AITA for kicking my sister out of our family dinner after she made a “practical observation”?

A Redditor recounts a tense family dinner where their sister made an incredibly insensitive remark about their grieving brother and sister-in-law, whose baby was recently stillborn. The Redditor decided to kick their sister out to prevent further harm. Read the full story below:

‘ AITA for kicking my sister out of our family dinner after she made a “practical observation”?’

My brother ‘Fred’ and his wife ‘Sarah’, are not very financially stable, so it was a bit of a surprise for my sister, ‘Katie’ and I when they announced that they were pregnant. However, we kept it to ourselves. A few months ago, Katie planned a family trip. Brother and SIL decided to opt out as they were cutting costs for the baby.

At this, mom and dad decided to cancel the trip altogether and have another one later, since mom’s health wasn’t too great either. This greatly irked Katie as she was really looking forward to this trip and made some very unsubtle remarks that Fred and Sarah shouldn’t be having children if they don’t have money. This very clearly upset both of them.

Unfortunately, due to several complications, the baby was stillborn. It has been a month, and my brother and SIL are understandably still devastated. Especially my SIL’s mental health is not very well as of now. Yesterday, I hosted a little family dinner at my home, with sister, brother, SIL and our parents.

Some time before dinner, SIL went to the bathroom, and meanwhile, my husband asked Fred if she was doing well. Before Fred could reply, Katie jumped in and said, “Well, though the loss is very sad, think of this as a good thing. At least you don’t have to worry about money anymore. As I said, you shouldn’t be bringing kids into this world unless you are sure you can provide for them.”

Fred went red-faced and said that they WOULD have been able to provide for their child. They may not have money for extra luxuries, but they would do everything for their child. He was almost crying and purple with anger, so I quickly dragged Katie away to the kitchen and demanded what had possessed her to say something so insensitive.

She got incredibly defensive and said that she had made a very practical observation and she was 100% correct. It was better to see straight than be clouded by emotions. By that time, Sarah had come out of the bathroom and was shocked to see Fred in tears.

She kept on getting hysterical and asking what was wrong. I knew that Katie’s presence would ruin things further, and I asked her to get out. She looked incredibly hurt and angry, but went out anyway.

Fortunately, our parents were late and didn’t have to see the whole spectacle. When they came home and found out what had happened, they were shocked and upset at Katie too, but mom thinks that perhaps I shouldn’t have kicked Katie out like this. AITA?.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

iryngael −  NTA. You did well. Your sister on the other hand, acted as one of the greatest AH ever

BaltimoreBadger23 −  NTA: there’s no silver linings to losing a wanted baby, none! and to suggest any is a particularly special form of cruel. I don’t know if Katie is a particularly immature 24 year old, or if she has some challenges in terms of social interaction, but it sounds like your mother may coddle her as “the baby” based on your mother’s reaction to the incident.

lieunee −  Your observation that Katie upset your guests was 100% correct and your action to expel her from your home was very practical. You saw it straight, not sure why Katie got clouded by emotions over it.. NTA

BeccasBump −  NTA, and I’d permanently disown Katie. There are some things you can never unsay or atone for, and “It’s a good thing your child died” is one of them.

ZookeepergameWise774 −  What an unbelievably callous thing to say.

Kitchen-Arm-3288 −  There is the suggestion to THINK before you say something. That is, is what you are going to say **T**rue, **H**elpful, **I**nspiring, **N**ecessary, & **K**ind. * **True**: Possibly – but I side with Fred’s perspective.. * **Helpful**: No.. * **Inspiring**: To what end!?. * **Necessary**: No.. * **Kind**: Quite the opposite! NTA – and ‘Katie’ is a massive one.

FrolickingTiggers −  NTA. Hopefully she learns some tact in the future. How terrible. I hate self righteous bullies. They excuse such deplorable behavior in the name of our own good. That woman really just implied that the stillborn death of the man’s much anticipated child was a secret silver lining because he was too poor… and heard nothing wrong with what was coming out of her own fool mouth. D**adful person.

LPOLED −  NTA. Katie can stay gone.

angryomlette −  Your sister is not just immature, but also very materialistic, petty and jealous. Looking at the conversation you can easily tell she is petty and weaponizes conversations if it doesn’t satisfy her need for attention. NTA

oscillius −  NTA – it’s not even a practical observation. Their being unable to afford a vacation does not speak of the financial security necessary to have children. Shelter, nutrition, education and love.

If they were unable to provide those it would make for a practical observation. Her comments are callous and cruel and nothing more. You did everything right by evicting them from the situation and I commend you for being a gracious host.

Was the decision to ask the sister to leave justified, or could this have been handled differently? Should “practical observations” ever take precedence over compassion in sensitive situations? Share your perspective below!