AITA for going to a different hotel during my vacation with my husband?

A Redditor recounts how a heated argument with their husband during a vacation led them to check into a different hotel. The disagreement stemmed from their husband’s harsh treatment of their 17-year-old daughter, Annie, after he purposely limited the hot water supply at home and berated her for using too much.

Despite the husband’s anger over the “wasted” vacation money, the Redditor stands by their decision. Were they wrong for walking away, or was it justified? Read the story below…

‘ AITA for going to a different hotel during my vacation with my husband?’

It our first real vacation since 2020 and my first with just my husband and in over 10 years. Our daughter Annie (17) was left home alone. For some reason recently Annie can do no right in hubby’s eyes. Dress, music, chores. He has deemed her irresponsible. It farthest from the truth. She has a summer job and makes good grades.

She’s in-fact kinda a hermit for her age. Unknown to me my husband set the hot water heater to refill only once a day while we are gone. Annie did some dishes and laundry. She took a shower and the water was cold. She was upset and thought it broke and called us panicking.

My husband yelled into her for wasting our hot water and telling her how irresponsible she was enough to make her cry. I got madder than I ever have in this marriage and basically said most parents would love to have a 17 year old like Annie. We argued and screamed all night so next day I left the resort to a little hotel down the street.

My husband as been trying to call me and I told Annie to block her father and don’t pay attention to him. My husband is mad about the wasted money on this vacation but I can’t stand to even look at him over an argument over something so stupid and preventable.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

definitelyjanine5 −  Your husband dislikes your daughter, so much so that he manipulated a situation so that he could have an excuse to bully her. This is deeply toxic and obsessive behavior.

You need to truly consider whether you are enabling this abuse by staying with him and giving him an avenue for the ongoing verbal abuse of your child. NTA for your behavior here, thanks for sticking up for an innocent kid.

lenn9n −  NTA. Let me get this straight… your husband is mad because the daughter who was home alone washed dishes, did laundry, and took a shower? My mom would have jumped up and down if I washed dishes and did laundry as a 17 yr old home alone. That’s f**king nuts.

You’re absolutely NTA. Your daughter seems awesome and your husband needs… help, or something. You are awesome for standing up for your daughter like that.

ParsimoniousSalad −  NTA. Your husband sees your daughter as unworthy of even having hot water, “less than.” This can’t be the only instance he’s treated her awfully. It’s time to protect your daughter and put your foot down. He sees nothing wrong with his behavior. Either he needs therapy or you need to do more than leave him just for the vacation.

Aether-Wind −  NTA, but you need to realise that your husband is abusive. You say your daughter is a hermit, and I think I know the reason why, and you need to do more for your daughter. Either he improves, or you need to leave him to protect your daughter.

The fact that this has gone on for so long makes you close the being the AH. Edit: my wording was bad. This is a recent development, but this should have been dealt with ASAP.

Ok_Research_8379 −  NTA. There’s gotta be more going on here if like your saying it’s out of the blue. Time to go into Detective mode. Try talking to Annie to pinpoint something? Look through phones? Something’s weird…. the hot water thing is just spiteful.. Family therapy at the least.

Puppin_Tea_16 −  INFO: was this a recent change? How long has this been going on or gas he always been this way? Whats his relationship like with his daughter?

GrandpaJoeSloth −  NTA – your husband has control issues, and this behaviour will likely result in your daughter going NC with him. And, potentially, with you too by association.. What a j**k.. NTA

graysonthegrate −  NTA. the way your husband treats your daughter is completely unacceptable. it will affect her life in the future and it could possibly warp the way she thinks is okay for partners to treat her. he needs to get his act together and needs serious help or else he’s not going to have a good relationship with her.

tickingkitty −  NTA. I hope your daughter doesn’t grow up thinking this is how she is supposed to be treated by men.

AngryWriterGrr −  NTA. Your husband yelled at your teen daughter for doing dishes and laundry. No wonder you don’t want to be with him. Who can blame you?

Was the Redditor justified in leaving the resort to make a point, or should they have handled the conflict differently? What do you think about the husband’s actions and the reaction it provoked? Share your perspective!