AITA for informing my son’s friend’s parents that he is a kleptomaniac?
Recently, a Reddit user shared a heartfelt story about her 14-year-old son, who is a diagnosed kleptomaniac undergoing therapy. Despite her efforts to manage the situation by informing other parents about his condition, her son faced bullying after a recent incident where his condition was disclosed to his peers, leading to a painful confrontation at home.
The mother is torn between protecting her son and being transparent with others, and she seeks advice on whether her approach is inadvertently causing more harm than good.
Follow the story below to join the conversation and offer your perspective.
AITA for informing my son’s friend’s parents that he is a kleptomaniac?
Hi son is 14M. He is a diagnosed kleptomaniac. He is in therapy for it. It used to be a huge problem but is now is mostly under control, even tho sometimes he can’t help himself. He is a good kid, but he is quick to grab things without even being aware of it, and honestly he is very good with his hands, he is able to pickpocket without being caught in the act.I don’t want this to affect his social life, so when he visits someone else’s homes, I try to talk to the parents to inform them that he has this condition, and if they think something is missing from their homes, they can call me and I will search for it in case my son had grabbed it.
Yes, some parents have called me and I’ve brought their things back, usually small things but important enough to need to be returned. However, some parents have forbidden their kids to hang out with my son after i’ve delivered it, and it’s hard for him.
So, recently, he visited for the first time the home of a friend to play Warhammer. I informed the parents of his condition and I thought everything was ok. But while he was there, the parents told their son, and the son told the other kids there, and they bullied him to the point that my son left and walked alone to our home. Nobody called me, he has a phone but didn’t call or text, he just got home on his own. Then he scolded me, saying that I’m ruining his life by telling everyone that he is a “t*ief” and he’ll never make friends because he keeps telling people. Then locked himself in his bedroom to cry.
Honestly I feel bad, but I think this is a way of telling other kid’s parents that I’m not enabling my son. I know is hard but I’m doing what I can as a mom, but I wanna ask if I’m the a*shole because seems to be hurting him anyway.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
RB1327 says:
It used to be a huge problem but is now is mostly under control
Seems like a better option for now would be to have the get-togethers in your own home. That would decrease the possibility of him taking someone’s property, while preserving his privacy about this diagnosis.
NAH. I see in a comment you say the therapist “approved” this plan you came up with, which is more than surprising. Maybe a new counselor is in order here.
PawsomeFarms says:
which is more than surprising.
Not really.
The cops aren’t going to believe him or his parents when they tell them him stealing s*it is a medical condition – his ass is still getting hauled to jail, especially now that he’s highschool age and rapidly approaching adult hood.
StAlvis says:
NAH
However, some parents have forbidden their kids to hang out with my son after i’ve delivered it, and it’s hard for him.
Honestly, if I’m a parent I don’t want the hassle of having to do an inventory of my home every time your kid comes by.
catskilkid says:
NTA
But I would suggest this is a better discussion for you to have with that therapist who knows the whole situation rather than the collective wisdom of Reddit. There is fun and games on reddit, but you have an issue AND you have professional help all teed up. I’d consult the therapist and any AH rating from here really is meaningless compared.
Given that the alternative is him having the cops called on him and him catching charges every time something happens?
I’d imagine spending hours in a holding cell at the local precinct is going to cause more issues than people who let the kid spend time in their home being told “don’t freak out if anything valuable goes missing. Son has a medical condition, he’s being treated and is doing a lot better- let me know if he slips up and fails to self correct I’ll make sure to return it .”.
What do you think? Share your thoughts in the comments!