AITA for initially laughing after seeing my bf shaved his facial hair?

A woman laughed when her boyfriend surprised her on FaceTime with a clean-shaven face, mistaking him at first for his younger brother. Though she reassured him that she still found him attractive, he seemed hurt and said, “This is why I never fully shave.”

Since then, he’s been distant, leaving her wondering if she was wrong for laughing at his sudden change in appearance.

‘ AITA for initially laughing after seeing my bf shaved his facial hair? ‘

throwaway lol. my boyfriend (24m) and i (21f) have been officially together for around 5 months. he’s had a full beard the entire time i’ve known him, and i guess he’s mostly kept a beard since he started growing facial hair around 15, so the only pictures i’ve seen of him without one are from when he was in middle school or younger.

yesterday when he was on lunch at work he facetimed me and surprised me that he had gone fully shaved. he didn’t tell me he was planning it so it kind of shocked me. when i answered the phone my first thought was that it was actually his hs aged brother that he lives with (that looks a lot like him), and when i realized it was him i kind of gasped and then couldn’t help myself from laughing for a minute.

obviously he seemed kind of upset but i tried to make sure and tell him that i still like how he looks, i was just very surprised because he looks decently different and much much younger without facial hair and i wasn’t expecting to answer the call to that.

he still seemed upset and quickly hung up afterwards, said something like “this is why i never fully shave”. i was supposed to see him today but he’s been pretty dry with few responses since then. AITA for my reaction?

Quiet_Clothes_4446 −  If you got a completely different haircut or shaved your head, would you be ok if he laughed at you for an entire minute about it?

Legal-Run-4034 −  YTA. If you called him up with a new haircut out of nowhere and he didn’t think it was you, then laughed when he found out it was you, you wouldn’t hesitate to say he was an a**hole

Doogiesham −  You laughed for a minute at your boyfriend’s appearance. I don’t blame you for being surprised but I sure as heck don’t blame him for being upset and cold. YTA

aphlovecat −  I’m leaning toward N A H but maybe a whisper of Y T A… The reason being that I feel, if it were completely “surprised” laugh, maybe it would have been explained more thoroughly and hopefully not have been for a minute or so.

I’d be willing to bet that every second you were laughing, he felt stupider and stupider for shaving. Mentally I’m seeing this like a kid making a drawing for a parent and the parent being unable to contain the laugher and crushing the kid’s excitement

[Reddit User] −  Soft YTA. People (guys/girls) are sensitive to how others see them. He probably felt like you thought he looked stupid with shaved facial hair and it hurt his feelings.

paradoxcabbie −  Sooooo it’s a running joke at this point I’m basically not allowed to shave. The first time my daughter saw me clean shaven she literally didn’t look at my face for a month(easier to do since she doesn’t live with me but I digress) and my step son went – who are you and why are you wearing my dad’s cloths🧐?

loulouroot −  A figurative minute? Like your reaction was “Gasp! Ahahahahaha … wow, you look so different! Gosh, sorry, I was just surprised. Very handsome!” Then NTA.
A literal minute? Well, then I would change my verdict.

TheDarkHelmet1985 −  YTA.. being surprised or shocked is one thing. Laughing at someone because of their appearance change is another. That is where I think you became the AH, albeit a minor one.

RevolutionaryEye7546 −  YTA. What if you changed your hairdo and he burst out laughing.

What_do_now_24 −  I’ve had a huge full beard for decades. I’ve shaved it 3 times, and every single time I get huge results from literally everyone that sees me, esp my SO, and this includes laughter. It doesn’t bother me because I understand that people react to surprising stimulus in different ways.

It WOUD bother me if people continued to laugh or make fun of me in a mean spirited way, however. I mean did you tell him you were laughing out of surprise and excitement? If so, was he still butthurt? If so, maybe he doesn’t deserve the beard. 😉 Anyway, if you were being mean YTA.. If you were just surprised, NTA.

Should she have handled it differently, or was her reaction understandable? Share your thoughts below!