AITA for going to my sister’s place after my dad’s wife was rushed to the hospital?

A 17-year-old (17M) chose to go to his sister’s (22F) house after his dad’s wife, who is 7 months pregnant, was rushed to the hospital. His dad’s in-laws wanted him to stay and help with the kids, but he left without discussing it further. His dad later demanded he return home, accusing him of abandoning the family.

The teenager, who plans to live with his sister after turning 18 due to strained relationships with his dad and stepfamily, feels his actions were justified. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for going to my sister’s place after my dad’s wife was rushed to the hospital?’

A week ago my dad’s wife, who’s 7 months pregnant, was rushed to hospital after she started bleeding and having issues breathing. My dad’s ILs were at the house at the time visiting their daughter and grandkids when it happened. My dad went with his wife.

I (17M) went to my sister’s (22F) PLACE instead of staying with dad’s ILs and his stepdaughter (10) and other kids (3 and 18 months). Dad’s ILs wanted me to stay with the kids so they could go to the hospital to make sure their daughter was okay.

I just wanted to get out though and I left without discussing it more. I ended up spending three nights with my sister before dad showed up and demanded I go back to his house. For context about why I didn’t stay and dynamics. Sister and I are full siblings. Dad left mom when she was pregnant with me.

After he left mom he got a job driving trucks and wasn’t around much. Then he moved an hour from us and started seeing us more. Then he moved even closer and tried to get equal parenting time but since he hadn’t taken all the time he was offered before,

never paid his child support and didn’t have a place big enough to give us our own rooms (and wouldn’t give up his bedroom for one of us) he was turned down. He ended up getting married, becoming a stepdad and having more kids with his wife.

Last year my mom died and my dad and sister battled in court for custody. I wanted to live with my sister. The courts said my dad should get a chance since he never really had much time with me. They said my sister was too young to really support me like dad could. I protested it but it didn’t help.

I’m going to live with my sister as soon as I turn 18 and we have a plan for that. Dad doesn’t know but keeps trying to make me forgive him and give his family a chance and to try and be a family with them. I’m not interested. Not in his kids either.

He tried to sell me on being an older sibling until he realized I don’t care about his kids. His wife decided if I didn’t want to give them a chance then she wouldn’t let me have any photos of my mom or sister in her house. I gave them all to my sister. She even went through my stuff to see.

Ever since she reminds me almost daily that I’ll regret not wanting anything to do with her kids when they’re older. She also wished for my sister to end up homeless because my sister didn’t want to know her kids either.

Oh, and because she had gone to court to make sure dad was going to still pay the child support for her that he never paid mom. Back to the current stuff. After my dad made me go back to his place he yelled at the top of his lungs at me for abandoning “my family” and for not showing more concern for his wife and the unborn baby.

Or for the kids who could have lost their mom for all I knew. He told me he deserved better than that. I told him he deserved nothing from me or my sister. He told me my actions showed I’m not growing into a man but a pathetic little boy.. AITA?

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

atealein −  NTA. He told you you are growing into a pathetic little boy? Well he wasn’t there when you were a little boy so nobody to blame but himself.
Don’t feel bad, OP. Just try to endure for few months more.

Trick_Delivery4609 −  NTA Wait it out. You don’t want your dad to go to the cops on your sister or fight her in court more. Make sure she is storing all your important paperwork like birth certificate, passport, driver’s license, SS card, etc. Change bank accounts and move all your money to a new bank..

lock down your credit at all 3 credit bureaus so he doesn’t try to steal your identity. Also, file taxes FIRST every new tax year so he doesn’t try to claim you once you turn 18. Once you leave and turn 18, you can put them all on blast if you want. They failed you and your sister. Go no contact too.

And see if you can still get the missing child support to help you pay for college!. Good luck OP. (And don’t listen to the poster below saying you are a TA. Insanity. They are adults and can handle figuring out childcare. You are not a babysitter. Your dad is an awful dad, full stop.)

Disastrous-Growth156 −  NTA The in-laws are better suited to watching 3 young kids than a 17 year old kid. They could tag team visit the hospital between all 3 of them or get other people to help. You don’t owe your Dad anything after the way he treated you your entire life.

Otherwise_Degree_729 −  NTA. Your dad is just a s**tty human being. As for your stepmother, I am a woman and for the life of me I can’t understand women that marry and have children with men that already have children and never took care of them.

What has to be broken in your head to go: *”Ah he has two children that he couldn’t give a s**t about, let me marry and have children with this man”.*

MattDaveys −  He told me my actions showed I’m not growing into a man but a pathetic little boy. “Maybe if I had a father that raised me, I would have grown into a man. So who’s fault is that?”. NTA

IncidentOk9449 −  NTA…it’s always the parent that either wasn’t there or moves on that tries to force kids into THEIR new norm. Luckily, you won’t have to endure your dad or his crappy wife and their kids much longer since 18 is right around the corner for you.

So good you have a big sister who’s close to you & has a plan with you. I wish nothing but the best for you both!

hellabob420 −  Your ‘ father ‘ and his wife sound like the perfect match. They’re both pathetic. I hope it’s not long before your 18th, you deserve far better!. The biggest NTA ever!

WhereWeretheAdults −  NTA. There is a pathetic little boy in this story, it ain’t you. Your dad and step-mom are so set on having their happy family, they are ignoring everything you feel and think they can just steamroll you into obedience. Once you are 18 and out, join your sister in getting your back child-support. You are legally owed this.

CivMom −  You owe your dad NOTHING. He owes you: being an empathetic parent. Did he get you therapy after your mom died? Does he understand how lost and alone you feel at his house? No? Then he’s failing.

I’m so sorry. Can you ask the courts to move? Do you have a Guardian Ad Litem? A CASA? Or can you hang in there for a few months? You can always report him to a school counselor or call the hotline yourself. But that’s a messy way to go. Effective but messy.. Big hugs.

No-Comfortable-3918 −  NTA. When he yelled at you for abandoning family, you should have responded: “I guess I turned out just like you.”

Was it wrong for the teenager to go to his sister’s house instead of staying with his dad’s family during a crisis? Share your thoughts below!