injury is graphic and it’s scaring my little one.”
I said “this is my face. The only damn face I’ve got. It sucks being told I’m so u**y I can’t show my g**damn face in public.” He started to backtrack saying “just until it’s healed” and I said “it’ll always be with me. Maybe teach some f**king compassion and respect instead of telling a girl half your damn age what you think about her face. That’s rude.
He actually got up after that and I think went to a stewardess about a seat change because a young couple came to sit next to me on a few minutes instead. I’ve gotta admit I felt so low that I put on my sunglasses and had a quiet cry for a few minutes. AITA for not covering my healing scar, and for being confrontational about it?
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
rckblykitn14 − Dear god no you’re absolutely NTA. People that are that heartless shouldn’t be allowed in public. Jfc. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
It does sound like it looks pretty badass, for the record! Rock what you got girl! 🤘🏻
eatshittpitt − That dude is the a**hole! You did nothing wrong. Okay kid, you’re afraid. Time for a life lesson. To turn it around on you and insist YOU are responsible for ensuring the comfort of his kid makes me sick. And I would have been far more blunt with that father.
Does the same apply if you were an amputee? Had extreme psoriasis or another skin disorder? Where does it end? Shall we place everyone who looks a little different down in the baggage hold to ensure we don’t upset anyone?
If it truly bothered him to that extent he could have quietly asked the stewardess for help and not upset you. People can be rude, selfish and flat out arseholes and I’m sorry you got stuck beside one. Good luck in the healing process!!
positivechickpea − NTA – what kind of a**hole makes a comment like that? Nice that he is teaching his son to be afraid of people who look different. I am sorry this happened to you.
[Reddit User] − Absolutely 100% NTA. I understand the kid was young, but dad could have used it as a teaching moment, like you said, and showed some compassion. I remember vividly as a child, my niece rudely pointing out someone’s disability in a similar fashion (more curious than afraid granted)
and my mom took the time to tell her it was rude to loudly point things out about people, asked her how she would feel is someone started loudly commenting on her, and explained everyone is different and that is okay. She never did it again and she was like, 7. Dad could have also quietly asked to move seats without even involving you as well. He chose to be the a**hole here.
[Reddit User] − NTA. Dad could have used it as an opportunity to teach his kid about real life. Personally, I’d be telling people I am a retired pirate.
karmaismydawgz − NTA. Hang in there and keep fighting the fight. Based upon that story you’re strong. Continue to build on that strength each day.
cyfermax − NTA. There’s just no other way I can see this. He called you out for something beyond your control. He missed an opportunity to show compassion and teach his kid how to communicate with others.
CarterCage − I love how you snapped him out of it by pointing he is commenting on a younger girls face… Not even a little bit of AH, you taught him a lesson he should taught his son… And btw the scar sounds hot aka you… :). NTA…. Edit: Spelling…
DiagonKitty − I question the authenticity of any post that includes dialogue, but NTA – You’ll have this (badass sounding) scar for the rest of your life and need to get used to it now, plus your dermatologist says it should be getting open air.
If the kid is oh so scared of your scar, the dad could have switched seats with him. On top of that, a scar is one of the least frightening things that kid is ever going to have to deal with.
Darth_Mufasa − NTA. F**k that guy and good on you for firing back at him. Between that confidence/attitude and the scar I think your friends are right about the sexy badass vibe you’ll have going on
Do you think the Reddit user was right to stand their ground about not covering their scars, or should they have considered the father’s request to avoid upsetting the child? How would you handle a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!