AITA for kicking my friends out after they made r**ist comments about my culture?

A 17-year-old girl from Pakistan invited friends over for a sleepover, but they made fun of her grandmother’s traditional food and clothing, making racist comments that upset her. After overhearing them mock her culture, she confronted them and asked them to leave.

Now feeling conflicted about her decision, especially after being blocked by them, she struggles with her feelings of loss and concern for her grandmother’s sadness. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for kicking my friends out after they made r**ist comments about my culture?’

I, 17F, am an immigrant from Pakistan. I apologize for the bad grammar in advance. Last night, I invited a group of school friends to my house for a sleepover. I was really excited to have them over because I thought I successfully got friends, despite me having a bit of an accent that I was insecure about.

My grandmother was home, and she does not speak a word of English. At the beginning, when I introduced her to my friends, I got a weird vibe because I saw them laughing among themselves at her broken English. I wasn’t sure at the moment, but it felt off and I shook it off.

Later, when my mother called us down to dinner, one of them made a joke about the smell. My grandmother was really happy that I got friends and she cooked some traditional food for them. My friends sat down and didn’t really eat the food. They picked at it and one of them asked if we can get pizza instead.

My grandmother came and asked me if my friends didn’t like the food, because they only picked at it. I didn’t really have the heart to tell her what they were saying. I felt really left out because my friends were laughing with each other and saying how much they like pizza, pasta, and other things, obviously mocking the food that my grandmother had made.

I was really frustrated and I told them to not be rude. They just giggled and said nothing more. The third incident was later that night. I was getting ready in the bathroom and they were in my room. I over heard them laughing and saying why my grandmother was wearing a costume in the house, as she was wearing a traditional dress from Pakistan.

I also heard them whisper that she smelled bad. That was when I got really angery and I came out of the bathroom and exclaimed loudly for them to shut up. My friends all told me that I was going too far and they were just joking. However, I don’t want them to disrespect me, my country, and my grandmother in my own house.

I told them to get out of my house. They were upset and left, driving away. It was around 11 O’Clock at Night. I don’t really know what to do now because they were my only friends and I feel like kicking them out was too much. I tried texting them afterwards and they blocked me.

I don’t really know how I’m going to face them in school next Monday. My Grandmother was very sad at what happened and I don’t have courage to tell her why I removed them from the house. I feel bad because I telled them to leave really late at night, but they do have Driving Licenses.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

AwesomeAsian −  NTA – As an immigrant who has had similar experience, I empathize with you and f**k your friends. They come into your house, make fun of your grandma’s accent, didn’t even seem like they appreciated grandmas food and then call her outfit a costume?!

What are they, 10 year old babies? You’re 17 and I assume your friends are 17… this is just childish behavior… and then the audacity for them to block you? Please find better friends. Find people who can actually appreciate other people’s cultures. You’ll be much happier.

HeyThereFancypants- −  NTA. I’m sorry this happened to you. It must be so disappointing after you thought you’d made friends, but these people aren’t your friends.
You did the right thing. You stood up for yourself. If you stay true to yourself and don’t put up with anyone’s b**lshit, eventually you’ll attract the right sort of people.

Qwarla888 −  Hold your head high. The complete disrespect is pitiful. If they confront you at school next week, just keep repeating that you don’t have time for racists. To come back to you when they apologize and grow up a bit.

University and/or a job are right around the corner. High school children are and will be irrelevant. Give your grandmother a hug from this old, white New Zealand lady and know you have my respect.

Grenflik −  NTA! Also WTF?? If I was invited by a friend to hang out and their grandma made authentic Pakistani food, I would be extremely grateful! The fact they started that r**ist s**t from the jump shows they’ve never been your friends.

SnooPets8873 −  NTA as the daughter of Indian immigrants, I can tell you that these weren’t friends and not the kind of people you’d want to make friends with anyways. My friends in school were the ones who were so excited to try anything from a new culture.

We were all from different backgrounds but it didn’t matter because we loved getting introduced to new food and clothes and ideas. We went to Korean karaoke, chaand raat parties, afternoon teas and every event thrown by the multicultural club. You want to look for curiosity in people, not smug ignorance.

CartographerHot2285 −  NTA. People who act like that aren’t your friends. You’ll find real ones, make room for them by not hanging out with people who don’t deserve it. I know it doesn’t feel like that at the moment, but there are a lot of good people out there too. Keep trying though, don’t feel bad about inviting them over, you were the bigger person here for inviting them into your life.

AntiSnoringDevice −  I am so sorry for what happened, especially for how your Grandma who showed hospitality and care and prepared food for the guests. Your friends acted like immature and rude people and showed lack of social education. You’re NTA.

I hope this will not discourage you from pursuing friendships outside of your culture, it might take an effort on your side to explain it to others and an effort on others to understand and respect your traditions. I wish you well.

Traditional_Self_658 −  NTA. They weren’t real friends. A friend wouldn’t come into your home and disrespect your family and culture like that. If you put up with it now, you will be stuck putting up with more of the same behavior later on. Good riddance.

Cook_Potential −  You did the right thing. You stood up for yourself and your family. And honestly speaking, I don’t think they’d ever be good friends with you since that’s how they treated you in your OWN house. Next time at school, you can talk to them calmly explaining your actions and give them an opportunity to apologize.

If they do, you can give them a chance, but if they don’t you should stir away from them for good. I know you’re feeling really down right now, but I’m sure you’ll make lots of good friends real soon.

StaticShakyamuni −  I don’t really know what to do now because **they were my only friends** and I feel like kicking them out was too much. No, they weren’t your friends. You didn’t lose anything tonight. You gained the knowledge of their true nature. You are better off now knowing you have no friends than you were before they stepped into your house.

It sucks, I know. You’re lonely and you don’t feel accepted by your peers. Just know it won’t always be like this. You’ll meet people who appreciate you. You’ll have friends that appreciate your family and your culture. Just stay open to new experiences and people. Find those people and hold onto them.. NTA.

It’s heartbreaking when friends disrespect your culture, especially in your own home. What do you think? Share your thoughts below!