AITA for leaving home after my partner let his son invite 5 friends for a sleepover when I’m recovering from major surgery, without discussing it with me first?

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A Reddit user shares their frustration after their partner allowed his son to invite five friends for a sleepover while they were recovering from major surgery. The user had no prior knowledge of the sleepover and felt blindsided by their partner’s decision.

Despite feeling upset and needing rest, the partner didn’t see the issue and suggested the user leave the house to stay with family. The user is now questioning whether their reaction was too extreme and if they were wrong to leave. To read the full story, see the original post below…

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‘ AITA for leaving home after my partner let his son invite 5 friends for a sleepover when I’m recovering from major surgery, without discussing it with me first?’

I (44F) had major surgery last week. I am home recovering and off work for 2 weeks, with 4-6 weeks recommended before resuming life relatively ‘normally’. My partner (42M) informed me late yesterday afternoon that his son (13M) was having 5 friends for a sleepover tonight.

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It’s now Saturday where I live. I had no prior knowledge that he’d allowed his son to organise this and it’s for no special reason, it’s just because. I was instantly upset. I asked why he would agree to that not only without speaking to me first but also when I’m just home from hospital and recovering from major surgery.

His response was that he didn’t think it would affect me and he just forgot to mention it. I started crying, saying that I felt so uncared for and that he was being inconsiderate of my healing and recovery. He continued to reiterate that he didn’t see how it should affect me and that it wasn’t a big deal.

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He suggested that if it bothered me that much, I could go and stay at my Mums for the night. I didn’t wait until the next day (today, Saturday), I packed a suitcase and drove myself to my Mums right then. Even though I’m not supposed to be driving yet.

He has sent messages saying I’m over reacting and that he still doesn’t think it’s a big deal. I don’t understand how he thinks an additional 5 teenage boys in a house with 1 toilet and the living space right next to our bedroom where I’m supposed to be resting and recovering, won’t affect me.

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AITA for leaving right away, when in fact, I don’t think I should have left at all. I think the sleepover should have been cancelled for another time?

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

DS3333 −  NTA, what’s wrong with him? Is he usually so thoughtless? Is he the type that because he is not currently recovering from major surgery that he can’t use his empathy and imagine what that would be like for you?

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Have a good look at his past behaviour – is this a common theme for him? Because if it is, you deserve better. Hope you’re healing well and speedily.

diminishingpatience −  NTA. His response was that he didn’t think it would affect me and he just forgot to mention it.. He’s either a l**r or an i**ot.

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he thinks an additional 5 teenage boys in a house with 1 toilet and the living space right next to our bedroom where I’m supposed to be resting and recovering, won’t affect me.. I’m going with i**ot.

redelectro7 −  Stay at your mum’s house, there’s nothing left for you back there.

ProfMG −  NTA and I hope you’ll post an update about 1- how he handled all the chaos 2-the state of the house after the sleep over and who cleaned it,

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3- your thoughts on the long term viability of a relationship with someone who is this oblivious to your needs, and 4 – anything else that happens as a result of you going to your mom’s (which I think was a good call)

EJ_1004 −  NTA. I think you should go back and get the rest of your stuff.

Far_Quantity_6133 −  NTA. In the wake of a major surgery, your husband should be doing everything in his power to ensure that you’re comfortable and that you have a peaceful place to recover. Instead, he decided to have 5 teenagers over.

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You are in no state to be hosting a party and that decision was either very stupid or very ignorant on his behalf. I’m sorry to break it to you, but your husband either A.) doesn’t care about your recovery nearly as much as he should, or B.) has no idea what post-op recovery requires and refuses to believe you when you tell him what you need.

needabook55 −  NTA. The part where he is sending you messages about you overreacting is probably because he thought you would stay at the house and take care of the kids, even though you are recovering from surgery.

Now he had to stay with the kids and take care of them all. Does your partner always take advantage of you and not communicate?

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whyohwhy4068 −  I have teenage sons. Five extra is actually less work. They barely leave each others side. All hubby needs to do is provide food at regular intervals. Having said that, hell no whilst you’re recovering from surgery. NTA

Shatner_Stealer −  NTA. I am f**king BOILING. Absolutely f**k that dude straight to f**k. Sorry for all the swears. I am RAGING OUT over here.

AriDiamondGold −  He doesn’t want to be with you and is waiting for you d**p him.

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Do you think the Redditor’s reaction was justified, or do you believe the partner’s actions were reasonable considering the circumstances? How would you handle a situation like this if you were in the Reddit user’s shoes? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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