AITA for inviting everyone to the BBQ/beach day except my SIL, her kid and her husband because they eat all the food?

A person excluded their sister-in-law (SIL), her husband, and their child from a family BBQ and beach day due to past experiences where they consumed large amounts of food, leaving others without enough. The person explained they could not afford to feed them, which led to accusations of fat-shaming from the SIL.

Despite the backlash, the person felt justified, emphasizing the challenges of managing food for everyone. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for inviting everyone to the BBQ/beach day except my SIL, her kid and her husband because they eat all the food?’

I say this with a lot of hesitation but my SIL, her husband and their child are all severely obese. Both SIL and her husband are over 300lbs and their daughter, 12, is easily pushing 200.

The type of people to buy a smoker and giant chest freezer for $3k+ but fail to pay their mortgage/land tax and ask the family to help them out and when they are called out on it, it’s met with a “making sure my family is fed is my top priority”.

Not saying it shouldn’t be a priority but when you’re feeding 3 people enough food for 10 people a day, it’s absolutely an issue. Last year we extended the invite to them twice and both times they ate food so quickly that a lot of people didn’t even know there was food available.

I vividly remember them putting 3 hamburgers, 4 hotdogs and damn near half a container of pasta salad on their plates and still going up for seconds and thirds. I wish I were kidding but I’m not.

The next time around, I bought more food and they ended up taking all the leftovers without even asking and without anyone’s knowledge until after the fact, when my kids wanted more food and everything was taken (dish and all) and they had been the only ones who left.

So this year I didn’t invite them. I can’t afford to feed them and quite frankly, I don’t want to feed them. I don’t want to have a beach day and have to run out to the store midway through to get my kids something to eat when I know I packed and cooked plenty to last a day. So I invited everyone but them. The day went great.

We weren’t hungry after for once. SIL caught wind, which I expected, and she immediately said “we would have f**king liked a family meal too” so I simply said “I can’t afford to feed you”. She asked what I meant and as nicely as possible, I explained what I did above. Now I’m being called every name in the book for fat shaming and embarrassing her.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

-K_P- −  Explain to them that there is a difference between fat shaming and greed shaming. They could eat a respectful amount with the family then go home and eat 6 more dinners on THEIR dime, no one would shame them. The fact that they choose to exploit the family and make others go hungry is what is unacceptable. NTA.

CandThonestpartners −  I’m sorry but this time the truth hurts. If they weren’t so greedy and wasn’t actually taking food out of people’s mouth that would be a different story.
The fact that they don’t even care and then go up for seconds and thirds.. NTA at all.

Vegetable-Cod-2340 −  NTA. I don’t even think this is about their weight, this is about their appetite, they could be stick thin and still eat too much.The simple truth is they don’t seem to have manners, and its okay not invite someone that will eat you out of house and home.

Unlucky_Customer_712 −  NTA at all. A long time ago we went to a friend’s birthday party. One of his friends brought his a**oholic father. We had brought 24 beers for the two of us and some to share. That a**oholic a**hole drank 19 beers in 45 minutes and was going for another.

I slammed the lid of the cooler down and cut him off. His son was upset and said thought there would be enough beers for everyone (they did not bring any). I told him he needed to buy more but, his dad was cut off, he was cut off and our mutual friend was cut off. We also brought sausages and chips, enough for everyone.

He never bought more beer and the planned 8 hour bbq only lasted 2 hours, since there was nothing for them to drink. People need to bring enough for themselves always. If they eat a lot, they should bring extra food. If they drink a lot, bring extra drinks. Being polite is not magic. It just takes a little more effort than being an AH.

DancinginHyrule −  Her respons really says it all; they wanted a free meal as well. They didn’t go to see people, catch up, have fun. They came to eat and you are the food ATM.

Being together solely to eat is a type of party too, but then you pull your own weight (no pun intended) by either paying your part or bringing it. NTA. Tell her they are welcome to bring their own food next time (and that you want your plates back)

DollyElvira −  NTA. They are being rude by taking so much and not contributing and they’ve shown it to be a pattern.

[Reddit User] −  Plot twist: OP invites them to the next gathering, OP only serves vegetables and fruit, no other food.

Responsible-Equal-92 −  NTA. If they want to come, bring their own food and their own grill for their family.

PomegranateReal3620 −  I was the fat kid. My mom started me on crazy diets when i was 9. Like 900-1000 calories a day. She was a starve and binge eater, so at family events, she ate like a champ. I learned to do it, too, because it was the only time i wasn’t being starved.

When i was in college, my friends shamed me for eating all the food at a party. That was when i started a journey to recover from all the dieting and binging. I’ve lost a hundred pounds over the years, and though my health has suffered from all of that abuse, I’m much better than the rest of my family.

While what you did was brutal, it was also a wake-up call. Not for them. They don’t want to see it and aren’t ready to face it. This is for the family to be reminded that they don’t have to enable it, and they sure as hell don’t have to go without because they aren’t willing to share.. NTA

leftytrash161 −  NTA. I’m a fat woman, around 100kg, and im aware that at times my appetite can be larger than average due to a medical condition (not all the time and not to this extent, but it does happen).

At those times, i bring my own extra food to these types of events because i feel so awful about even the possibility of me taking more than my share of the food the hosts provide. Your SIL and her family seem disgustingly e**itled, i wouldn’t invite them to my barbecues either.

Was the exclusion reasonable or overly harsh? Share your thoughts below!