AITA for having narcotic pain meds in my medicine cabinet?
Having house guests should be a pleasant experience, but what happens when someone you barely know goes through your medicine cabinet and takes prescription medication? Are you responsible for what happens next?
That’s the situation OP (Original Poster) found themselves in when their sister-in-law’s (SIL) boyfriend, Bob, stole a bottle of unused painkillers from their bathroom. Bob, a recovering addict, disappeared after taking the pills, leaving SIL enraged. While OP and their spouse had no idea about Bob’s history with addiction, the fallout resulted in half the family blaming them for “creating the problem” by having the medication in their home. But were they really responsible for Bob’s relapse, or is the blame entirely on him?
‘AITA for having narcotic pain meds in my medicine cabinet?’
Expert Analysis:
Personal Responsibility and Relapse Prevention
Dr. Anna Richards, a clinical psychologist specializing in addiction, states, “Relapse is a deeply personal process. While triggers can exist in the environment, accountability ultimately falls on the individual in recovery. Expecting hosts to preemptively secure all medications is unrealistic unless they are explicitly informed of an addiction history.”
In this case, OP and their spouse were unaware of Bob’s struggles. Without that knowledge, it would be unreasonable to expect them to take special precautions.
Privacy and Boundaries: The Problem with Snooping
Beyond addiction, another major issue here is Bob’s violation of privacy. Entering someone’s home and going through their belongings—especially their medicine cabinet—is a serious breach of trust.
Security expert Mark Holloway explains, “Guests should respect personal boundaries. If someone is searching through a homeowner’s private spaces, the issue is not negligence on the homeowner’s part, but rather an intentional act of violation.”
Bob made a conscious choice to steal medication, regardless of his personal struggles. That is not OP’s fault.
How Families Should Handle Addiction Awareness
SIL’s reaction is understandable given the circumstances, but could this situation have been avoided? Addiction experts recommend transparency when bringing someone in recovery into a new environment.
“If you’re introducing a recovering addict into new social settings, it’s beneficial to inform the hosts so they can be mindful of potential triggers,” says Dr. Laura Stein, an addiction counselor. “This doesn’t mean putting an undue burden on others, but communication can help prevent unexpected relapses.”
By not informing OP of Bob’s history, SIL failed to provide them with an opportunity to take preventive measures.
Solutions and Lessons Learned
- Personal Responsibility Comes First – A person in recovery must take ownership of their actions. Hosts cannot be held accountable for unknown addiction histories.
- Respecting Privacy in Other People’s Homes – Snooping and stealing is never acceptable. The blame falls on Bob for his choices.
- Open Communication is Key – If someone in recovery is entering a new home, informing the hosts allows them to take necessary precautions if needed.
- Reframing Blame and Finding Constructive Support – SIL and the family should redirect their anger toward supporting Bob’s recovery instead of blaming OP.
Here’s what Redditors had to say:
This situation highlights the complex nature of addiction, privacy, and personal responsibility. While emotions are running high, OP is not to blame for an act of theft committed in their home.
Should they have done more to prevent this, or is it unfair to expect homeowners to anticipate such situations? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!