AITA for Kicking My Brother Out of My House After What He Did at My Daughter’s 15th Birthday? ?
A mom kicked her brother out of her house after discovering he allowed her 15-year-old daughter and her friend to drink during her birthday party, resulting in the friend being hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. Despite her daughter’s pleas to forgive him, the mom believes her brother crossed an unforgivable line. Is she overreacting, or was this the right call? Read the full story below.
‘ AITA for Kicking My Brother Out of My House After What He Did at My Daughter’s 15th Birthday? ?’
I (38F) have a 15-year-old daughter, “Emma.” For her birthday, I decided to throw a small gathering at our house with her best friend, Mia, and a few family members. My brother, “Evan” (45M), offered to help out. Emma adores Evan—he’s the “cool” uncle who’s always joking around and treating her like an adult.
I’ve always been uneasy about how permissive he is, but I never imagined he’d cross such a massive line. The evening started fine with music, snacks, and laughter. At one point, I stepped away to finish some work, trusting Evan to keep an eye on things. About an hour later, I went to check on them.
I couldn’t find Emma, Mia, or Evan anywhere. After asking a few guests, someone said they were in Emma’s bedroom, “playing board games.” I had a bad feeling about it, so I headed upstairs. What I walked into made my stomach drop. Mia was half-passed out, slumped on the bed in Emma’s room, barely able to sit up and throwing up all over herself.
Emma and Evan were hovering over her, both panicked and trying to keep her awake. I immediately demanded to know what had happened. Emma looked petrified and didn’t say much, but Evan—calmly, almost nonchalantly—admitted he had let them drink.
When I pressed for details, he shrugged and said Mia had had about 600ml of vodka. He said it like it was no big deal, casually adding, “It’s fine—I was supervising them.” I was horrified. Mia was barely conscious, struggling to even breathe properly, and Evan acted like this was normal.
I called an ambulance right away, and Mia was rushed to the hospital. The doctors confirmed she had alcohol poisoning. Thankfully, she’ll recover, but the situation could have ended far worse. I was shaking with guilt, fury, and disbelief.
When I got back home, I unleashed all my anger on Evan. I told him he had crossed an unforgivable line by putting two 15-year-olds in danger. He tried to justify himself, saying teens are going to drink anyway, and he thought it was “better” if they did it around him. He even smirked while saying it, which made my blood boil.
I told him to pack his things and get out of my house immediately. I also told him he’s not welcome around Emma until further notice. What crushed me the most was when Emma later admitted, tearfully, that this wasn’t the first time Evan had let her drink with him. She begged me not to cut him off and said I was overreacting, claiming Evan didn’t mean for things to go so far.
She also blames me for “ruining her birthday” and won’t speak to me now. I’m devastated and furious all at once. I feel like I failed to protect my daughter, but at the same time, I can’t just forgive Evan for what he did. Emma doesn’t see it that way, though, and thinks I’m being unfair.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
cozyfields − NTA Evan is 100% out of line here and crossed a serious boundary. It really concerns me that Emma is sticking up for him and saying that he’s allowed them to drink before… Also why is Evan alone in a room with two 15 year old girls??? Who are drinking to the point of alcohol poisoning??? I don’t know many 45 year old’s who would allow themselves to be in that sort of situation..
PsychologicalGas170 − Wait, you didn’t mention what happened when you called Mia’s parents and they pressed charges.
LingonberryNo2455 − Wow, does Mia know how little your daughter actually values her friendship that she’d rather carry on hanging out with a man who nearly killed her friend and clearly dgaf? How unfair would it be if Mia had died which is a very real possibility?
Your daughter needs a massive reality check tbh. At least there is a responsible adult around. I also suspect they’ll stay in contact and she’ll meet with him without your knowledge as she doesn’t realise how bad this was and he dgaf.
And not least, a 45 year old man in a bedroom with two fifteen year olds getting them drunk is a MAJOR red flag. Perhaps he needs to be on a register? ETA: NTA but your brother completely is.
grayblue_grrl − Your brother has an agenda… Getting teen girls drunk is usually a precursor for s**… She doesn’t realize this because she’s 15. And he did this in YOUR HOUSE at her party, with lots of people around. Who knows what else he’ll do right here.. I’d press charges. And have a restaining order against him.
NefariousnessFresh24 − 600 ml of vodka? For a fifteen year old? Mia is lucky to survive. This is not a bottle or two of beer, that is almost an entire f**king bottle of hard liquor…
NTA, keep “cool Uncle Evan” away from your daughter. He is right that teens will drink, but he was not “supervising them”, he was willfully endangering their lives. I know that Emma will find it hard to trust you now, and believe you that you did the right thing, but you did.
What you should do, is to sit down with her, and have a calm and rational talk (she won’t be calm or rational, the important thing is that you are) about alcohol and drinking. Don’t be preachy. Tell her that it is ok if she experiments with alcohol, if she tries to find her limits, but that she should do it under your guidance, not “cool Uncle Evan’s”
Yes. I am encouraging you to let your underage daughter drink. Which she should not do. But if she does it in a controlled environment under your guidance, she will feel less inclined to do it away from you. She will also learn her limits, and she will learn to handle alcohol a lot more responsibly than if she does it in hiding.
Now this may be a culture thing, being German I was able to legally drink beer at 16 and hard liquor at 18, but by the time I moved to the US for college at 21 I had gotten all of my “alcohol is cool and I want to do it” instincts out of my system. If you teach Emma that alcohol can be fun in moderation, but deadly in excess, she will be able to have a better relationship with it.
You can also become “the cool mom” instead of the bad guy in this story. Even if you decide not to do that part (which is just a suggestion), still sit down with her and discuss things. Don’t be preachy, don’t accuse her, don’t punish her. The a**hole here is Evan. Not Emma. So don’t punish her for what he did.
CheezersTheCat − NTA and you need to file a police report too… there’s no way that a 45 year old guy is innocently getting teenage relatives drunk in private. You can see from your other daughter’s behaviour he’s already started to groom and manipulate her. Book them in with a counselling sessions immediately!!!
ConvivialKat − This is fake rage bait. The parents of the 15 year old with alcohol poisoning would have been immediately notified if their kid was in the hospital, but OP says zero about them.
Strange_Jackfruit_89 − YTA. For this fake story. If this really happened, the police and CPS would have been called to the hospital. You’d all be under investigation and you and/or your brother would be charged…
nazuswahs − I would threaten involving the police if he ever pulls a stunt like this again. I would also consider some kind of consequence for the girls. Maybe a video or pamphlet explaining why drinking as a teen is more harmful than it is for an adult.
selfcheckout − Why didn’t you call the police? That’s illegal.
Was the mom justified in kicking her brother out and cutting off contact, or is there room for reconciliation in this family? How would you handle such a situation involving trust and safety? Share your thoughts below!