AITA for leaving a family gathering because my family made me sit at the kid table?

A Reddit user (22M) shared his frustration about being asked to sit at the “kid’s table” during a family gathering, despite being an adult. When his aunt insisted that only family members with children of their own could sit at the adult table, the user felt disrespected, grabbed the quiche he brought, and left the event. His family has since texted him to return, but he’s standing his ground, unsure if he overreacted or if he was justified in walking away from what he perceived as a lack of respect. Read the full story below and decide for yourself.

‘ AITA for leaving a family gathering because my family made me sit at the kid table?’

For context: I haven’t seen my full family together in quite some time, so they set up a get together at a park today. The family gathering includes me (22m), my brother (21), my sister (25), her husband (29) and their two kids, my dad, step-mom and her kids (6 and 9) aunt, uncle, my two cousins (15 and 20), grandma, and grandpa.

I get there with some picnic items (I brought a quiche and the cups) and see a few members setting up. I say hi and help set up the tables and set the food out. We talk and play games while the others show up. When everyone gets there, we sit down to eat. I sit next to my dad and get a weird look from my aunt as she says to me, “this is the adult’s table.”

To which I reply, “I am an adult(?).” She tells me that the 1st and 2nd generations are considered adult and the 3rd and 4th generations should sit at the kid’s table since we “don’t have much to contribute to adult conversations.” I tell her that I can drink, that I drove here, that I pay rent and have a job, so how am I still considered a child? She says that until I have kids of my own I’ll have to sit at the kid’s table.

According to my aunt, there are 8 children (ages 6-22) and 8 adults (ages 25-75) so I should just sit at the kid’s table since it’ll be even, but there is plenty of space at the adult table and I don’t want to be stuck with 5 literal children. She still disagrees and at this point my uncle and grandparents back her up, so I say f**k it, take my quiche back, tell them to have a nice day, and drive away. I get a few texts telling me to come back by my dad and grandparents.

I ask if aunt is going to apologize and they ask “for what?” That was enough for me to disregard their other messages and calls until I got home, where I am now. I feel s**tty that I may have possibly ruined a nice family gathering, but feel my family doesn’t respect me at all, enough to say that I am still a child and apparently have the same mentality as 6 year olds. AITA?

Edit: This really blew up! Thanks for the awards and all the positive comments. And no, this doesn’t mean that these bridges are burned. Family is family, but I’ll make my own private table with blackjack and hookers next time, with VIP access. Last thing I want to say is that you just lost The Game.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

alsmit250 −  NTA – I love you took your quiche with you too.

HauntinglyEthereal −  NTA. Don’t act dumb and then get mad when people find out. ew though, your aunt is totally an a**hole. They probably want you at the kids table to play babysitter. I would have left too tbh.

Dangerous_Beans74 −  NTA, and your aunt owes you an apology. She seems to think that people aren’t adults until they . . . what? Get married and have kids? As an unmarried, childless person in my late 40s I find that exceptionally and genuinely amusing, and even sort of appreciate that she apparently thinks I’m a kid, but also, she’s objectively completely wrong.

You are an adult not only legally, but by any reasonable standard (except maybe that your prefrontal cortex still has a little growing to do, but that’s whether you’re married and have kids or not, so still defeats her argument). You are NTA, but your aunt is petty and your uncle and grandparents aren’t any better. I’m sure they would have been furious if someone had treated them that way at 22.

MiskiMoon −  NTA. They wanted you to play babysitter

Equivalent_Collar_59 −  NTA. You were just saving the seat at the kids table for your aunt since that where she seems to belong.

Misenica −  NTA. She says that until I have kids of my own I’ll have to sit at the kid’s table. I can’t have children so would I never be regarded as an adult? I’m old enough to both drive a car and then get arrested for it because I can’t drive.

hardcore-xworder −  NTA — Children cannot go to the store and cook a quiche. Sounds like your aunt doesn’t have much to contribute to the adult conversation either.

Major_Stranger −  NTA. Aunt is an a**hole for drawing that kind of line for no purpose. I would have no issue sitting at kid’s table (29m with no children) because I love my nieces and nephew and don’t see them enough but you’re absolutely in the right to be offended by your aunt remark. Forcing that line is just plain a**hole behavior. Anyone pushing arbitrary rule is in my book an a**hole. Let people live and stop trying to control people’s life.

introverted_smallfry −  22 is not a child and saying someone that age has nothing to contribute to a conversation is just rude. NTA and good for you for standing up for yourself. What are they talking about that’s so important that you wont be able to chime in?

Jaded_Cryptographer −  NTA, though I’m not sure why you’d even want to sit at a table with a bunch of assholes who think you have nothing to contribute to a conversation unless you have kids.

Do you think the user was justified in leaving the family gathering after being treated like a child, or did he overreact? How would you handle a situation where your family doesn’t recognize you as an adult? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!