AITA for going out with friends and leaving my younger sister with our grandparents when she begged me not to go?

A 16-year-old boy faced pressure from his family while left in the care of their grandparents with his 11-year-old sister. His sister, coddled by their parents, begged him not to go out with friends, throwing a fit when he did.

The boy valued his freedom and the opportunity to spend time with friends, feeling justified in his decision. Upon returning, their parents expressed anger towards him, emphasizing the need for brotherly love and care. read the original story below…

‘ AITA for going out with friends and leaving my younger sister with our grandparents when she begged me not to go?’

Last weekend my parents went to a wedding and left me (16m) and my sister (11f) with our grandparents. My parents wanted us to come with them and my sister wanted to go to the wedding and get dressed up and stuff. But my sister isn’t known for behaving good and the friends who were getting married didn’t want her there as a result.

So my parents were in a bad mood and my sister was upset. My parents coddle my sister a lot. She acts really babyish because she’s treated like one by them. They make me act like it too. I’m supposed to be “soft and caring” with her. They’ll make me do stuff with her because she wants to and it doesn’t matter what I’m doing.

They interrupted me during homework to go to drive with her and mom to her extra curricular activities because my sister wanted me in the car. They make me give her hugs if she wants them even if I don’t. I have to hold her hand if she wants to hold mine.

They took the lock off my door at home so I’d need to let her sleep in my room if she wanted to. Stuff like that is normal for us. And saying no doesn’t do anything. My grandparents have said they go too far as well. But my parents brush it off. My sister doesn’t like sleeping anywhere but our house.

So she hated the idea of going to our grandparents. And yeah, we’d have stayed at a hotel if we joined our parents for the wedding so don’t ask me how that would have worked. But after our parents dropped us off my sister was being super c**ngy with me and she wanted us to do stuff together the entire day and be home with her to put her to bed.

My grandparents knew my friends wanted to meet up so they gave me money and sent me out for the day (and until late that night). My sister begged me not to go. She cried and threw a fit and continued after I left. When I got home she still wasn’t asleep but my grandparents made sure I could stay in “my room” alone and let me lock it.

My parents were so pissed when they picked us up and my sister was still upset and my grandparents told them (our parents) they should be ashamed for letting it get that bad. My parents told me I should be ashamed for leaving my sister in distress like that and where was my love for my baby sister, with a strong emphasis on the baby part.. AITA?

These are the responses from Reddit users:

DJ_Too_Supreme_AITA −  NTA. The clear favoritism is shown from your parents. My parents coddle my sister a lot. She acts really babyish because she’s treated like one by them. Already your parents are failing their daughter by doing this. They make me act like it too. I’m suppose to be “soft and caring” with her.

Your parents want you to be an accomplice to your sister growing up to be a not so good person and e**itled. Your parents need to stop coddling her, show her discipline, and not expect you or others to do it. Reality isn’t sunshine and rainbows, your sister needs to learn that now before later.

They’ll make me do stuff with her because she wants to and it doesn’t matter what I’m doing. Again, favoritism. Also, if your parents keep this up they will lose both of their kids; you when you possibly go no contact when you inevitably get tired of the favoritism and your sister when she grows up e**itled, refusing to take no for an answer and she gets into some kind if trouble.

Individual_Ad_9213 −  NTA. I’m with your grandparents on this. Your way older than your sister. You should be allowed to have a life of your own without her involved or her dominating what you can and cannot do.

Square-Minimum-6042 −  Your parents will be lucky if you ever speak to them again once you escape from them and their overgrown “baby.”
They took your door off? I am so sorry you are being treated this way op.

Ok_Conversation9750 −  NTA. Your parents aren’t doing your sister any favors by babying her like that.  They are setting her up for failure in the real world. 

Llama-no_drama −  NTA, and good for your grandparents for getting you some breathing room to hang with friends, and sleep alone (seriously, what tf is with that??).
Clearly your parents refuse to listen to your grandparents unfortunately, and I doubt they’d allow you to live with your grandparents either.

I would try to spend as much time there as possible, since they’ll give you a break from your “baby” sister. How is your sister ever going to be a functional adult when they treat her, and you, like this? You are not your sister’s emotional support human, and they are all gonna get a rude awakening in a couple of years when you move as far as you can away from them.

Humble-Network5796 −  NTA. I don’t know about Child Protective Services where you live, but whereI l am, your parents would be in serious trouble for allowing you and your sister to share a room. At a minimum, the lock to your room must be replaced.

All educators are mandated reporters, so I would suggest telling a guidance counselor or a trusted teacher what is going on with the lock on your bedroom door and your sister’s easy access. This should launch an investigation, and you can bring up other problems you’ve encountered as well.

Backgrounding-Cat −  Time to talk with school councillors about moving in with your grandparents

WholeAd2742 −  Your parents are absurd and enabling your sister’s immature and t**ic behavior. That’s exactly the reason why their friends didn’t want her at their wedding in the first place. She’s 11, not 1. They’re doing her zero favors allowing this nonsense to continue. NTA

UusiSisu −  Info: is your sister mentally, physically or intellectually delayed or disabled? ETA: NTA for whatever reason, I am curious why they’re babying a tween. You have great grandparents. Perhaps you can spend more time there?

MeasurementEmpty771 −  NTA. I am a mom of 5 kids, when my now 6 yo start to get c**ngy with my now 12yo, I split their bedroom and made my 6yo leave the older one alone to make sure my oldest was afforded the same autonomy anyone else would want.. You deserve autonomy. Period.

My 12yo spends her weekends with my mom because grandmas house is quieter and still very low demand for her (she’s autistic so sensory overload is easy).
maybe you can spend more time with your grandparents??

For my daughter, it really helps that she gets a break from her little siblings and she’s actually able to be a better sibling organically because she’s not constantly subjected to the annoying little siblings constantly.

If it helps drive the point home for your parents: We just had parent teacher conferences and the teachers were all VERY happy with her academic performance and overall behavior so I think it helps her do better in school too!!

It’s crucial to balance personal needs with family dynamics, especially when boundaries are not respected. What do you think? Share your thoughts below!