AITA for leaving my cheating boyfriend and then rejecting his “I messed up” apology?

A Reddit user shares her dilemma after ending her two-year relationship with her boyfriend due to his emotional infidelity with an ex. Despite his apologies and attempts to reconcile — and even their friends urging her to reconsider — she feels resolute in her decision to move on. Now, she’s wondering if she’s being too “cold” or “unforgiving.” Read her story below.

‘ AITA for leaving my cheating boyfriend and then rejecting his “I messed up” apology?’

I (22F) was dating him (25M) for almost two years. We met in college, he was super charming, sweet – you know, the whole “dream boyfriend” package. Or so I thought. A few weeks ago, I found out he was messaging his ex, and not just friendly catch-ups. There were heart emojis, late-night texts, and even some “I miss you” lines. When I confronted him, he denied everything, saying it was “nothing” and “just a joke.”

I couldn’t believe it. After a ton of g**lighting and “babe, you’re overreacting” nonsense, I broke it off. I packed up his stuff, left it outside his door, and blocked him everywhere. But here’s where it gets weird – he actually write me a letter apologizing, saying he’d “changed” and “realized his mistakes.” He even got some of our friends to text me, saying I should “give him another chance.”

I shut it down hard, told them this was between me and Jake, and moved on. Now everyone’s acting like I’m being “cold” and “unforgiving.” So, AITA for cutting him out completely and not even giving his apology a chance?

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Yupkook −  Absolutely NTA. You found out he was being deceptive, and instead of owning up to it, he tried to gaslight you and downplay your feelings. That’s a huge betrayal, especially after nearly two years together. He had plenty of chances to be honest with you and to respect your boundaries, but he chose not to.

When he finally apologized, it seems more like he was just upset about losing you, not truly recognizing the hurt he caused. His attempt to rope in friends to pressure you into forgiveness? That’s m**ipulative and dismissive of your right to make your own choices.

Standing up for yourself in a tough situation isn’t being “cold” or “unforgiving” – it’s protecting yourself from someone who disrespected you. How do *you* feel about moving forward without him?

cozying_avax −  NTA. You respected yourself by leaving and staying strong.

Ready-Zombie5635 −  NTA – you did the right thing. That ex-girlfriend of his is going nowhere fast and he is always going to mess you about if you take him back. In fact, if you do, you are just giving him permission to do it again. He’ll think, OP will just forgive me when she finds out. You don’t want that, move on and find someone better.

Surprised_Asparagus −  NTA. It’s so ridiculous for him to say he’s changed and inviting third parties into this in order to sway you is m**ipulative. It’s often hard to accept a relationship is over when it started so positively. I’m going through this now too.

sexybabehinata −  you are doing what’s best for your emotional health by cutting him out of your life. You deserve a partner who respects you and your boundaries, and it’s completely understandable that you would want to move on from someone who betrayed your trust. Stick to your decision and surround yourself with those who support your choice.

Middleburg_Gate −  There are billions of people in this world. You’ll both eventually find folks better-suited to have a relationship with. You did the right thing.

Neither_Pop3543 −  Wait, so he basically admits he WAS cheating, but without actually owning up to it? Because if he truly had done nothing, and you had been overreacting, then what would he be apologizing for? What exactly does he think his mistake was?. NTA

Nobody_asked_me1990 −  NTA. He only apologized because he got caught.. Loving your self respect.

Con4America −  Once a c**ater, always a c**ater is a good rule to live by.

Electrichead64 −  NTA. He wasn’t upset over losing you, he was upset over losing access to s** with you.

Do you think she’s right to shut him out completely, or should she give him a chance to apologize and explain his behavior? Is she being “cold,” or simply standing up for herself? Share your thoughts below!