AITA for kicking my sister out of my house over a garden?
A Redditor shares a challenging situation involving his sister and fiancée. His sister has been living with him for six years, but when his fiancée, Amy, moved in and decided to turn the yard into a garden, a major conflict erupted. Amy, who had planned the renovation with the contractors while the Redditor was at work, forgot to inform his sister.
When the sister confronted Amy and created a scene, things escalated, leading the police to remove Amy temporarily. The Redditor returned home to find his sister upset about the yard changes and, after a heated discussion, decided it was time for her and her children to move out. Now, he’s questioning if he was in the wrong for prioritizing his fiancée over his sister. Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for kicking my sister out of my house over a garden?’
My sister has lived with me since she was a teen mom. She has her own little space for her and her kids. It’s my house. I own it. My fiancee Amy moved in and as my wife Amy can remodel the home as she likes. Amy and I have been together for 4 years. My sister has lived with me for 6.
My sister and Amy got in this huge argument over ripping out my grass where her kids play and making a garden that will bloom next spring. Amy had discussed this with me and it was agreed on. Because of our different schedules we forgot about my sister and telling her about the garden.
Amy took a few days off from work to meet with the contractors for the initial digging up the yard. This happened while I was at work. My sister made a scene with the contractors and yelled at Amy. Amy told my sister that it’s time for her to move out and get on with her own life.
I have been supporting her and her kids for too long. A neighbor got involved and called the police saying Amy wasn’t authorized to have the contractors dig up the yard. Amy was asked to leave the property by the police with an overnight bag.
This was a supervised by the police because I was not reachable at work. My sister told me “can you believe this b**ch ripping up the yard like that” I have to leave work and take my hour commute home to deal with my sister.
I told her it’s time for her to move out and she should have never been involved with the garden. It wasn’t her place. It’s not her f**king home. My sister was complaining that her boys love to play in that patch of grass and she can’t believe I would make changes to her play area without consulting her.
Amy is f**king pissed at my sister and the neighbor. The neighbor tried to apologize but I had to tell the neighbor there is no more coming over because she will be trespassed and she had no business calling the police and making the situation worse. The neighbor explained she didn’t know Amy was authorized to make those changes and I told the neighbor too f**king bad.
She’s banned from the property even though she’s friends with my sister and their kids play together. I told my sister that her and the boys have to go and she needs to be out by the New Year or will take legal action on her.
My sister keeps crying and apologizing but her actions showed Amy what her married life would be like with my sister lived with us and I’m putting my wife first and my sister has to go.
Here’s the comments of Reddit users:
SuperbPotential2610 − NTA. You took your sister in because she was a teen mom and supported her financially, as I understand it, for at least six years. You talk about kids, plural, among other things: did she get pregnant after moving in with you? I also have to wonder: what about the father? Your parents?
Regardless of the answers, your sister has behaved very badly.
She’s a guest in your house, she’s being supported, and she even has the nerve to meddle in your future wife’s renovations? The one you’ve been with for four years now? ‘E**itled’ doesn’t go far enough in this case. Not to mention the neighbour… nosy and inappropriate. You did well across the board. I only feel sorry for the children, who will suffer the most from the tantrums of these two.
Shichimi88 − Nta. The neighbor overstepped. You’ve had too much grace for your sister. Start the eviction notice now officially, or she’ll squat.
Leading_Durian5855 − Send your sister a notice to quit with her expected move out date listed. Looking up legally evicting someone because if you want her out by new year, starting the process now is essential. Basically if she doesn’t move out by new year, the notice to quit will have already been served saving you months of living with her while you evict her. NTA, she has been given plenty of time to vacate. She’s not a teen anymore.
-Jewelz- − NTA – So if I’m reading this correctly, she moved in with you as a teen mom and has had more children since living with you. She isn’t financially independent but has continued to make babies. It is definitely time for her to step out on her own and support the family she has created. You also gave her PLENTY of notice, that was very kind.
On the bright side, it sounds like she has friends maybe she can move in with one of them. Make sure you get everything in writing. If she is willing to make a scene in the neighborhood and talk to the cops to have your fiancé thrown out, no telling what she will do down the line. Good on you for sticking up for your future wife.
Salty-Initiative-242 − ESH I keep typing and deleting. This whole situation is messy. So your sister is basically your tenant; you don’t indicate that she pays rent, but still, six YEARS of living there with her own little space as you call it. And suddenly with no notice or consideration you’re digging up part of her space.
That was an AH move. Like, you don’t have to ask her opinion or permission, it IS your house. But it takes ages to find the workers and get the quotes and in all that time you didn’t have a minute to tell her? Please. Amy decides to evict your sister in the middle of the argument instead of de-escalating, and Amy is half of the duo that didn’t find a moment to give your sister a heads up.
She’s not blameless in this mess, but more so than your side of this family drama. Sister is most of the problem; she got waaay too comfortable considering your house her home and expecting nothing to change with your marriage, and she’s placing blame on Amy and calling her names when she should be talking this out with you.
Neighbor is problematic but this sounds like quite a to-do taking place on your front lawn. Still, she had to have known Amy probably DID have the authorization to do this and was sticking her nose in where she shouldn’t.
ckm22055 − NTA! You have made it clear that Amy is your wife. Your sister has gotten so comfortable that she thinks she owns YOUR property just as much you do and can do as she pleases. She has been raising her kids on your dime.
She has lost the idea that she should be grateful bc you gave her something that most single moms don’t have. She has no worries about having to work and provide a roof over his kids’ heads. She doesn’t have to worry that her kids will be fed.
She has NOT one struggle as a single mom. For her to forget what she has been given to her freely and now believes she is e**itled to do what SHE wants on your property has shown it is time for her to leave.
Your wife being escorted out of her home with your sister calling her a b**ch is I can understand that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Also, with your sister out, their is no reason for your neighbor’s children to be on your property anyway. It was none of her damn business what happened on your property.
Finally, your sister isn’t going to leave without a fight. You are going to have to evict her, and I would start that process long before January. Also, your wife will probably demand that she be out sooner than January, and you will have to consider what she wants over your continued generosity for your sister. Sucks to be your sister, but she bought her own ticket out the door.
[Reddit User] − NTA. Sister is delusional AF thinking she has any say over a yard that isn’t hers on property that’s isn’t hers To have the balls to get in a argument with your wife is crazy s**t cause it’s not her f**king place. She got way to comfortable and it’s time for a move
SnarkyBeanBroth − So, you both just “forgot” to tell the folks who actually regularly use the yard that you were getting rid of the yard? Just didn’t remember at all that kids regularly play there, and over all the days it took to a) plan out this garden, b) talk to and select a contractor, and c) actually set up the work order you just never once thought to mention it?
You could have had an honest talk with your sister that you were ready to move onto the next phase of your life, and you want to help her transition to living on her own. But apparently you and Amy needed to be the victims here or something, so you pulled this bizarre stunt? You actively chose a cruel and disruptive way to make this change.
YTA. You totally have the legal right to do whatever you want with your yard. You have the right to decide that six years is long enough and you want your sister to build her own life in a place that isn’t your house.
But you went out of your way to blindside her. It’s likely she even thought she was protecting your house from your not-a-wife-even-though-you-keep-calling her-that tearing up your lawn and damaging your property \*because you kept her completely in the dark about the entire plan\*. You certainly did get a preview of married life. You and Amy certainly seem to deserve each other.
ScarletAndOlive − ESH. Amy – just moved in, hasn’t even updated her drivers license yet and is not married to OP so has no legal standing to kick out a tenant who has been living there for 6 years. Sis – tenant in the house who has no standing to dismiss contractors who are hired by the owner of the house.
OP – biggest AH here. Moved his fiancée in apparently without discussing how that would change the dynamics in the house. Can’t find time to talk to his sister/tenant about work being done at the house.
Waits until there is a massive blow up between his fiancée and his sister, then blames everyone except himself for the current situation. OP is not an AH for telling his sister that she needs to move. He is an AH for his failure to communicate like an adult.
CptAgustusMcCrae − I don’t understand. Did your sister have any inclination prior to this that you didn’t want her living there? She’s been there 6 years and you didn’t tell her you were drastically changing the living space. I have to go with ESH. Yeah, wife can remodel and sister shouldn’t have thrown a fit, but essentially you have a roommate so you guys should have talked to her. And escalating this to kicking her out seems excessive.
Was the user justified in prioritizing his fiancée’s vision for their home over his sister’s feelings, or did he overreact in kicking her out? How would you navigate such a family conflict? Share your thoughts below!
