AITA for implying everyone else in my house eats too much?

A Reddit user describes a conflict in their shared household over food consumption. After noticing their groceries for work lunches disappearing quickly, they confronted housemates about late-night grazing and excessive snacking,

which hurt feelings and sparked accusations of judgment. To solve the issue, the user bought a mini fridge for their room, but now wonders if they handled the situation poorly. Read the full story below for the details and context.

‘ AITA for implying everyone else in my house eats too much?’

For context, the 5 of us share a big house. We are all acquaintances but not really close friends, but I do think they are all nice people that are fun to be around. We have basically an open fridge policy for groceries where we all get groceries,

and if it’s in the fridge it’s free game other than restaurant leftovers and I’m totally fine with this for the most part until recently when stuff I got for my lunches (I pack my lunches for work, nobody else does) has been disappearing at an insane rate. Like I got a pound of ham, turkey, and provolone and a loaf of bread and it was gone in 3 days.

I brought this up that hey, if all the stuff is gone that much faster than I expected I have to scramble in the morning to make sure I have something I can bring to work to have for lunch. They said I thought we all had an understanding on this, and I said we do and I’m totally fine with anyone eating the stuff I buy for sustenance.

The issue I have that I brought up is that people aren’t eating it for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. It’s getting ran through so quick because they will smoke weed and just stand there and graze. Or late night come down and eat out of boredom. The 4 of them are rather overweight and drawing this distinction hurt their feelings,

with them saying who am I to say what food is “necessary” to eat, and what is gorging (I didn’t use that word I thought I worded it very very gently). And I said I’m not deciding what is necessary but come on,

you KNOW eating a third of a lb of turkey out of the bag at 11pm after having 3 full meals during the day is not sustenance helping you get through the day and stay fueled. I still buy ingredients and snacks and make dinner often because I love cooking for people,

but I also bought a mini fridge and keep the stuff I use to make my lunches in my room now. Am I an a**hole for bringing it up? Should I have just got the mini fridge and gone about it quietly?

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

shoefarts666 −  What the f**k type of roommate situation is this. This will never be fair. I share food like this with my partner, and it’s aggravating sometimes —- why on earth would you try this with 4 roommates?  Edit — NTA, but you did this to yourself.

cressidacole −  The food “system” you have in place is a recipe for disaster. Appetites vary, as do schedules, tastes and budgets. It would drive me up the wall if i was trying to plan my meals but got home to find my ingredients sacrificed to the munchies.. Opt out of shared groceries.

IntsyBitsy −  An open fridge policy in a share house is stupid lol

-cheeks −  You’re all assholes for thinking this type of arrangement amongst adults would work. Unless you are all doing your shopping together and budgeting TOGETHER someone is always going to be fucked over. YTA for commenting on other people’s eating habits. How much they eat is not the problem. It’s this dumb ass arrangement that is the issue.

hexxcellent −  A loaf of pre-sliced bread has between 17-22 pieces. A serving size of sliced ham and turkey is 3 oz; so that’s 5 servings per pound. That’s like less than 2 sandwiches per person for 5 people, and tbh, that’s being generous.

So if 5 people are having a sandwich per day for 3 days, that’s like… a very normal amount of time for food of this quantity to disappear.. YTA. If you don’t like the grocery arrangement, change it for yourself,

don’t be an a**hole and judge or police what your roommates are eating when they’re doing literally nothing wrong but following the guidelines you ALL agreed to.

anotherknockoffcrow −  YTA for making it about their weight. The real issue is the absolute insanity of your households grocery policy. If you are having a problem with it, which is 100% valid of you, say you want out of the agreement and to purchase and eat your own private groceries. Don’t bring anyone’s body into it.

JustJudgin −  If your fridge is emptying faster than you expect either learn to buy enough for everyone or stop sharing what you get for you. You can’t expect people who have been told they can eat whatever NOT to eat whatever,

and trying to control their intake is way creepy when instead you can simply make the things you depend on to last off-limits. One of the guys I live with can eat a pound of deli meat in a single day across 3 sandwiches and a charc board snack,

not to mention all the produce and cheese he eats as a working guy who uses medical and hits the gym regularly. He buys his own and it’s marked for him because the rest of us can’t support his 7lb of deli meat per week lifestyle.

He does this because when we first sat down to talk about our food philosophies I really wanted to share groceries, and we mostly do— but on learning how much food he goes through, now I have some items marked specifically so he asks me before using if he can have some and how much,

and he’ll always leave the last serving of anything we share for me to have when I get to it. They aren’t assholes for believing you when you say your food is freely available to them. You wouldn’t be an a**hole to change your mind— but not changing the arrangement or your behavior and trying to shame them about their food intake IS a**hole behavior. 

StAlvis −  NTA. We are all acquaintances but not really close friends. We have basically an open fridge policy for groceries where we all get groceries, and if it’s in the fridge it’s free game. This makes **zero** sense.

Spank_Cakes −  INFO: so at first things were fine and food wasn’t being consumed in crazy-quick quantities, so what changed that dynamic? Are the others who are eating your lunch fixings contributing to having food in the house at all, or are they now freeloading off your lunch food?

Are you eating other food that you didn’t buy, and perhaps taking too much of that? You describe what seems to be a free-for-all food0-wise, so it’s kinda odd that you’re getting territorial about some of the food if everyone is contributing as much as they’re eating, even if they don’t replace each specific food item.

bltwithmilk −  YTA. If you have an open fridge system but there are certain items that you need to not be eaten by others, then you need to be proactive about that, either by buying a minifridge or demarcating a part of the fridge for yourself.

You can’t put food into the Everyone Can Eat From Here box and be surprised when Everyone Eats From There, even if you think the reasons they’re eating are questionable.

If you feel like there’s an inbalance in terms of who is contributing to the food supply, then that is its own conversation, but calling your roommates fat stoners is not the way to have either of these conversations.

Do you think the Redditor was justified in addressing the food issue directly and buying a mini fridge, or should they have avoided the confrontation altogether? How would you handle food-sharing rules in a shared household? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!