AITA for kicking out my sister after she sabotaged a meeting with a fertility clinic?

A woman (29F) and her wife recently began exploring fertility options to expand their family, which already includes her adopted daughter Lucy (7), originally her sister’s (32F) child. Despite agreeing to the adoption years ago, the sister now objects to the couple having more children, fearing it will take attention away from Lucy.

Tensions escalated when the sister sabotaged an online consultation with a fertility clinic by repeatedly unplugging the WiFi, causing them to miss the session. After confronting her, the woman asked her sister to leave, sparking backlash from family. Now, she’s questioning if she was too harsh. Read the full story below.

‘ AITA for kicking out my sister after she sabotaged a meeting with a fertility clinic?’

8 years ago, my (29f) sister (32f) got pregnant. The father wasn’t involved and my sister didn’t want the baby, but she also couldn’t bring herself to terminate or adopt out to strangers. She approached me and my (now ex) husband, and asked if we would be willing to adopt her child.

We weren’t sure as we were concerned this would lead to issues down the line but my sister insisted that it wouldn’t so we ultimately agreed. Before Lucy was a year old, my husband left us both because my sister lied about Lucy’s father.

When Lucy was 4, I got together with my wife, and we married last year. My sister has said that seeing me and my wife with Lucy (who is now 7) confirms to her that she made the right decision.

When I first adopted Lucy, my husband and I told my sister that we wanted multiple children, which she said she was fine with at the time, but now my wife and I are looking into our options and my sister objects.

My sister has been staying with us since July because her boyfriend kicked her out. She keeps asking Lucy if she’s sure she wants siblings (Lucy has said that she does), and telling us she’s worried we won’t be able to give Lucy what she needs, and then today happened.

We had an online consultation with a fertility clinic to talk about sp**m donation. We told my sister about it and asked her to keep an eye on Lucy while we talked. The wifi went randomly on and off 3 times during the session, booting us out of the call each time.

The third time, my wife went to check it and saw my sister holding the power cord, and Lucy trying to plug it back in. Lucy saw my wife and said “auntie keeps turning the wifi off”. Wife plugged it back in, but we could no longer get into the session and we got an email from the doctor saying that if the wifi is going to be this bad then maybe we should try a more local clinic as we can’t do online consultations.

When we confronted my sister she admitted that she wants Lucy to be an only child so she has 100% of our undivided attention, and then said in a sarcastic tone “forgive me for only wanting what’s best for my daughter” to which we responded that Lucy isn’t her daughter. Things escalated until I said that my sister should go stay with our parents, and my wife drove her to their place.

Since leaving (a few hours ago) she’s apologised and begged to come back, and my parents have also asked me to take her back, but I’ve refused. They’ve all called me an arsehole for kicking my own sister out after one argument, because now she’s unable to get to work (no car and too far to walk) and she’s back in her childhood room while at our place she had a studio to herself behind the house.. AITA?

Check out how the community responded:

Master-Manipulation −  NTA. She messed with the wifi and ruined a consultation that could’ve given your little family a lovely new addition. She ruined and delayed something that was important to your family. Call the clinic back and explain that the wifi problem has been solved and you’d like another consultation

kkeva_ −  NTA, this is grounds for a permanent ban in my opinion, especially with the “my daughter” comment

LordVericrat −  NTA. Once sister adopted Lucy to you, she stopped getting to make these decisions. She is an aunt now, not a mom and gets to make decisions aunt get to make, which emphatically doesn’t include decisions about siblings.

I’m curious about what changed between her being ok with you and your hubby having kids and now that has gotten her acting this way, but it’s ultimately immaterial (my guess is it’s a weird biological thing – she may be worried that if the child is biologically your wife’s then the child would be “unrelated” – you get that kind of stuff from people sometimes).

She’s ta, definitely to the point of being kicked out, and you’re completely 100% in the clear. Have a good day and I hope you are able to reschedule soon to get the ball rolling on a little brother or sister for Lucy.

High_In_The_Instep −  INFO why did the identity of Lucy’s father matter?

hannahsflora −  NTA. Even if your sister hadn’t done the horrible thing she did, it is clear she shouldn’t move back in. She clearly still sees Lucy as “her” daughter, with you and your wife as the caretakers rather than her parents. She seems to think she has an equal voice as to the number of kids in your family, when she has no voice at all.

[Reddit User] −  100% NTA. Your sister on the other hand is behaving like a spoilt b**t chucking a tantrum

taylo168 −  NTA. Like so much NTA I can’t even explain. Shame on your sister. Also mega shame on your parents. It’s not a family’s personal obligation to take on the problems of other members. Your sister and parents have shown themselves to be selfish and m**ipulative. Keep them all at arms length and protect your mental health.

Ayane_Redfield −  NTA. Definitely not. Your sister has lied and has been trying to manipulate you since day 1. Also, do not let your parents guilt trip you into taking her back. So you’re an A for not wanting your sister back, but they don’t want their daughter back too? It’s the pot calling the kettle black.

[Reddit User] −  INFO can you clarify what she did to break up your marriage? Did she say your former husband was the father?

Kissed_By_Fire_X −  NTA. Lucy is not her daughter. You adopted her, YOU are her mother & your sister has no legal rights to make any demands on how she is raised. Is your sister generally an entitled person? If not, it may be that living with Lucy has made her complacent in her position as “mother/aunt”

As awful as it sounds, I think you need to create some separation between your sister & Lucy, at least for a little while. She needs to apologise – GENUINELY apologise – and accept that she cannot behave this way,

she cannot throw it in your face that she is Lucy’s biological parent whenever she doesn’t get her own way, and accept that YOU are Lucy’s mother, YOU will decide what is best for *your* daughter.

In time, when you are comfortable, reintroduce her into Lucy’s life, but be sure to set very firm boundaries & don’t be afraid to cut her off temporarily if she begins to cross boundaries again.

Was this mom right to kick her sister out for sabotaging their fertility meeting, or should she have given her another chance? How would you handle a family member crossing boundaries in such a personal matter? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!