AITA for intentionally getting my mother beat and my father arrested?

A Reddit user shares a painful story about growing up with emotionally and physically abusive parents. When back home for the holidays, the user intentionally instigated a situation that led to their father physically assaulting their mother.

They recorded the incident and reported it to the police, which ultimately resulted in their father’s arrest. Now, people are telling them they’re wrong for their actions, but the user feels justified. Read the full story below to understand the complex emotions behind this decision.

‘ AITA for intentionally getting my mother beat and my father arrested?’

I 18M was mistreated, emotionally abused, and physically abused as a child. My parents would hide this by making me stay home from school if there were visible marks and threatening me about what they will do if I tell anyone etc.

Additionally, they would use the typical lines regarding foster care (they will never love you) etc to prevent me from reporting them or whatever. Now that we’re done with the background information, this is where I might be the a**hole / in the wrong.

I was back from college for break and my dad came from his room pretty pissed off and asked me “hypothetically” what I would do if my roommate did something (I don’t remember what specifically he actually asked, sorry)

and I quickly realized that this was him being mad at my mom for doing something and trying to gauge what a reasonable response to this is. Realizing this, I instigated the hell out of the situation intentionally, which lead to him going up stairs and hitting my mom,

which I got an (audio) recording of and reported to the police, and sent to all of his friends and our relatives. After the fact, I’ve had a few people telling me that what I did was wrong and that I should feel bad for it, but I just personally don’t see it. AITA?

Check out how the community responded:

AccioCoffeeMug −  The police need to know, I hope they investigate. Your Dad is TA

Huge-Importance-5589 −  For reference by abuse I mean when I was around 10 she held me by the metal refrigerator door and repeatedly hit me with it for spilling milk while trying to make a bowl of cereal, she (and my dad) both openly said they regretted having me because they wanted a girl,

lied about me to my family members / family friends to embarrass me, hit me regularly, both parents collectively refused to provide me food when I was 13 for like 3 days because I got in trouble at school (like mildly, no suspension or detention literally just an email home) amongst numerous other things.

redrangerziro −  While you shouldn’t have instigated it, your father is an adult and should know better. Personally I would say NTA.

merishore25 −  NTA because you were raised in a horrible environment and most likely didn’t have the ability to deal with this. Please seek some professional help to live the life you deserve.

DivineTarot −  You know what? What goes around, comes around. NTA if this is just a one off, and you seek therapy. I can’t bring myself to say some platitude about how “this was not the answer,” because fundamentally your parents are a lost cause of wretchedness.

Seek therapy, seek to heal, seek to grow, but don’t feel like you’re some unforgivable failure trapped to continue the cycle of abuse ever more just cuz you paid evil unto evil once.

Tall-Negotiation6623 −  NTA. You don’t owe your parents anything after what they did to you.

Calicofoxie −  NTA, it is completely understandable why you did what you did. Your mother had it coming and so did your father. Neither of them should get sympathy from anyone here.

BigNathaniel69 −  NTA, way to go getting him arrested. And while no one deserves to get abused, your mother did participate in your abuse. You should not feel bad for her. She participated in your abuse when you were a child. She’s an adult and was responsible for you, instead she failed you.

Orphan2024 −  NTA. You didn’t raise his hand. Get away from these people as soon as you can, and make sure you take care of yourself.

Strange_Occasion9722 −  Jesus, NTA. You didn’t cut off his arm and smack her with it, he did it under his own free will and with FORETHOUGHT. He deserves to be in prison.

As for your mother, it’s either she finally got a taste of what she’s been letting him do to you for your whole life, or he’s been doing this the entire time, and you’ve potentially saved her life by preventing a harsher beating in the future.

Being someone who got smacked around myself, and worse, saw my siblings being abused, I have ZERO patience for anybody who’d hit a kid. They deserve whatever they get.

Was the user wrong for instigating the situation that led to their father’s arrest, or did they take a necessary step in protecting their mother and themselves from years of abuse? How would you have handled such a difficult, emotionally charged situation? Share your thoughts below!