AITA for leaving a birthday dinner I invited the birthday “girl” out to and blocking her?

A woman (OP) invited her husband’s aunt out for a birthday dinner after learning she was spending her birthday alone. However, the plans turned chaotic as the aunt kept changing the time and bringing more people along, eventually expecting a larger group than OP had agreed to.

After waiting at the restaurant and learning that the aunt wasn’t even on her way, OP became frustrated, left, and blocked her aunt on all communication platforms. Now, OP is wondering if she overreacted.

‘ AITA for leaving a birthday dinner I invited the birthday “girl” out to and blocking her? ‘

Let me start by saying that by “girl” I mean a 47 yr old women. Yesterday I realized through FB it was my husband’s aunt birthday. Upon calling her she said nobody had planned anything for her birthday and that she was going to be alone. We invited her out to eat just the three of us(me,husband,her).

I however had an appointment to take my elderly mother too and we wouldn’t make it to the restaurant till 8pm. She hesitated because it was too late to eat but said OK. We went back and forth on a place most of the day. Finally I was fed up and gave her a place to meet us at.

I called again in the afternoon to confirm and we were still on to meet. Long story short, my mom’s appointment gets moved up and we finish faster so I call her to see if she wants to meet up earlier since she made a big deal about the time. She agrees, we decide on 7pm(wow what a difference in time, I know).

Then she asks me if just her or if she can take her daughter and husband. I hesitate but say sure. Mind you I’m paying for this dinner. I tell my son and mom to get ready so they can go aswell since her daughter and husband were going.

I texted her around 6pm that I was picking up mom and son, again she replies OK. Text her again when I’m 20 minutes away from the restaurant, again OK. She lives closer about 10 minutes from the place. I pull up to the restaurant at 7pm sharp.

Now let me say that I love punctuality, I thrive of that s**t. I get that stuff happens sometimes but this wasn’t that time. Anyways, she’s not there. The same person who was nagging me on changing the time, that 8pm was too late for dinner. Blah, blah, blah.

My husband calls her and she says they are still at the house and there has been another change now her other daughter, son in law and brother are coming. Now they’re not gonna be there till after 8pm because they’re stopping to get a cake. WTF. I lost my s**t.

Husband hung up and I called her back to tell her we had left the restaurant. This was not what I had sign up for in the morning and I was not paying for all these people. She kept trying to call me and txt me saying she was so sad about what I had done that she could cry.

I blocked her and son,mom,husband and me went to have $.99 tacos at our local market. Haven’t talked to her and don’t plan on apologizing. So, let me hear it. AITA for leaving and blocking her?

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Mother_Search3350 −  You invited her for dinner because her kids had nothing planned.  She goes on to invite all those kids and hangers on to the dinner and expected you to foot the bill for all of them? She must be out of her damned mind . NTAH 

Dumbfounded_brunette −  No wonder why nobody plans anything for her 😂. NTA 😆

BabyDoll891 −  So, let me get this straight: you invited her to a birthday dinner, she turned it into a family reunion, and then had the audacity to be late? Sounds like she was trying to turn your dinner into a potluck without telling you! 😂

oogleboogleoog −  I get the feeling there’s a pretty good reason as to why nobody else had planned anything for her birthday…

Dapper_Heat_5431 −  NTA. This wasnt an invitation for her to invite a whole other crew of people. You were inviting her out out of the kindness of your heart, and she took it as an opportunity to invite a bunch of other people, doubling the original size of the dinner.

if she had the ability to do this why was she whining about nobody planning anything for her in the first place? I’ve been burned before with trying to help my friend make birthday plans too – she complains every year that she hates her birthday,

and even though she has a partner now (who I think should be the default person to plan the birthday), she says that he’s not a planner and implies through complaining that one of her friends should plan it. So I did that last year, and she had something critical to say about every choice I made,

saying I should also invite this person and that person, and that she doesn’t like a certain restaurant, and that we should also be celebrating another one of her friends at this dinner.

Ugh! Sometimes, I feel like no good deed goes unpunished 😂 anyway, this year I am purposely not planning anything and if her partner reaches out with plans, great, but otherwise… nope

Johnthegiant1 −  NTA. You went out of your way to organize a birthday dinner, adapting to several changes throughout the day. When the plan was altered significantly without your consent, especially regarding the number of guests and the delay in timing, it was reasonable for you to opt out.

It’s essential to maintain boundaries when the scope of your generosity is being taken advantage of, particularly when you are footing the bill. While blocking her may have been a strong step, it’s understandable given the frustration and the lack of consideration for your efforts and time.

Capetakaos −  NTA. You arranged a thoughtful birthday dinner and agreed to adjustments, including time changes and additional guests. However, the situation escalated when more guests were added last minute and they failed to arrive on time, despite earlier concerns about dining too late.

It’s reasonable to feel frustrated and decide not to participate under these changing and increasingly demanding circumstances, especially as you were covering the costs. While blocking her might have been an extreme reaction, your frustration is understandable. Setting boundaries in such situations is important.

Best_Piccolo_9832 −  NTA. If she contacts you again just tell her that it’s unfortunate your plans didn’t align, but the bright side is she luckily was not alone for her birthday and had all her loved ones with her. You’re happy for her they decided to celebrate her 😏

Just avoid the drama, it’s not worth it and you were certainly lucky first of all to see who she is and second to avoid paying a huge bill. They would’ve certainly ordered the priciest items.

Rowana133 −  NTA. You invited HER out. She invited the entire damn family and tried to trick you to paying for a whole family affair.

Helpful-Science-3937 −  She had no one to celebrate with until you are paying and suddenly there is going to be a crowd? NTA Let her daughter and son in law take her out. I also can’t believe they expected you to wait at the restaurant for another hour while her crowd gathers.

Was OP justified in leaving and blocking her aunt after the dinner plans fell apart, or did she overreact? How would you handle a similar situation? Share your thoughts below!