AITA for having my kids wear tie dye when with their dad?

A Reddit user shared a story about having her daughters wear tie-dye outfits after discovering that their father, her ex-husband, was selling their clothes for extra money. Despite the girls loving their new tie-dye outfits.

The ex-husband became upset and accused her of being petty, especially when the girls wore the outfits to a family party. The user is now wondering if her actions were justified. Read the original story below…

‘ AITA for having my kids wear tie dye when with their dad?’

I (30 F) my ex-husband (31m). Got divorced 5 yrs ago. During our divorce we owned a old single wide mobile home (1973). On a large piece of land that is zoned for a trailer park. He wanted the new truck and our savings. I wanted the old trailer and the land.. My ex and I have 2 girls (8&7).

Since my divorce. I slowly started buying old single wides and restoring them. Turning it into a business. I love it. My girls go to their dads and AP apartment every other weekend. I started noticing their clothes, electronics, toys were not coming home. At first I thought their dad was just keeping a few outfits there for them.

However, my 8 yr. old got upset when she was packing. I asked her what was wrong. She told me her dad takes her clothes and sells them on line. That she doesn’t want to take her favorite shirt over there. I immediately called my ex. I asked him to return our daughters clothes. Not wanting to throw my daughter under the bus.

I blamed it on them not having enough for school. He played dumb. He said he got rid of the clothes that were too small. I pointed out that the jeans our (7 yr.) had were brand new. He then said that it was only fair he got some cash because he owned the trailer and land. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t be doing this good.

I was pissed. I took my daughters down to the dollar store and bought cheap shirts. To a thrift store and bought cheap shorts. We had a “girls” tie dye night. Hot pink every thing. Each made 5 shirts and 5 bottoms. I let our girls design and decorate them. My girls loved it. The following week Ex sends the girls home.

I could tell he is mad but, he didn’t say anything. The clothes were not returned. No fear I knew this would be a issue. We made extras. When the girls went back they were wearing tie dye. They were with their dad for a hour before he called and demanded different clothes.

I kindly told him that our daughters love those clothes (they really really love tie dye). Ex get even angrier and said his parents have a major family party and the girls can’t wear pink tie dye. I told him that he should go buy other clothes if he didn’t want them to wear it.. He called me an A for being petty.. AITA?.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Gypsy-Nyx −  Nta. Keep a record of what goes over there and back. As you can have the child support changed to show he is taking it back

Forward_Squirrel8879 −  NTA – You need to take this man to court. He is stealing from his children and doesn’t care that it is causing them clear and understandable distress.

TripsOverCarpet −  NTA. My son’s dad and his AP tried this when he was young. Wasn’t selling them, was just keeping any “new” clothing and returning him in old/dirty/outgrown stuff his AP’s kid used to wear and giving son’s stuff to AP’s kid. Told him that wouldn’t fly. What left this house comes back to this house with our son.

His AP retaliated by dumping g**pe soda into my son’s overnight bag. So I took him to court. Judge ordered he had to keep clothing & toys at his house and what our son arrived with was what he returned with. And it had to be clean, unless the visit was less than a day trip. Anything missing/damaged, he had to reimburse me for.

Sparky-Malarky −  NTA. Get a Bedazzler. They’re not expensive and they’re a blast for girls this age. Also fabric markers. Puffy paint. You might have a whole set of new hobbies by the time your girls are teens.

claireclairey −  NTA and your answer was exactly right: he SHOULD be obligated to buy them clothes. He’s their dad for goodness sakes…what kind of father sells his own children’s clothes off their backs? If you can, please take him to court…and give your kids the option of NOT visiting him as soon as you’re legally able.

wildferalfun −  NTA. My ex had a daughter from a hook up before we dated and his mom was all in on having a granddaughter. At least once every weekend, they went out for a shopping trip. New dresses, new outfits, new shoes, new accessories. Not just frilly stuff, but useful stuff, though maybe more pricey than a normal wardrobe for kids.

My ex sent the new stuff with his daughter when she went back to her mom’s because unless she spent all day changing, she’d never wear all the clothes at his house. The little girl once tearfully confided in me that her mom took a scissor to one batch of clothes because reasons?

No explanation, not sure if she objected to the clothes in the bag specifically, was punishing the kid by destroying the clothes, or being spiteful toward my ex/his mom. So my ex made a special effort to send her back in what she arrived in. All hell broke loose after 3 months of no new clothes, despite her mom sending her in increasingly ill fitting and stained clothes.

Nothing was legally actionable on either side so my ex resorted to buying all manner of new clothes that referenced him – Daddy’s Best Girl, Daddy’s Little Princess, etc and those are what he sent home.

Your ex is a complete troll and I would continue to tie dye and maybe mix in some extra personalization. Get a Cricut and add more embellishments to their clothes. Maybe their names, references to you “I have the world’s best mom” or whatever would really trigger him.

ApartLocksmith1 −  NTA and lawyer up! Electronic receipts are your friend in this situation. Your ex has no business (quite literally) selling the clothes off his children’s backs!!! At a guess, most judges would take a dim view of your husband’s “sales activities”.

emccm −  NTA. As soon as you said he wanted the new truck and cash I knew this would be a wild ride. Congrats on your business. You sound very savvy so I’ll sure you’ll do great, especially without your ex holding you back. I equally hope that AP is enjoying the prize she won.

madelinegumbo −  NTA. And I love this creative solution that centers the feelings of your daughters.

YeeHawMiMaw −  Time to ramp up the petty. Pink tie dye could be kind of popular / marketable. Time to get some really obnoxious colors that no one would want to buy. Still let the girls pick it out, and have fun with making the ugliest tie dyes ever – maybe make an award for the ugliest ones.. NTA.

Do you think the user’s tie-dye strategy was a creative solution to protect her daughters’ belongings, or was it unnecessarily petty toward her ex-husband? How would you handle a co-parenting situation involving disagreements over children’s belongings? Share your thoughts below!