AITA for ignoring my mom asking me to get involved with her new family after I got rich?

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Imagine being 17 years old, watching your family unravel before your eyes, and feeling powerless to stop the fallout. That was the reality for one Redditor who found himself blindsided by his mother’s affair and subsequent remarriage. Left to navigate young adulthood with a struggling father, the user eventually—thanks to generous support from grandparents—built a thriving business and found remarkable success. But no sooner did he achieve his dreams than his mother suddenly resurfaced, expecting him to extend his prosperity to her new family.

Should he open his arms (and wallet) for half-siblings he barely knows? Or is he justified in focusing on those who stood by him from the start? When the bonds of blood clash with the pain of betrayal, choosing the right path isn’t as simple as it seems.

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‘ AITA for ignoring my mom asking me to get involved with her new family after I got rich?’

For the unfiltered details behind this emotional dilemma, here’s the original post straight from the source:

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Seeing a family torn apart can leave lasting scars—especially when it feels like one parent dismisses your suffering to start a new life. Here, the mother’s decision to move on and have more children forced the original poster (OP) to fend for himself and his younger sister. Unsurprisingly, resentment developed toward the new household; now, years later, OP’s success has made him a magnet for guilt trips and demands.

It’s a classic struggle in family dynamics: Does sharing DNA with half-siblings obligate you to support them, financially or otherwise? Developmental psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour has noted that genuine familial bonds often rest on emotional closeness and shared experiences, not merely biology.

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The mother in this story, however, did little to cultivate that closeness; in fact, she effectively pushed OP away by prioritizing her boyfriend and new family. In such circumstances, it’s hardly surprising that OP feels little inclination to “make things fair” now that life has turned in his favor.

Moreover, there’s a strong case to be made for recognizing that OP’s success isn’t some magical windfall that’s up for the taking. According to personal-finance expert Ramit Sethi, financial boundaries—even with family—are healthy and necessary. If OP chooses to fund something like a sealed college fund directly for his half-siblings (ensuring the mother can’t access the money), that’s a voluntary gesture of goodwill. Yet there’s no inherent moral obligation compelling him to do so.

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At the heart of it, there’s a difference between moving on from the past and being forced to rewrite it. Forgiveness, if it ever comes, is personal and often requires genuine remorse and changed behavior from the offending party. Simply demanding financial help “because we’re family” is not the pathway to meaningful reconciliation. OP can, and should, weigh what truly feels right for him. Family may be family—but that doesn’t guarantee unconditional rescue when deep emotional betrayals have never been addressed.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit users have offered a variety of perspectives—some firm, some empathetic, and all unfiltered. Here’s a snapshot of how the internet reacted:

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These reactions highlight the complexities of family relationships and the role that shared history (or lack thereof) can play.

Ultimately, it’s up to OP to decide whether, and how, he might reconcile with his mother and half-siblings. Genuine apologies, efforts to mend bridges, and mutual respect all have to come first—money alone can’t paper over years of hurt. Have you faced a similar fork in the road with family members? Share your thoughts below on setting financial boundaries and finding peace when relatives come knocking for favors.

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One Comment

  1. Karin Liljegren 1 day ago

    NTA but I think there are so much more to this story. Since you can afford it I’d recommend you seek therapy to sort things and feelings out. You were 17 when this happened. What was your mom like those first 17 years? Were she there, were she warm and loving, did you get a stable ground to stand on? If so, something doesn’t as up in this story. Mom definitely got the bad guy character in the drama and dad was so sad and in pain but something must gave happened it everything went from perfect to chaos and taking sides.

    She might reach out because if money or she might reach out now because she had a lot of guilt stopping her. You don’t need to have a relationship with any of them but I you might see it different from another perspective. For example, the younger siblings, do they have their grandparents (on your mother’s side) or did they miss out on that because family rejected their mother?

    One day you might have children and if not now those questions will come to you. I’d invest some time and money to dig into myself in this matter and find out what the guilt is really all about.

    If you do have a relation in the future you are also allowed to set boundaries for that, for example not involving any money.

    Good luck and congratulations on being so successful!