AITA for leaving my husband by leaving a note on his PS5, since it’s the only thing he pays attention to?

When the smallest details in a marriage turn into loud, final declarations, sometimes the only way to be heard is to leave a note where it cannot be ignored. In this emotionally charged story, a 31-year-old woman recounts how she ended her six-year marriage by leaving a note on her husband Dan’s PS5—a device that, according to her, garnered more attention than she ever did.

Feeling increasingly sidelined and treated like a roommate, she felt that the time had come to reclaim her self-respect and independence. For years, her husband’s priority seemed to be his online gaming and digital escapades, leaving her to shoulder the emotional weight of missed anniversaries, unfulfilled promises, and a lifetime of “later” that never arrived.

In a final act of defiant honesty, she left behind a note that not only detailed her grievances but also outlined the practical steps she’d taken—packing up her belongings, canceling utilities in her name, and even pre-paying her share of the rent for two months. Now, with her soon-to-be ex-husband left with nothing but a string of question marks in his texts, she wonders if her bitter-cutting stand was justified or if she went too far.

‘ AITA for leaving my husband by leaving a note on his PS5, since it’s the only thing he pays attention to?’

Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist known for her work on relationship boundaries, states, “When a partner feels consistently devalued and overlooked, especially over a long period, it’s not uncommon for them to reach a breaking point. In cases like this, where one partner’s behavior—such as prioritizing gaming over meaningful connection—has eroded the foundation of trust and mutual respect, a decisive, if harsh, statement can be a catalyst for necessary change.”

She further explains, “It’s important to recognize that leaving a note is not merely about venting anger. It is often a cry for acknowledgement and a demand for self-respect. The individual in this case has clearly communicated her need to be treated as more than an afterthought. While some may view her approach as abrupt, her actions are rooted in years of unmet emotional needs.”

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman adds, “A healthy relationship depends on both partners feeling valued and heard. When one partner is repeatedly sidelined, even seemingly minor incidents—like neglecting an anniversary or ignoring emotional distress—can accumulate over time. Her note represents a final ultimatum, a way of saying that the status quo is no longer acceptable. Although the tone is bitter, it underscores the reality that without mutual commitment and change, the relationship cannot survive.”

Both experts agree that while her method may seem extreme, it reflects deep-seated pain and a desperate need for validation. They suggest that ideally, couples therapy might help resolve such issues, but when repeated disappointments have led to irreversible damage, a clear break—though painful—is sometimes the healthiest course of action.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Several redditors expressed support for her decision. One user commented, “If your husband’s PS5 gets more love than you do, you deserve to reclaim your life. Your note was raw, honest, and a necessary wake-up call. You’re not the asshole for demanding the respect you deserve.”

Another group shared personal experiences, with one commenter stating, “I’ve been in a relationship where my partner’s digital life always came first, and eventually, I had to choose myself. Sometimes you have to leave to be truly heard, even if it hurts. Your actions, though bitter, are completely understandable.”